Need advice on drinking and quitting

Fyne Spirit · MIP Old Timer

RE: Need advice on drinking and quitting

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

"I'm a binge sneezer, I can go long periods between sneezes without any problem. But then I run into that strange nasal blank spot, I take just one sneeze and it's out of control."
I do that, too! Never knew it was hayfever. I can go five minutes, 10 minutes and one sneeze after the other and some I feel are so loud and strong my head will blow off. Very embarrassing.

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi Fyne Spirit,

No need to be sorry for side-tracking the discussion. You didn't. It's an open forum and all opinions and views are welcome and appreciated. You have a unique view that adds a unique dimension to the discussion so 'thank you'. I think we've all been guilty of not being honest with ourselves and those around us. It is such an incredible waste of time and, looking back, I realize how silly it was to act like that. Fortunately we learn from our mistakes so I have a lot of reference points for moving forward and living a better life!

I sincerely hope you're healing and moving past your challenges Fyne Spirit.

All the best,

GTT

Fyne Spirit · MIP Old Timer

Thanks for the kind thoughts GTT. I hope my persepctive is not too inique, I am trying to come at this from the point of view of the Big Book. The great strength of AA is that we have a "common solution upon which we can all agree and join in brotherly and harmonious action" I really don't want to be peddling my own solution, just my experience with the common solution.

The issues I was describing left me many years ago when I joined this fellowship and began developing the AA program as a way of life. Life has thrown up every imaginable challenge in the meantime but, through the grace of the God of my understanding, I have not needed to take a drink, no matter what. I have been able to function happily in this world on the same terms as anyone else for over 30 years.

Have a great weekend GTT. Im going to spend mine doing some work on my yacht.

God bless,
MikeH.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

You came on this site asking for advice GTT...And you got 2 pages of good reponses. I hope you'll read them again...Maybe you missed something. I know for myself it came down to two things...Hearing things I didn't want to hear....And doing things I didn't want to do. That was the only way. Out of these two pages one sentence really stands out for me...And that was your first one...

I need help with drinking but I don't know (or want to admit) I'm an alcoholic.

It's really hard to solve a problem if you don't know what the problem is. Good luck this weekend.

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

GTT,
Congratulations on your sobriety days!! Is it 11 already? That is awesome! You should be feeling so much better by now physically and mentally.
I will be thinking about you and how your weekend trip with your friends is going. Hope you keep in mind what a great example you can be for them by choosing not to drink. One of our neighbors heard I am in AA and he was very curious about it. He said he has an issue with drinking, too. Since that conversation, I have noticed I don't hear as many cans being thrown loudly (maybe from anger???) into his recycling bin next door, so hopefully he isn't drinking as much and one day can quit. (I don't want to be pushy with him.)

Goodness! Two pages??? I'm jealous--LOL, just kidding, but that should let you know how much you are cared about here.
Hope to hear from you while on and/or when you get back from your trip.

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi betterthanyesterday52,

Thank you for your support and kind words. Yes, I feel much better. I'm don't as subject to the emotional highs and lows and more balanced. The nice thing (if there is one) about getting past a hangover like that is I don't feel like having a cigarette. I'm going to get through this weekend without drinking. It may be uncomfortable at times but I'll make it. So send me good karma!

Stepchild,

"I need help with drinking but I don't know (or want to admit) I'm an alcoholic.

It's really hard to solve a problem if you don't know what the problem is....."

I think I'm pretty clear about what my problem is (or was). I need to stop drinking. That's obvious to me now and I plan on sticking to my decision. I'm finding discussing this here very helpful and I like facing this challenge. I'm not going to turn this into a white-knuckle experience. Drinking doesn't work for me and I need to work on myself and address the reasons why I got to the point of medicating myself with it. I really do appreciate your insights and support.

All the best,

GTT

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Hi GTT,
Glad you are feeling better and it sounds like you were/are a smoker and don't smoke now? If so that's great and I wish I knew your secret, as I still smoke way too much! Sounds like you are doing great staying away from the alcohol.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Good for you GTT for hanging in there for 11 days ... keep sticking around for a while so we can support each other ... it doesn't matter how you're staying sober right now as much as the fact that you are doing so ... if your method works for you, great ... I just want to caution you about what I did, I had some sober time and thought I could drink again, wrong, I did alright for a day or two, then boom, full blown passing out every night again ... just remember, we never get to where it's ever safe for us to drink again, no matter how much sober time we have ...

