Some of you might remember the video i posted about an ex girlfriend drinking for 6 days and going into a alcoholic comatose state after a length of sobriety. Well, anyways that was about a year ago, and she was in the hospital for 11 days, and in coma for 9 of them. Upon her discharge on day 11, she was physically detoxed but her mind wasn't. To her it was if she had just had a drink a few hours ago and the insanity of the alcoholic brain had her immediately craving the next drink.... I tried but couldn't deal with all the drama that goes with being in a relationship with a active alcoholic. Love only carries someone for so long and then if they want to drown in this disease I am not willing to drown with them, so I let her go.
Well, last night about 3am my doorbell is rung. It is her. Drunk as can be, with blood running down the side of her face from both a head wound and a cheek bone that is busted. No shoes or socks on. Urine all over the back of her pants.Someone gave her a true ass-kickin'. A very sad sight for me. I call 911 and they send an ambulance. However, she refuses to go to the hospital and they tell me they can't force her to go because she is an adult that can refuse medical treatment. I ask them doesn't the person refusing have to be of sound mind and body? She is sh*t face drunk! I am told not unless i go to magastrates office and get a involuntary commitment order on her! It' 330am! They clean up her wounds and leave.
I end up putting her drunk ass in the shower and washing her stinky, funky pants. I put her on the couch to go to sleep until this morning. Upon wakening I wake her and let her know I will get her in detox but if she isn't going to do that she just has to go. She agrees to go to detox because she has no where else to go. I take her to hospital to get the referral to detox and they have her waiting in the lobby for a social worker to show up and do a pre-screen interview.
After sitting there for about an hour she reaches into her little purse and pulls out a straight edge razor and cuts her wrist, saying "no one cares about me, not family, you or even the police. I am done here i can't do this anymore!"! It was totally by surprise, never saw it coming. I grab her hand that has the razor and scream, "i need security now!" Of course she is now involuntarily committed.
Now the rest of the story. In piecing together what lead to police bringing her to my apt...(sound like Paul Harvy, huh?) She was drunk, walking up a street and a man pulls over and ask if she is okay, then ask where she is going, does she want ride and she gives him my address. She passes out in his car, and when she comes to she is in his apt and he is trying to have sex with her. She just had a full hysterocromy 2 1/2 weeks ago! She tries to resist and he tries to beat her into compliance, she runs out of the apt naked, nothing but a coat on and bangs on a nieghbors door, who sees her condition, her bloody face, hair and nakedness and lets her in. The neighbor calls 911, the police show up. They can't get the guy that tried to rape her drunk, passed out butt to answer his door, and she is refusing medical treatment, so the only thing they thought best to do is bring her to my place.
This morn after getting her in hosp. I call her phone to locate it and turns out this guy cleaned out her purse of debit card, ID, cell phone and went downtown to sell it all. So, i contact the police again, speak to a leutenet, and now he is arrested and charged with robbery, attempted rape, and felony assault. They have obtained all her stolen property he sold to this kid for 100.00. (His momma paid for it because they thought the phone was all that was in the case and its a 400.00 smartphone) It appears the police were not going to do anything because she was a smelling funky drunk. They were hoping they could get by with just bringing her to my place!
Now i am pissed at her, some guy i don't even know and the police dept. Their all a bunch of fu*k ups in my almighty book!
Arn't you glad you didn't have to live in my world this past 24 hours? Why me, Lord? Send this crap to someone else, i don't want or need this kind of entertainment!!
My old man was in that state of detox, strapped to a bed. They declared him incompetent. Such a tough thing to see.
Who knows why your HP has let this come your way. Such a stark and painful display of the power of alcohol. I feel for ya on this. Your ex-girl friend. Has to be tough.
Frustrations sound like enough to go around.
I bet cops just want to pass old funky drunks on to anyone that will take them. It reminds me of my glory days...
Not sure what the lesson is there John. Maybe just a display of a recovered alkie doing the right thing in a tough situation. The power of a good example lives on.
Take care and I hope you get some sleep.
__________________
"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
I know who you're referring to John ... a very attractive, or should I say someone who used to be very attractive and had a great smile ... I know the struggles you had back then and it's hard to imagine she never hit a bottom low enough to surrender to the help available in our program ... I prayed for you and her many times back then, and will again ... you went far beyond what anyone could expect, to try and help her ... I know at one time you tried to love her into recovery ... no matter what message God is sending you, you just relayed His message to me that I cannot force or coerce anyone into helping themselves ... for that message, I am grateful ...
