Why am I struggling so??

Standing_Tall · Veteran Member

Why am I struggling so??

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

Rough week and you didn't drink...That's good. Not a bad time to be doing some stepwork...That is the program of recovery. If I have a situation where I can't make it to a meeting...I like to listen to AA speakers...This site is loaded with them....Early on I read the Big Book and listened to Joe and Charlie...Couple oldtimers that knew and explained the book...Both have passed on sober...But their message is still good. Nice job ST. Lot of good speakers here...

http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=56

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Come here ;)

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Standing_Tall wrote:
If you can't make it to a meeting, what do you do to make it through the rough times? I am VERY early in my sobriety and I know what the stats look like. Just want to keep this train rolling in the right and positive direction.....

Actually, you're doing what I do, ... lots of prayer AND I come here to check in with all my friends and family ... when I do get to meetings, I sometimes tell or share what I've learned here (without the names or avatar names of course) ... (in the meetings 'after the meetings', I often invite others to join us here too ...) ... ... ... and what Stepchild suggested is something I also did early in the program ...

Glad you're here ... stick around, you ain't seen nothin' yet ...

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Yep: prayer, reading the Big Book, coming to this site, calling my sponsor, calling other alcoholics. Early on I had the Big Book on audio file and would listen to it as I was going to sleep.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

RubyTues wrote:
Yep: prayer, reading the Big Book, coming to this site, calling my sponsor, calling other alcoholics. Early on I had the Big Book on audio file and would listen to it as I was going to sleep.

That's good...Sounds like a PLAN.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Standing...after a while every minute you put into your recovery, however you do it and with whoever is with you to help; sobriety becomes more natural and getting a drink un-natural. At first it is difficult, we struggle because we are suppose to. Recovery is different on many levels...it goes against centuries and centuries of the opposite ideas and practices and even our behaviors go against the norm and the pay off is peace of mind and sobriety and serenity where when we used and drank we didn't care much about.

I knew what the suggestion "do 90 meetings in 90 days" meant when I first got into program...that is the prescription for changing habits or put another way replacing one habit with another one. My habit of drinking would be replace with a habit of wanting to be and then being with people who didn't drink and used...how strange to find myself in such company and then how magical. I have not ever met a person in the 35 years I've been around the rooms who hasn't struggle in some degree and so don't be afraid of the struggle. It is actually telling you that you are growing...your old self is giving up no matter how involuntarily. Keep on keeping on still.

I use literature...all of it...I have a daily meditation next to my eating setting and a library of approved literature around my home. I also have approved literature in my truck and my ignition key change has a spiritual slogan on it. My wife is a program member (Al-Anon) and my Higher Power held the door open for me when I first got into recovery. Times have been difficult at times and at other times my life is happy, joyous and free just as promised and I will not surrender that up in stead of the work it requires.

You don't always struggle. Take the bitter with the better and hold stride. You're never alone.

-- Edited by Jerry F on Monday 14th of October 2013 08:31:16 PM

Zoomtopz · MIP Old Timer

Standing Tall , that is why we go to so many meetings "we get the money in the bank"

so to speak , so when we do fall on 'hard times' , we can draw on 'all' those xtra meetings we have been to.

tomsteve · Senior Member

"If you can't make it to a meeting, what do you do to make it through the rough times? I am VERY early in my sobriety and I know what the stats look like. Just want to keep this train rolling in the right and positive direction....."

i am very impressed with what ya write. IMO, there are some fears that are healthy, and the fear of being on the negative side of the stats is a healthy fear.
welp, early in recovery i would highly suggest using them phone numbers ya got, reading the big, come on here,and keep in fit spiritual condition.
the last 7 months have been a wee bit rough here. i had been my mothers caregiver for 10 years until she passed away on sept13th. her health was deteriorating for the previous 6 months and that really upped the caregiving and lowered the meetings to about one every other week. i still did what i suggested earlier- called other people in recovery, read the big book, prayed, and put the principles into action. nope, i sure didn't do it all the time. it was very exhausting mentally and emotionally, but there were a few words that would pop into my head when i was starting to get off track and they would help set me straight( and i believe it was God that did that for me): cunning,baffling,powerful,patient, and deadly.

also remembering how good a drink didn't help any other time in my life.

-- Edited by tomsteve on Monday 14th of October 2013 09:45:21 PM

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Good one ZZ, I like that one too ... thanks

Ya know, and I don't mean this to brag, not in the least, but I went well beyond the 90-in-90 we always recommend ... I was soooo sick when I came back the last time, I was about a month shy of 2 years ... meaning for me, it took 700 in 700 meetings ... and I can't expect others to follow that, but I have an AA friend that came in a month after me, and he did the very same thing ... we both got our 5 yrs chips one month apart ...

I took the phrase "if you put half as much time and effort into your recovery as you did drinkin', then you can recover" ... AND this was my "willing to go to any lengths to stay sober" commitment ... ... ... All I'm sayin' is I was going to die soon if I could not find a way to stop drinkin' ... I could easily see it as 'life or death' from the bottom I had found myself in ... ... ...