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi Pappy,

Thanks for sharing. I can relate because I've done the same thing. I have no intention of trying to moderate because I don't like to moderate. Once I get going I like to party. I made it through this weekend so tomorrow starts a new week. I told my friends I wasn't drinking. When they asked me why I just said "The drinking isn't working for me and I;m not enjoying it. I'm drinking too much". I didn't bother getting into the details and no one pressed me on it. I actually had a much better time being straight and I'm glad I didn't wake up with a hangover. So I'm almost finished 2 weeks. Then on to 3.

Thanks for all your support everyone. It helps a lot.

GTT

-- Edited by GoingToTry on Monday 28th of October 2013 01:55:05 PM

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Glad the weekend went well, GTT!

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

GTT,
That is GREAT news! So happy for you. That took an amazing amount of strength on your part. I had checked this posting different times over the weekend to see how you are doing and sounds like you are doing fine!
((((hugs)))))

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

betterthanyesterday52,

Thanks for checking in on me. Much appreciated. Everything is going well. I haven't smoked yet but I wasn't a full time smoker. I really just smoked when I drank. I guess the challenge is when you drink everyday you smoke everyday! So I was well on my way to becoming a full-time smoker as it was creeping into life when I wasn't drinking. I still haven't had a drink. My wife drinks almost daily but not a lot, a couple of beers. There is always beer here and my wine cabinet is pretty full so I'm gifting those or saving them for parties. I've realized I couldn't continue on my previous course of alcohol abuse and that becomes more evident by the day as I take stock in my previous behavior. That's easy to do as I find I uncover lot's of stashes when I'm cleaning. I thought I got them all but I was pretty good at it, so good in fact that it's like a treasure hunt! Kind of a waste when I come across them and I pour them out (Grey Goose, Jagermeister, Cold Shots, wine......I was an equal opportunity drinker!). A little shocking too, especially when it's like "oh shit...I don't remember that one\ jees, that's where I put that!". I think I've gotten them all now.

I must say though, I'm feeling a lot better and my head is clear. It's very positive not to wake hungover and full of anxiety.

RubyTues, thanks for the positive support.

GTT

-- Edited by GoingToTry on Tuesday 22nd of October 2013 02:49:27 PM

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

GTT,
Oh, that is so great!!! I just got back from an AA meeting and need to go get my smoothie and hot tea....that has become a ritual for me in the evenings after my meetings. I usually have that done by now but got to talking to an AA member after the meeting (for an hour and a half!) which is fine and I think we are helping one another. But really craving my smoothie. Just wanted to check and see if you posted anything about how your day went before I did that. I got a big grin on my face when I saw that you had and read how you are staying sober. I am so happy for you and you sound so optimistic and happy for yourself!

robbie0330 · Veteran Member

I dont know what you are going through. I do know that alcohol is a physical disease and once you quit, you shouldnt go back to it no matter what your cravings are. Life has a way of tricking you into thinking that your not enjoying yourself and with the drink it goes the same-regardless of how you feel at this time and no matter how much you think you need it believe me life is better without it. if you have made it 2 days your fine. im in the spot again where I cant just put it down. I've been waking up twitching and confused and I dont know who I am until I had a pint of vodka. Thats not a hell of alot of fun. but somtimes you need to dive into the abyss to see just how bad it really was and maybe just MAYBE thats whats happening to me now. I hope so because I would hate to die like this. This sucks beyond belieif and I know you have been here to. other wise why would you be here in the first place? My problem is that i Hate God and i cant let go of that. Maybe if I drink myself to death I can get back at him you know? thats not how you want to think. Thats how I think. Its a waste of time and you shouldnt go that route.

