Wife invited me to the house for a birthday part for a couple of my children. In-laws, brother and sister-in-law, Grandma.......whole crowd was there. Yeah, it was brutal. Emotions were all over the place. Still sober though :)!!!!
The wife followed me around......everywhere. As I was getting ready to leave, she looked at me and asked me if I was drinking (I WAS expecting this). After saying no several times, I finally grabbed her, pulled her to me and hugged her......asked her what she smelled. Nothing. We communicated later in the day and told her that I knew that this was coming.......maybe this is the way it is going to be for a while. I KNOW it is going to take a while to rebuild the trust. I want it now though LOL......one day at a time.
To finish......sadly, a dear friend that I met at rehab fell off the wagon this weekend. I have tried several times to get a hold of him to no avail. His last words to me.......'I hate alcohol!! Its a cancer.......its an excuse!!!' Have not heard from him. He will remain un-named, but keep him and all of the others that are struggling in your prayers.
Thanks for posting ST ... ... ... Patience is something that didn't come easy for me either ... and I really had to laugh out loud when you said you grabbed your wife and hugged her and asked her what she smelled ... ... ... you damn sure wouldn't have done that if you had been drinking, that's for sure ... do your best to not press the issue like she may be trying to do, just concentrate on laying a good foundation for your extended recovery ... 'Today' is, of course, all anyone of us has ... stay in the moment ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
"I KNOW it is going to take a while to rebuild the trust."
That's for sure...my own mother didn't believe I had stayed sober during a couple of trying days I had, which I told her about. Even though I told her I was still sober, she questioned me about it and said she was sorry, but she had trouble believing me. I really got hurt over that, but realized that I have stopped drinking & started drinking again several times and it is hard for her to trust me right now. I feel that after I have a longer length of time of sobriety, the trust will be restored. I am like you--I want it NOW too. But that just ain't gonna happen because there is no "quick fix" for years of destructive behavior which affects not just the alcoholic, but those close to him/her as well.
I am sorry about your friend. I have heard a lot of sad stories and some have tragic endings. Hopefully, your friend will want to stop drinking again soon. Prayers up for your family and him and I hope you keep us posted on how things are going.
Guess what gets me is that I have all the 'physical' characteristics of what an alcoholic looks like......huh? What does that mean? I have put some weight back on so because my cheeks are a little fuller, that must mean I am drinking again. Just frustrating.
Went to a meeting last night, got home around 9, read for a bit said my prayers and was in bed by 9:30. Because I did not hear her call (phone was on vibrate) I was obviously doing something that I should not have been doing. On the positive side, she HAS agreed to attend some meetings and start going to Al-anon...........
Keep me in your prayers. Going to have lunch with my sponsor.........
That's great news ST ... if she will follow-thru on going to Al-Anon, I think that would do wonders for her ... just don't push the issue ...
Ya know, every time I stumble or stuttered or dropped something or a hundred other things, just because I'm in recovery doesn't mean my wife will not 'give me that look' ... you learn to live with it and it always comes out I'm okay, even if THEY may have had brief thoughts otherwise ... don't sweat it man, it does indeed get better, but some of this stuff will follow us around like a shadow for a long time to come, sorry, just the way it is ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Went to a meeting last night, got home around 9, read for a bit said my prayers and was in bed by 9:30. Because I did not hear her call (phone was on vibrate) I was obviously doing something that I should not have been doing. On the positive side, she HAS agreed to attend some meetings and start going to Al-anon...........
Keep me in your prayers. Going to have lunch with my sponsor.........
