Communicating

He said, "Let's go to the movies when we're done with our work." She said, "That's a great idea!" But when the work that she had in mind was finished, he still had several tasks that remained undone. So they got into a dispute. It was not a disagreement, it was a misunderstanding.

Another day, she said she was frightened about an upcoming visit to her doctor. Actually, she felt overwhelmed with fear and was trying hard to keep herself under control. But on the outside, she looked controlled, so he thought she was only a little afraid. She felt hurt and neglected because he seemed insensitive to her great fear.

What one means and thinks on the inside will never be exactly what one shows in words and feelings on the outside. We naturally long to be understood. But in adult relationships we have to expect differences between what is meant and what is said. This has nothing to do with honesty or how much two people love each other. What seems obvious to one partner on the inside is not necessarily obvious to the other partner on the outside.

Recall a time when your words did not convey your whole meaning.