Im killing myself. you dont need to do that. you just need to hold on to what little sanity you have left and try to remember what matters to you. Life is short and you only get one shot at it. its not gta5 where you kill a bunch of cops go down in a hail of bullets and start all over again. Before you know it your dead. And thats whats stopping me from quitting. I HAVE NO HOPE LEFT. Dont Be Like Me. Be like you and get out of this fucking mess.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

robbie0330 wrote:
I dont know what you are going through. I do know that alcohol is a physical disease and once you quit, you shouldnt go back to it no matter what your cravings are. Life has a way of tricking you into thinking that your not enjoying yourself and with the drink it goes the same-regardless of how you feel at this time and no matter how much you think you need it believe me life is better without it. if you have made it 2 days your fine. im in the spot again where I cant just put it down. I've been waking up twitching and confused and I dont know who I am until I had a pint of vodka. Thats not a hell of alot of fun. but somtimes you need to dive into the abyss to see just how bad it really was and maybe just MAYBE thats whats happening to me now. I hope so because I would hate to die like this. This sucks beyond belieif and I know you have been here to. other wise why would you be here in the first place? My problem is that i Hate God and i cant let go of that. Maybe if I drink myself to death I can get back at him you know? thats not how you want to think. Thats how I think. Its a waste of time and you shouldnt go that route.
Im killing myself. you dont need to do that. you just need to hold on to what little sanity you have left and try to remember what matters to you. Life is short and you only get one shot at it. its not gta5 where you kill a bunch of cops go down in a hail of bullets and start all over again. Before you know it your dead. And thats whats stopping me from quitting. I HAVE NO HOPE LEFT. Dont Be Like Me. Be like you and get out of this fucking mess.

Welcome to MIP Robbie, ... We're glad you lasted long enough to get here ... ...

There IS HOPE Robbie ... you just have to feel it ... You certainly sound like you qualify to be here and to share your thoughts ... you do show some bit of wisdom in what you shared ... Why chose to stay in that 'frame of mind' ... God IS real and all you have to do is try talking to Him/Her and let the results of that action speak for itself ...

We/I cannot help ... if you refuse to let us in ... or a 'higher power' of your choosing ...

They tell me that the 'mind' is like a parachute ... ... ... it only works if it is open ...

Love ya man, join us in recovery, God Bless,

Pappy

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Hi Robbie,
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time...everyone on this board knows where you are coming from because we've been there. Maybe the map was a little different for each of us, but the destination was still the same and that is as long as we were drinking we were going "Nowhere". I think you know what you need to do to help yourself. You are not hopeless. I felt like that too just a few months ago. I wanted to die. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol and hated my life with alcohol. I tried to quit several times and kept quitting quitting. I was going No where. AA saved my life. But it didn't happen overnight, in a week, a month. I was feeling awful from detoxing and had symptoms like you described. The way I handled that anxiety, the shakes, etc. before was to drink.

I think it is interesting that you are trying to help GoingtoTry by giving advice when you are having trouble yourself. That says a lot about you that you care about others and don't want them to die of this disease, yet at the same time you said "I'm killing myself". Please try to love yourself and have the same concern for your own life. If you think you are getting even with God, I don't think it works that way. I think God is very sad when he sees you, GTT, me or anyone else slowly kill themselves with alcohol but no one is getting "even" with Him for choosing to drink. I was mad and blamed God for a lot of things that happened in my life, too. I even questioned there was a God. Now I believe in Him again, but that didn't happen until I was sober. I hope you keep going to your meetings as you mentioned on another post. I hope you keep posting on this board to let us know how you are doing. Maybe you and GTT can help each other. And I hope you keep the following quote in mind; it was posted by someone very special and who has a wonderful life in store for him.....

......"you just need to hold on to what little sanity you have left and try to remember what matters to you. Life is short and you only get one shot at it."

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

You were here before Robbie...I do remember you..I can't remember what name you were using.......There must be something here that gives you hope...Or you wouldn't have come back. Why not try these steps?.....It's a pretty simple choice we have.

If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort.

BB pg 25

I came pretty close to that bitter end Robbie...And I got out of it. Glad you're back. There is hope....And a solution for all of us.

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi Robbie,

Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. It took a huge amount of courage to do that and I sincerely appreciate your word of warning. It has left a deep impression with me and given me a lot to think about. That being said, let's focus on you because you're not hopeless. It may seem that way at the moment because this cycle of alcohol abuse is locking you in to a deep state of depression and anxiety. So what do you need? Do you need someone to chat with? I'm more than happy to give you my email and you can ping me and go from there. You've made an incredible effort to help me and so let me return the favor. no questions asked. As you can see from this discussion, I'm new to this but I'm making progress. I don't have all the answers but I'm sure as hell working hard to find them so join me and we'll get this figured out.

Hang in there Robbie.

