I hear so many things that ARE NOT in the literature. So much psycho babble and so many profound-sounding statements rattling out of the mouths of those who want to either sound good or put someone else down. Then there are those who say those things just because they've heard them over and over. Here's some things I hear in and out of meetings all the time.
1. If you are in a bad mood or upset today, you're not working your program. BS.
Where does the literature say we shouldn't have feelings if we're working the program. If this were true, why would we need the steps.
2. If you say you have humility or serenity, you really don't have it.
I can honestly say I have some humility and serenity today. Thank god I have a sponsor who talks about humility/serentiy so I continue learn what it was and why I needed to get me some. I share about what humility / serenity has done for me as I carry the message of recovery. If my sponsor hadn't done that, I probably would have never realized what I was missing out on. Now, if I ever go spoutin' about just how much humility / serenity I think I've got, well that's another story.
3. If you spot it you got it. LOL , this is just another snide way of side-stepping the issue at hand. Sure, if I spot it, I might have it, but come on! I spot a lot in Osama Bin Laden, but does that mean I've got it?
4. Those who gossip (or other character defect) don't have any recovery.
There's a woman in my group who's the biggest gossip around. I don't particularly like her. She has many years of sobriety. I don't share my secrets with her because she wont' keep her mouth shut, but BOY does she have some awesome recovery. I watch her live the 12 steps in her life on a daily basis and go through all kinda of trauma SOBER. We ALL have character defects. The only people I've got no respect for is the ones who harm others with their character defects, then deny they did it. I need to work on having tolerance in that area.
5. Those who matter don't judge, and those who judge don't matter. I judge and I matter - I'm human. Just another one of those smug, self-righteous nonspiritual statements.
6. There are 3 sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth.
That's not gonna fly. While the truth may live somewhere in the middle more times than not, that is NOT necessarily the case. Some things really are as simple as one person telling the truth and the other person lying. I take offense when people make statements that imply I'm lying when they have absolutely no evidence whatsoever to support their statements.
As Rosie would say "DONE". Thanks.
-- Edited by Doll at 21:41, 2006-01-23
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Well I was trying to make a mental list of all the items you listed. but them thought to myself, I would just say for me and for you too, Glad we are not the ones trying to pass that S--- on
It has been my impression over the years, sitting in meetings and watching people, that if they are not coming from an I see, or I feel, or I want, positon, and they are making statements,that would at first, hearing them, try to make you believe that this program has somehow given them some special gift at seeing what is right and wrong with others.
Well Jen, when you stop and think about, they are making pretty big fools out of themselves.
We get only one true thing out of this program, In my opinion, that is the God given ability to not get drunk on a daily basis. and if the days start adding up to months and years, well that is just what they are, a whole bunch of days, 24 hour days of not drinking.
Sometimes, (and it seems for me,) that it is the 20 year mark where people begin telling others how to do this stuff.
How we do it is written in the Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and the 12 step book,
What I do when I hear that C----, I make sure I leave it behind.
I never want to be an "Old Timer" in this program, we have to constanty learn, and the expression implies that "Old Timers" have something special to offer us. I really have never agreed with that wholeheartly.
When i lived in Washington, i was in a basement meeting of AA, in the Alano Club there, and this old man, stood up waving a Big Book, and said to the group. "If this is not your bible and don' t get in here every day, don't consider yourself a member, Just remember you can stay here, but only as a Guest. You are not a member" What a Friggen Ass he was.
Even though I was in my first year, I silently laughed at him, and thought to myself, This chair belongs to me, buddy, and I am a member if I say I am a member. I guess he had alzheimers or something, because he had forgotten the one basic truth, "The only requirement for membership, is a desire to stop drinking."
Also, I can remember some woman telling the group I was in, in Marin, how good it felt to be "Recovered" and doing so well finacially, i couldn't resist that time Jen, I rasied my hand and said, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not sitting here because I'm well" If I ever think I am really well, what would be the point of continuing to go to AA Meetings.
And one more comment on one of you items. I think it went some like "If you are upset, or angry about something, you are not working the Program" When I read that one, I laughed and thought to myself, hell, if I can't get upset, or angry, or feel what I feel, I'd be better off in a couffin! HA HA
Anyway thanks for the humor. You just got to laugh at all the bullshit that flies by on occasion,
This cute little face just means ignore them! HA HA HA
Love, and thanks for your Response earlier, you are the greatest!
Hi, some of (me included sometimes) do the following:
(Add this to the list!) Lol
Sometimes we act like a group of amature psychotherapists, trying to save the world from ourselves.
Bye for now,
Hope you have a great and sober day
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
WOW, doll, thanks for showing us that s%$t !!!! ...hehehehehe........ U know??? i have heard some pretty bizarre crap too, in the meets , in posts....
i had a lady write to me in private one time and told me my posts had "too much info for her to respond to".........
i wrote her back and said "have ya ever heard of 'take what works and LEAVE the rest???" OR "live and let live??" i asked her if these two lines "sounded familiar"
oh well , if we were 100% healthy, we wouldn't be here ...i just "take what works.....leave the rest"......thanks, this was enlightening.....hugs/ rosie
