It's great that you have achieved success in many areas of your life. It shows that you're not afraid of hard work to achieve goals and to improve your life and life of those that are around you. It's also very likely that you view a few drinks as your reward for working so hard to achieve and support your family and your business. Many people feel this way (most of us did) and many of those can have 1 or 2 drinks and think nothing of not finishing the second drink or even spend a single moment contemplating a third. These folks don't even think about not thinking about it, much the same as we wouldn't consider whether we should or shouldn't have a third glass of water with dinner, or how many we've had. We have had enough and don't give a conscious thought about having more water, our arm just stops lifting the glass to our mouth. It's like that with "normal" drinkers. Us, on the other hand, spend a considerable amount of time thinking about drinking. When, what, how many, where, will there be enough, will people notice, how will we hide it, how will we get more, get home, explain our behavior, and in many late stage alcoholics, how will I get money to buy my booze. There is a line that we cross, and it's like an episode of the twilight zone. We can't seem to make it back to our earlier life, to "normal drinking". My favorite saying, that reflects this, is "Once a pickle, never a cucumber again". <--- This is an acceptance statement. Once we have begun to drink and think, and behave alcoholically, we can't go back to the life we knew. We must accept our powerlessness over alcohol and that we can never drink safely again. And this is a "Progressive Disease", like cancer, it gets worse as time goes by, except we can arrest this disease any time by stopping.
Only one other problem, our thinking. We have become obsessive about everything. "The disease of More". We've become perfectionistic. The disease of "Not good enough". We have become crippled by a hundred forms of fear that manifest into all negative emotions. Getting sober is about dealing with the alcoholic thinking. Quitting drinking is just the entrance fee. The alcoholic must take a close look at what drives him, and change because "The same man will drink again". We learn, by going to meetings, what happens to alcoholics who think (and act on those thoughts) that they could drink again. We hear it from those that made it back to sobriety, and we hear about those that didn't make it. We then accept that drinking alcohol, for us, will bring losses of sanity, freedom, and death. The losses of family, careers, material possessions (houses, cars, cash) are secondary, to the aforementioned, and just a by product, a foregone conclusion. If you are an alcoholic and you continue to drink, you will lose most or all of these things. So where's the problem? If you have read this far, and you believe what I'm telling you, it should be simple, just don't drink, end of problem. Not so fast. This "Primary Disease" as specified by the AMA, is the only disease that tells the sufferer that they don't have a disease. Imagine that. A disease that takes control of the afflicted's mind, erases logic, critical decision making, maturity, honesty, dignity, integrity... and focuses their mind on one thought..."I can have just 1 or 2 drinks today". If this sounds familiar, you're in the right place. You've got extraordinary skills to focus on a problem or a goal, and work hard and long to solve/ achieve it. The only thing lacking is an education on the process of getting sober and the commitment to carry it out. I like to compare the process to getting a college degree, with no semesters off. Lots of great suggestions above, hopefully you're not a one post wonder "what happened to that guy" and you'll join us in some discussion and learn that we're a a Lot more alike that we are different. Welcome and good luck in your new venture.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Saturday 12th of October 2013 03:31:46 PM
Binge drinking has nearly taken everything from me. I'm an Alcoholic, I have known that for years. I am a successful businessman have a fabulous life, plenty of cash and lovely kids. I have now got to the stage where it is affecting everything. I have to stop. The remorse is killing me from the inside. I can't sleep, I am scared to go out for free of someone seeing me who's seen me drunk. I am like a little lost boy.
I am looking for some guidance and support. Please can you help?
We've been where you are...You've come to the right place.
I would suggest two things to start...See if you can find an AA meeting near you and go....ASAP. Use google to find one. And if you have some time to read...Start with The Doctors Opinion and read chapters 1 through 7...See if you see yourself in this book...And if it sounds like something that you'd be willing to do.....I did....And it changed my life. Welcome!
Welcome to MIP Bdi, ... I've got to run right now, but will post more later ... keep coming back ... it's about to get real interesting for you ... (in the mean time, read some of the past posts here for a better understanding of exactly who we are, we ARE here to help each other) ... so you found a good place to be ... glad to have you with us ...
God Bless,
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Like I'm doing this morning...cleaned myself up...ate breakfast...check in with my recovering family here...get in my truck...get to my AA home group, AA at the bay in Hilo HI., ...come home do support in a recovery business meeting...go fishing or anything else but drink. You're just starting so maybe going to the white pages of your local telephone book and looking up the hotline number to AA central and calling to find out where and when the next open meeting is so that you can attend. You just walked thru the necessary door to get your problem fixed. All successful business men and long term recovering alcoholics understand that "follow thru" gets it done. Let's hear about it after your meeting.
Congratulations on admitting you have a problem. Great advice already given. Besides the AA meetings, I love this board and the folks here have been a big help to me in my recovery process.