All the best,

GTT

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

GoingToTry wrote:
Hi Robbie,
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. It took a huge amount of courage to do that and I sincerely appreciate your word of warning. It has left a deep impression with me and given me a lot to think about. That being said, let's focus on you because you're not hopeless. It may seem that way at the moment because this cycle of alcohol abuse is locking you in to a deep state of depression and anxiety. So what do you need? Do you need someone to chat with? I'm more than happy to give you my email and you can ping me and go from there. You've made an incredible effort to help me and so let me return the favor. no questions asked. As you can see from this discussion, I'm new to this but I'm making progress. I don't have all the answers but I'm sure as hell working hard to find them so join me and we'll get this figured out.
Hang in there Robbie.
All the best,

GTT

I gotta tell you GTT,

Your post is just wonderful and brought tears to my eyes!!!

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

Yeah GTT....It looks like some of this AA stuff might be rubbing off on you...
Be careful...You might come to like it!

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Stepchild wrote:
Yeah GTT....It looks like some of this AA stuff might be rubbing off on you...
Be careful...You might come to like it!

Yeah, Stepchild....I had to go back and read GTT's post again...it was just beautiful!

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Stepchild wrote:
Yeah GTT....It looks like some of this AA stuff might be rubbing off on you...
Be careful...You might come to like it!

You're a 'pearl' there Stepman ... you said what I wish I'd have said ... you beat me to it, LOL ...

Ditto what Stepman said there GTT ... ... ... your post was absolutely wonderful and it shows the 'caring' nature that has come to you through breaking down of some barriers ... Good job ... you are starting to sound like you're getting the hang of this ... I pray for your continued progress ... (note! ... we can PM anyone at anytime here at MIP ... please feel free to use this great option ...)

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

One alcoholic helping another alcoholic...
That's how the whole thing got started.

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi Robbie,

I have to tell you, your last post rattled me. I wasn't quite sure why and I really had to dig deep to try and figure it out. And after a lot of introspection and soul-searching I realized why I was so startled by it; 2 weeks ago it was me. You see Robbie, I'm feeling a lot better right now. It was really difficult at first, and like yourself, I had gotten to the point where I was drinking in the morning too. Then one day it had started early and I had been drinking quite a bit and was completely wasted. I was texting with the one person I shouldn't have been in that state of mind. The conversation went down hill quickly and before I knew it I was throwing away a relationship that had been, in reality, holding me together. Trust has never been easy for me, far from it. And to trust someone completely was next to impossible. So I did my best to take a match to it because I needed to protect myself. As far as I was concerned it was over. I woke up the next day, and much like yourself, I realized what I had done and I was literally paralyzed with fear. I managed to muster up the courage to text a "Hi" message in an effort to test the waters and, fortunately for me, she responded. I apologized for being, well you can imagine, and then she gave me the single greatest gift a person has ever given me. She forgave me and said "I love you". Just like that. Our relationship was too important to her and she said I needed to know I could trust her completely. And just like that she said "Forget about it. Let's move on." For the first time in my life I had experienced unconditional forgiveness, love, and trust. And that is why I quit drinking. That single act of unconditional forgiveness was the greatest gift I have ever received and it keeps me motivated to keep moving forward.

Robbie, that's exactly what I see is happening here right now. I didn't get it at first, but I see it now. These good people here are throwing you the same life-line as I was given such a short time ago. And while I thought I had pulled in the rope that I was extending I've realized it never went away and that it's more urgent than ever that you grab on and pull yourself out. I have complete faith that you can do this. You've had enough of this and it's time to come home. Just have faith in the truth there are people here that will help you carry yourself out this mess.

And to each and every one of you here that have supported me, so immediately and unconditionally, you have my sincere and heart-felt thanks for helping me to realize this important lesson. For that I am eternally grateful.

GTT

-- Edited by GoingToTry on Thursday 24th of October 2013 06:06:16 AM

robbie0330 · Veteran Member

I was drunk yesterday when I posted that... I feel pretty lame right now LOL. But yeah, im back to the booze again. I woke up feeling a little better than yesterday had 2 tall cans of old english which believe me is a rather unpleasent drink at 8 in the morning but I couldnt drink anymore of that potters vodka. I had to flush it. Im going back to bed. no more drinking today. I'll try to quit again tomorrow.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

I remember when you were here last time...You were talking that "Hate God" stuff. But you're back...So there has to be something here that attracts you. Maybe it's just seeing that it works for others...That was enough for me....Because what I was doing sure wasn't working. Doesn't sound like what you're doing is working to good either. You know if this stuff doesn't kill you first...There are quite a few people here that would love to share their experience with you....Drag you along so to speak....Or you can go your own way. But I'm glad you are back....I got your message....Sure I remember you.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

What Stepman said ... ... ...