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Sound like you already know why it was a struggle. Physical sickness took you away from meetings at a critical point in early sobriety. Get well an work it!

Sober Strummer · Senior Member

Read the stories in the back of the book. I used to read one every night. I would read them aloud in bed. It had a feel like being in a meeting and hearing someone share.

The phone. The numbers we get at meetings. We do that for a reason.

Standing_Tall · Veteran Member

Update.......

Had three really good meetings yesterday. Was nice to get back into the swing of things. The meeting I typically go to is rather large, usually 40 to 50 people attend at any given time.....for me that equates to LOTS of support. Very blessed to live in a large city where there are SO many meeting options and sponsored events to attend. They truly have become my adoptive family. I'll keep you updated..............

Thanks to all who have replied to this post. It is greatly appreciated!!

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

That is awesome news....Thank you for starting my day off on a good note!

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Good for you Standing Tall, ... Good for you !!!

God Bless

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Standing Tall,
3 meetings in one day is awesome!!! I have only made it to 2 in one days at the most and I did that when I felt weak. I am fairly new in the program with a few months of sobriety. Made it to 90 in 90 and I have kept going everyday beyond that even when mentally I didn't want to, I knew I had to (for me). I have thought if I was ever really sick and couldn't, like you, I would come to this board. These folks are filled with more experience in staying sober and have really have helped me so much to stay sober!!!

Standing_Tall · Veteran Member

I am very fortunate that there are a LOT of meetings where I live. I can typically get an early bird in before work, one at lunch time, and then one in the early to late evening. There are a lot of great clubs here, and a lot of sobriety to lean on.........

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

That's like where I live...I did two to three meetings a day my first 90 days......Two and a half years later and I did two yesterday and I'll be doing two today....What a blessing....To be surrounded by that much recovery....That's a gift that I'm going to use. The guy I sat next to this morning has 51 years sober in AA...I see him all the time...The Topic.....You never graduate from AA....It's a way of life. And I love it.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

I also was working my ninth step when I got my 90 day chip....That was key.

Mike D · MIP Old Timer

What Step are you working right now? Attending A.A. meetings do not cause a spiritual awakening which takes away our obsession to drink. Working the 12 Steps is the only thing which will accomplish that.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

Standing_Tall wrote:
I am currently working Step 8. That might be the cause of some of my struggles. I have made the list and man, I have left a huge wake of destruction where I have been. The willing to make amends part is my difficulty right now. We talked about this very subject in one of my meetings the other day. The fear of being 'blasted' or rejected seems to be a common theme, at least with some of the people I have spoken to in my group.

Read the directions carefully....Then read them again. Steps 8 and 9 are steps you want to ask your HP for help and work closely with your sponsor.

Remember this...

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

BB pg 83

Painstaking.....Marked by or requiring great pains; very careful and diligent.

-- Edited by Stepchild on Wednesday 16th of October 2013 09:02:19 AM

Standing_Tall · Veteran Member

I am currently working Step 8. That might be the cause of some of my struggles. I have made the list and man, I have left a huge wake of destruction where I have been. The willing to make amends part is my difficulty right now. We talked about this very subject in one of my meetings the other day. The fear of being 'blasted' or rejected seems to be a common theme, at least with some of the people I have spoken to in my group.

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

"The guy I sat next to this morning has 51 years sober in AA"
Wow, Stepchild...I have never heard of anyone with that much sobriety in AA before, that's great!

Standing Tall, glad you have lots of meeting you can attend where you live. Would love to see a posting about some of the steps you went through as it would really help me.

Standing_Tall · Veteran Member

betterthanyesterday52 wrote:
"The guy I sat next to this morning has 51 years sober in AA"
Wow, Stepchild...I have never heard of anyone with that much sobriety in AA before, that's great!

Standing Tall, glad you have lots of meeting you can attend where you live. Would love to see a posting about some of the steps you went through as it would really help me.

The biggest thing for me was Steps 1, 2, and 3. I call them acceptance, belief, and decision. I do Step 3 daily......every morning and throughout the day I turn my will over to my HP as I know him. Prayer and meditation has been big for me. I sit in the same spot in my house every day with no distractions, ie no tv, radio, etc........and just listen, just listen. Everyday it absolutely amazes me what you can hear when there is nothing to hear. I just let God take over, especially when I am thinking of drinking, and he has bailed me out every time.

Prayer works! I promise you! After my 90 day rehab stay, I got my old job back (my desk was exactly the way I left it lol), my children still love and talk to their Dad on a daily basis, and last but not least, I have gained many new brothers and sisters through AA. It is such a relief to me to know that I am NOT alone in my struggles! Before rehab, I felt like I was on an island with just an oar.....no boat!!! No more. I know that I have all the support I need if I just do the Steps, follow my program, and turn my will over to God! That's how I do it!!

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Thanks for sharing about the Steps and your meditation, Standing Tall. I will try the meditation and been praying, but sometimes with distractions so will try what you do.