Hi everybody! It's a beautiful day here in Iowa, and a great day to share something with you that means a lot to me. I'll start by saying that long ago, I came into A.A. with a whole lot of guilt about a whole lot of things I'd done wrong and plenty of shame about what I was....and with good reason. I'd done plenty to feel guilty about and ashamed of. All of this was absolutely dealt with as I worked the Steps, and my guilt and shame was lifted from me like two tons off my shoulders. Yes, the Steps set me free and I developed a fabulous relationship with God in the process.
Along with that, one of my greatest joys of this gift of sobriety is my relationship with my children. My youngest son, Patrick, who was then a toddler, would draw pictures and color them especially for me. When he'd finish one, he would climb up on my lap and present it to me. I'd have a blast hearing him tell me all about it. His picture wasn't perfect. They were always images of people with orange or purple faces with weird-looking heads and funny looking feet. And, he always colored outside the lines. No art dealer would've given you a nickel for it, but it was absolutely priceless to me. No, it wasn't perfect, but that didn't matter to me. It was absolutely perfect to me because it was from my child.
One evening, while Patrick was sharing one of his pictures with me, I was blessed with a little glimpse of inner spiritual reality. Maybe you could call it, the Great Reality that is God. I suddenly realized that God had always seen me just like I see my own child. I soon saw that God had loved me just as much when I was very imperfect....when I had "colored outside the lines", so to speak. He had loved me at my worst, and He had loved me at my best. He loved me when I was bad and when I was good. He loved me when I was wrong and when I was right. I saw that He had loved me at every moment of my life. He did not love me less when I was less than perfect. He'd always loved me simply because I'm His child and I belong to Him....just like I love Patrick who is my child and belongs to me. From that moment on, each time I looked at Patrick, I was reminded of how much God loves me. This experience between God, myself, and Patrick seemed to heal a little place inside me that I did not even know that still needed to be healed.
Patrick was God's healing messenger that evening when he was sitting on my lap long ago. Today he's grown but Patrick is still my messenger of Divine unconditional Love. Thanks a lot for letting me share. I hope you will share on this topic too. Blessings to all, Mike D.
Hey Mike, ... I also believe we are all God's children and that it is wonderful that He treats us that way, LOL ... it's the strongest emotion ever, they call it Love ...
It makes me reflect on my life a bit in the way of the old 'parable' the 'Prodigal son' ... ... ... you know?, the story where the son leaves home to go experience the 'wild' life ... and after a while of living 'his way of life' and losing everything he had, he returns home having spent his whole inheritance and broke, to find his father welcome him back with open arms and laying out a feast in celebration ... ... ... wow, what a story of forgiveness and love ...
I find it amazing as the older I get, how I can personally relate to the lessons and stories from the Big Big Book ... and the AA program, from which I find many parallels, follows the Good Book very closely ... ... ... and for that, I am grateful ...
Great post, by the way ... love it!!!
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
((((Mike))))...loved it and Mahalo for that share because....when I compare my recovery story with others in the program I am always amazed at the similarities of what it was like, what happened and what it is like now. HP did with and for you just as HP did for me. There are some differences and then it isn't the differences that matter do they? The title of your post captivates me because at one period of growth in recovery and my relationship of trust and faith with my Higher Power I stopped short in the middle of a journey from here to there and looked up and asked the question "How do you see me"? The response to that question has come over years of recovery as I have been allowed to have miracles often times I felt I didn't deserve which brings me to the response to the question, "I love you and often times more than you love yourself". I believe that all of us should ask HP that question, "How do you see me"? and then listen and watch the responses.
Loved this post...appreciate getting it. I want to hear more from the MIP fellowship on it. (((hugs)))
Hey Pappy, thanks for sharing yourself on this topic. You're right, by the way, the more I read what's in the Big Book, the more I come to understand what's in that Big Big Book! What just gets me sometimes is the fact that it was always there for me the whole time. I just rejected it, or more like ignored it, as I was out there trying to find happiness by being a self-centered jerk. I'm thankful for the many ways God conveys His love to me. But, I'm also thankful that, by working the Steps, I finally became able to see it and hear it and receive it and know it. Blessings, Mike D.
Hey Mike, are you my long lost brother ???, LOL ... ... ... I think we are very close to sharing the exact same experiences and thoughts here ... and to think I was unique at one time, LOL ... there ARE people out there just like me ... now I'm just glad to know we also share the same kind of 'life recovery' too ... ... ... this stuff means soooooo much more than just learning how to 'not drink' ...
God Bless
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi Jerry, glad you could relate and that you shared on this topic. Yes, you're right, you've had different experiences of God, and so have I. Everyone has experiences that are a bit different. I think that's because we are all different people and I've come to believe that God approaches each one of us a little differently, because He knows each of us so well. Like you, I also have found that, if we ask God a sincere question, we'll never be ignored! He definitely will respond to us with an answer. I'm looking forward to seeing more and more "shares" on this subject. Thanks and blessings to you, Mike D.
Hi again Pappy! Yes, this whole deal turns out to be a lot more than just not drinking anymore. The thing is though, I had to damn near die in order to find it out. I never understood the real meaning of the song "Amazing Grace" until I actually received it through working the Steps. Let's all thank God for the 12 Steps that brought us to Him! Are you with me brother?? Blessings, Mike D.
If you go back a bit and read some of my older posts Mike, then you'll find that indeed, I was very near death at my lowest point (my last trip to rehab I was turning 'yellow' from a liver that had stopped functioning, and it took me 3 days to be able to walk without needing a wheelchair ...) ... I proved to myself that it was only by the grace Of God that I remain alive today, He did have a plan for me after all ... He knew I could and would go on to seek helping others if He kept me around a little longer ... at the time it had to be His plan, cause it seems I did everything BUT kill myself with that damn poison ... ... ... I AM with you brother ... we're starting to sound like the same person again, just with different names ... LOL
Love ya brother and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
G'mornin' Pappy, Yep....there's nothing like being near death to make us fully embrace life. I certainly don't deserve all I've been given. See ya later on. Have a good Sunday, Mike D.
G'mornin' Pappy, Yep....there's nothing like being near death to make us fully embrace life. I certainly don't deserve all I've been given. See ya later on. Have a good Sunday, Mike D.
Morn'n to you as well Mike, ... you did notice my posting 'signature' at the bottom, right ??? ... ... ... also, during my 'near death' (detox) (and the same probably happened to you), my BP shot to nearly 300 with a heart rate of over 170 bpm ... ... ... The doctor kept shaking his head and asking , 'how are you not stroking out right this minute ???' ... ... ... he said he'd never seen a person get through that without severe consequences ... ... ... so yes, I too, am better than I deserve ... I'm tell'n ya, it's ONLY by 'grace' ... ... ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