Yeah Robbie, ... I know exactly what you're going through ... I used to get 1/2 a cup of coffee down then chase it with a couple drinks ... BEEN THERE, DONE THAT ... it's amazing I am still here ... many I know didn't make it ... ... ...

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

I am glad you came back Robbie and hope you keep coming back and consider going to AA. That's the only thing that was able to help me quit drinking. I was drinking my morning coffee and hitting the 7-11 b/4 9:00 a.m. a lot of mornings. The drinking didn't stop until night time and I usually just passed out in the bed...didn't even change into my p.j.'s or brush my teeth a lot of nights. (Yuck! and lucky dentist that sees me whenever I stop procrastinating and get my butt to one.)
But you are back and that is great. I was feeling a little sad today when I didn't see any postings from you and have been concerned. Hope you post again tomorrow and let us know how you are doing.
(And trying is all I can do, too..."one day at a time".)

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

and GTT...
I think you are pretty amazing for reaching out to Robbie like that you did!

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Ditto ... I do too !!!

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Good Morning GTT,
That's another great post to Robbie. You are helping me stay sober by your openness and kind words and I thank you for that.

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Good Morning, Robbie..
Just checking to see how your yesterday was and to wish you a happy Friday!

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi Robbie,

I hope all is well and you're holding your own. It's Friday night and it's a great time to be sober. Don't get caught up in the chaos and let us know how you're doing, regardless.

Betterthanyesterday52, I'm feeling much better than yesterday too! I haven't had anything to drink and I'm feeling better everyday. I appreciate the kind words and support. They keep me sober as well.

All the best

GTT

-- Edited by GoingToTry on Friday 25th of October 2013 10:10:50 PM

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey GTT, ... hope your stomach has stopped doing 'flips' by now and your mind has slowed down some ... it really does take a while ... I remembering it taking me about 2 to 3 months before I could sleep through the night ... Blessing to you and Robbie ...

God Bless,
Pappy

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Good Morning, GTT,
That is great to hear! I still have some mental "fuzziness" but then I always had to some degree or another :) Sounds like you are doing great!

robbie0330 · Veteran Member

Im still breathing.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

robbie0330 wrote:
Im still breathing.

That means there's still hope.

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Hey robbie0330...
Glad to see you are still posting. I used to want to be by myself when I was drinking....or isolating....and wish I had come to this board a long time ago. I don't think I would have felt nearly as alone as I did.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

You know robbie...If you ever feel like you just can't do it anymore...You might just want to try some of this AA stuff...That's what happened to me.

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

What stepchild said....same for me.

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi betterthanyesterday52,

I'm doing well, thank you for asking! 21 days and I'm feeling much better than before. I feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders in a way. It was hard work drinking all of the time and tougher still hiding it. I didn't realize how much energy it took. I do have times when I think "It would be nice to sit and have a glass of wine/ beer....." but I work through the experience to the end result and I don't like the outcome. I know full well I'll have more than 1 glass, and more likely try to make up for lost time. I don't wrestle with the idea though. I say "Ok, sit and have a glass of wine...but what next? Will you have another? Yep! And another......." and I know exactly where I'll end up. As soon as I start feeling that way I head right for the fridge and grab a Perrier or a glass of water or 2. I've come to realize that I was actually just thirsty but associations make for powerful triggers (it doesn't help when my wife is sitting in front of me chugging an ice-cold beer). After I finish my Perrier I find I don't think about having a drink at all. I haven't smoked either, although the non-smoking has made for some TENSE moments (actually ballistic would be more appropriate). But I think I'm over the worst of it, smoking that is.

I will say one thing, I really appreciate your thoughts betterthanyesterday52. It's an anchor to know there are people in my corner because this isn't an easy process. It took 30 years to get here so change doesn't happen over night. Actually, it started long before I started drinking, growing up in the household I did (my parents drank a lot) and there's a lot of "loose marbles" rattling around up there. But today is a new day and I'm happy to feel alive, and I'm starting to like me more as a non-drinker than a participant.