I won't mention her name here, it's not my place ... but I will pray for God's will to be done for her as well as for you ... hang tough man ... You've been through worse!!! ... (remember when that was you ?)
Love ya man and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
In support and prayer John..Sometimes re-enforcement of our gratitude of LIFE and our journey of recovery is brought to us in many different ways. Like is has been so aptly stated here if WE WERE ever in thought of picking up again WE JUST HAVE TO TURN AROUND and see the mountain WE have climbed..Be blessed for the help you were able to offer,One helping another in a loving and caring manner and definitely not always easy.Be at peace in the God of your understanding brother.....
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Thank all of you for your understanding and support! I dare to think you really know how much it means to me right now. PinkChip, you are right, I was at a spot last year that had me trying to fill the hole in my soul with another human being. Me being a broken man, and she only had just over 1 year of sobriety. And no, I don't believe today she is someone I would have picked for myself if I was operating from a place of sound mind and emotional stability back then. I let her go, not because I wanted to, but because I had to in order to obtain any sense of peace and serenity in my life at all. My experience with her and doing the 12 step work on me, really gave me both a rude and spiritual awakening. I never stop loving someone I once loved, because I never want that light in me to go out and each love was a candle unto itself, collectively that love experience means I have lived. In the absence of that emotion as a part of our life experience I think many are walking dead, for they have yet to live in the fullness, warmth and the colors of love that inspires the human spirit.
In the video below I think my love is all the way out there for the whole world to see, and the PAIN of alcoholism in a love relationship is too. With what I have written today, and this video I made over a year ago, any one that thinks a recovering alcoholic is less susceptible to the "anon's, anon's and non's" given true expression by this horrid disease is fooling only themselves. I'm not a half and half. I am a true blooded alcoholic, that has been sober for a few 24 hours, and a full blown Al-Anon, who may not be as well as he would like to be, or others would like him to be, but I'm damn glad I am not as sick as I use to be!
Heck, I don't think I would even make a good Sugar Daddy... but a good Sweet and Low... I got that down..... a very sweet man that stays low on funds. LMAO!
Pappy, yes I do remember when... I was with my hands behind my back in handcuffs, being rescued, not arrested... from ME.
Mike, you are so right, my gratitude got a big dose this past day.... I'm so glad I don't have live or feel the way I saw someone else living and feeling, and I don't have to wake up to their tomorrow.
Sober Strummer... I was once told, you can be the power of example or the example of the Power... I don't think she was the only one being lead by that Power last night. I think I was too.
Betterthanyesterday... I was told early on... the only meeting I'm late for is the one I don't show up too.. get there before they do the lords prayer and you have gotten the message. :)
Thank you John ... it never hurts for me to be reminded of "the fatal nature of this disease" ... ... ... you and she are both still in my prayers ... (She is unwittingly teaching us a very important lesson ... and I would be a fool not to see that!)
My Love goes out to you and her ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Arn't you glad you didn't have to live in my world this past 24 hours? Why me, Lord? Send this crap to someone else, i don't want or need this kind of entertainment!!
I have complete faith that God works through us John...Sounds to me like you are the only reason this lady is still alive. Sending you both prayers for strength.
John,
Bless you for loving her and trying to save her. I cried all the way through the video you made and it was heartbreaking to watch. The song which you chose was perfect. I too lost my daughter for over five years due to alcoholism and once I got sober and started AA this last go round, she came back into my life. She only sends me an occasional brief email and that is when I let her know when I pick up my monthly chips (we have a meeting here that does that and not just for the milestone dates.) I wonder if I will ever see her again because she is not ready to see me and I wonder if I will ever hold my grandchildren, should she choose to have any. I think she wants to be sure I am sticking with the program and I haven't been sober long enough to prove that to her. My heart goes out to you and this beautiful woman who you have given your heart to. It would be nice if you could post this video up on the internet and not just on this site as I feel it will truly save many lives. I have never been through that kind of hell and I am so sorry that both of you have and I am sorry for the pain which you are continuing to go through. I will keep you both in my prayers.
It is kinda like shopping a furniture stores ding and dent department, but hey, they usually have some good stuff back there, that just needs some old english. I didn't know the legs were falling off until I got it home! LOL
Good sense of humor, John. I am afraid I am a bit too empathetic at times and worry there are other poor souls out there as overly-sensitive as me. Pity the next person that winds up with me. I need more than turpentine--more like a complete stripping and revarnishing.
LMAO John, ... God Bless you for keeping your sense of humor ... I feel that that is another method of healing ... sure relieves the stress for me most of the time ... it also helps me not to take myself too damn seriously at times as well ... thanks man, for everything ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