Robbie, send me a personal email to chat. You're still breathing right? Well that's all you need to start! Just take in a deep breath and kick open the door. You have so much more support than you can possibly imagine or realize at this moment. Just hang in there.

Thanks again betterthanyesterday52 and all here for your support. It's made all the difference.

GTT

-- Edited by GoingToTry on Monday 28th of October 2013 03:35:30 PM

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Good morning, GTT and robbie0330,
Hope you both had a good weekend and have a great day today!

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Hi GTT,
You sound so great! I was trying to figure out how many days you were at and I was close. 21! You are almost at a month. One thing that really has helped me is getting a chip at an AA meeting when I reached certain "milestones". In a week you can pick up your 30 day chip. I love my chips and they symbolize a major accomplishment in my life--staying sober! That is something I never ever thought I would be able to do again is to be sober just one day! You are right it isn't easy. You have helped me stay sober because I haven't been so preoccupied with myself and have been concerned about you and then Robbie came along on this board and everyday I check and see if you or him have posted. So thank you for helping me!!!!

-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Monday 28th of October 2013 07:45:28 PM

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey GTT, ... yep, you're thinking it through correctly, way to go ... ... ... for me ??? ... 1 was too many, and a 100 wasn't enough ...

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

robbie0330....I am so sorry. It is never too late and please don't give up hope. I am new at this myself and it took me several tries and lots of drinks before I finally stopped drinking. And I have to take each day at a time, as I know something could happen which will cause me to start drinking again. I didn't think I had any strength at all to stop and I am still amazed that I was able to. It does suck and it is hard to do on your own. I couldn't. I finally drug my butt into an AA meeting, picked up a white chip (not my first one) and went to a meetings. You sound like you really and truly want to stop drinking but have yourself convinced you can't. That is what I felt, and what most all alcoholics feel. It is that form of thinking that keeps us suckered into believing we are powerless and the alcohol has won its battle over us and we give in and give up to it. I hope you don't let this poison win over you. It takes a lot of courage to come to this board, like you have, and admit you have an issue with alcohol. That is a great start. Even if you do only that for now, perhaps it will be the bridge you need to get to where you feel you are ready to stop drinking. I have found for me, reading the posts about others who have been sober and sound so happy and are willing to share how they are staying sober has helped me so much. Also, reading posts like GTT's and yours has helped me. Like I said I am fairly new at all this myself, and I never want to forget what it was like that first day to actually stop drinking. I had reached the point where I felt like I had lost the battle and thought my only destiny was to drink myself to death. I didn't see any way out and was just where you are today. If I can change, so can you. Please don't give up, Robbie. And thank you so much for posting.

Did you ever contact GTT? I know he was willing to talk with you.

-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Wednesday 30th of October 2013 07:13:11 AM

robbie0330 · Veteran Member

Yeah, listen please. Im back to it again and i dont know how to stop. its fucked all over again and it sucks. thanks.

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi all,

I just thought I would check in.....I haven't had a drink or a smoke and I am enjoying this daily journey of self-discovery and not drinking. Almost a month now. I find preparing for situations ahead of time really helps to keep me anchored and not drinking. The next few weeks will be a test as I'm taking some time off to travel for some R&R and I will be surrounded by drinking and merriment on many occasions. In a humorous way I keep having this recurring flash from the movie "300" when Leonidas says "Immortals....we'll put that name to the test". I find it quite funny that I prepare for a "me vs them" encounter when, in reality, no one really cares if I drink and, if they do, well too f@%king bad for them. It just helps to place myself in a position of power mentally, if that makes sense, as it re-enforces my determination and resolve. That way I can relax with a sense of control. "Preparation through visualization" is a strategy that is working for me (actually that has a nice ring to it! I feel a tee-shirt coming on biggrin ).

I haven't managed to get to an AA meeting yet, not that I don't think there is benefit to attending. Perhaps when I return from my trip. One thing I will tell you, I won't drink. Drinking when traveling, for business or pleasure, has been a huge trigger for me, probably more than any other, as I have the freedom to do what I want without the family. I'm looking forward to embracing the challenge and enjoying every second of it.

Peace

GTT

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

GoingToTry wrote:
It just helps to place myself in a position of power mentally, if that makes sense,

To me it doesn't...If I could have quit entirely on my own...I wouldn't be here. Lack of power was my problem. Now I have that power. You may not need AA GTT...The nice thing is...If you ever do....You know where to find it.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

PS...Congrats on your upcoming month!....That's awesome!!

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey GTT, ... just don't let the idea that you 'need' a drink to relax, take over your thinking ... think, maybe I'll drink tomorrow, just not today ... and if you're around those that can enjoy drinking, then simply sit back and 'watch the show' ... LOL ... drunks can be mean and nasty ... they can also be hilarious 'til they get soooo sick they can't stand up any longer ...

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Thanks Stepchild, all good points and thanks for the support.

Pappy, I agree 100%. One thing I pay close attention to is that type of thinking. I've come across it a couple of times where I started to think "I'd really enjoy having a glass a wine...this is kind of crazy really..." and it sets off some alarm bells because, as you said, 1 is not enough.........

Thanks for your support! It's sincerely appreciated.

Peace GTT

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

Hi GTT,
I get those thoughts too and rethink it to "Well, maybe I'd like to have a glass of poison today." Seems to work for me and that is what the stuff is for me.

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Hi,

I just thought I would check in and let you guys know I hadn't dropped off the planet and fallen into a giant vat of consumables.........I'm on the road traveling on my R&R (Spain). I didn't realize it until I checked the date on my calendar but the odometer just rolled over a month since I first posted. Vacation's are interesting. I've had my moments where I thought, "It seems a bit of a waste not to party a bit while I'm away here....." but I work through it and put it out of my mind. I've been reading through some recent posts and that's enough to top up my resolve. Anyway, it's all good.

Life is good. I hope everyone is finding the same.

All the best,

GTT

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Glad you're doing well, GTT. Spain is one of my favourite places. I haven't been on a vacation since I've stopped drinking. It will have to look much different than it used to!

betterthanyesterday52 · MIP Old Timer

You are doing so great GTT, and thanks for posting!!!

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Well, so ends my holidays abroad and I didn't have a single drink! I thought about it a couple of times as it seemed kind of silly not to enjoy a drink in such interesting locations but I didn't cave and I'm glad I didn't because I feel a lot better for it. It gives me lot's of ammo for the coming holiday season as well. My next goal (this week) is to really focus on my diet and my health as I haven't smoked since I quit and I want to maintain my momentum. Time to remove sugar, which should be interesting because it's in bloody everything!

I hope everyone is doing well and keeping a balanced peace of mind.

All the best.

GTT

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Don't remember your sober time right now, but if it hasn't been very long, removing sugar may 'amplify' any cravings you get ... I was told to carry candy with me for a few months to stave off the cravings ... just sayin' ... don't try to change too much to quickly ... take your time ...

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

We shall see.........

Thanks for the warning.

Peace GTT

GoingToTry · Veteran Member

Well, I had my 50th birthday last night and my friends and family came over to celebrate. There was quite a bit of drinking and more than a few of my guests got completely hammered out of their faces. Earlier in the day I was tasked with picking up the alcohol for the night and picked up a case of wine and 5 cases of beer. It doesn't bother me at all to go to the liquor or beer stores. It was quite a nice party and I felt no pressure to drink ( I was the only one not to drink) as I worked through it ahead of time in my mind that I would remain sober. So I still haven't had a drink in almost 2 months (or a smoke!) and I've worked through some tough situations. I still haven't attended an AA meeting and I'm not sure I will at this point as I feel pretty comfortable working through this on my own.

I just want to thank everyone for their ongoing support.

All the best

GTT

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Hey, GTT. Happy birthday! It must have been very nice to wake up this morning with no hangover. I'm glad it's going well.

I'm just going to share my experience: I stopped drinking on my own a number of times for one month, two months. Around 2 months I would start to feel really great and I would forget what it had been like. My brain would convince me I could become a social drinker because I had proven I could not drink. So, something to watch out for. The only lasting sobriety I have had has been through AA. Either way, you know it's there if you decide to check it out.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Yeah, ... Happy Birthday GTT ... proud of you for not getting caught up in the celebration, with drink anyway ... WOW ... I could do that today without a problem, but not just 2 months in ... I'm impressed, but I've know many others, including myself, that tried that and failed miserably ... Like RubyT said, you know where to find us if you think you have a problem ... we're here to help each other, that's our primary goal ...

God Bless,
Pappy