First Timer...

CaitKelly · Newbie

First Timer...

2granddaughters · Senior Member

Hello and WELCOME !!

I can identify with your steady slide downhill in alcoholism .. your story sounds like mine.

Your aunt is right but you'll get to that shortly. Have you attended AA meetings in the past?

A lot of great folks here... decades, no , CENTURIES of sobriety and you'll get the right "scoop".

Please Google and read "AA How It Works". Everything you will need is on that 1 page.

All the best.

Bob R

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP Caitlyn, ... You're in the right place to begin your sober journey ...

You've worked step one now that you've admitted that you're an alcoholic ... just be sure that you understand that you are POWERLESS over alcohol ... this is important ... and all you have to do is NOT drink today ... can you go one day without it ??? ... ... ... ya see, for me, I would quit for a few days, weeks, or even a month or two by going to AA ... I thought 'okay, I got this thing' ... BUT, I found out that there's a little more to it than that ... I thought I could learn to 'control' my drinking too ... but I learned that just one drink is too many, cause it leads to another and another and so on ...

The decision you made to come here is a great one, but you desperately need to get to an AA meeting and 'listen' to them ... you do not have to share, just listen for the first few meetings ... AA is a 12 step program that teaches us a spiritual solution for our sickness ... NO religious stuff ... just spiritual ... it becomes a 'way of life' and a darn good one ... soon you'll not even miss the alcohol ... and we'll teach you how ...

Love you and God Bless,
Pappy

RubyTues · MIP Old Timer

Caitlyn, I identified with a lot of what you wrote. I tried to do it myself for a long time, and eventually I realized I couldn't do it by myself, no matter how stubborn I was! Walking into your first AA meeting is scary, but honestly, for me it was such a relief just to hear people talking who had been through some of the same stuff that I had. The first meeting I went to was a women's meeting. Please keep posting here and if you have any questions or anything feel free to private message me or others as well.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Caitlyn and welcome from the Pacific. There isn't a location on the face of this planet where there isn't alcoholism. Good news is its about disease and not a moral issue. It is a complusion of the mind with an allergy of the body which develope into obsession, addiction, insanity and death. So you're sick...not bad. It owns you and you are powerless over it owning you. Been there, done that, don't do that anymore. I am a long time sober member of the world wide fellowship of alcoholics anonymous and we always have more chairs available in our meetings for newbies to sit, listen, learn and practice the program. Don't start loading on yourself cause you already have found out that when we feel bad about ourselves we try to arrest the feelings with our anesthetic alcohol and we get progressively worse. So you are following thru on your responsibility to take care of your problem and we are saying we can and will help you do that. AA and MIP and you and you've got a good start. I was also genetically predisposed to alcoholism and I didn't choose either that or my family of origin. What I have chosen is to get and stay sober. You are not alone you can do this also. ((((hugs)))) smile

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Welcome! I can identify with all of this. It sounds like my story. I am happy to see you reaching out for help. Here you can learn coping mechanisms to life's problem OTHER than drinking. It was true for me too - my only go to was drinking. And how insane is that when you're allergic to alcohol. I could resist being around pollen I was allergic to, but somehow the mental twist of this disease told me that even though I was allergic to alcohol, it would still be a good idea to drink it. Time and time again - with evidence to prove otherwise. It was insanity. With the help of the program and 12 steps - I was restored to sanity - and simply can say now "no thanks, I'm allergic", like a sane person would say who's allergic to something.

I hope you continue your adventure in recovery and make the most of MIP - it has been a true life saver for me. Good people here.

Keep coming back!

CaitKelly · Newbie

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. I have more faith in humanity after reading total strangers support. I haven't been to an AA meeting in the past, I keep hearing it is the best place to go, but like I said I am nervous about it, the whole shame thing. Again, thank you everyone for your support and well wishes, I feel really good about this, this time. :)

Sober Strummer · Senior Member

Welcome aboard!

There is much to read and learn if you care to.

Hope to see you here regularly :)

mikef · MIP Old Timer

WELCOME TO MIP smile smile

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

Hi CaitKelly, You mentioned that your aunt is a member of AA. Does she live near you? Would it make you more comfortable to maybe go to your first meeting with her?

In any case, I do understand what it's like to walk into those first meetings. We all do. But I can assure you that the folks in the meeting are there for the same reason you are there, to get some help figuring out how to not drink today. Think of the AA meeting as a life boat, and think of your drinking as a ship that's going down... There is no shame in swimming to that lifeboat, and there are other people there who have already made it into the boat, ready to help pull you to safety.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

CaitKelly wrote:
I haven't been to an AA meeting in the past, I keep hearing it is the best place to go, but like I said I am nervous about it, the whole shame thing.

Welcome to MIP Caitlyn...I don't think there is a person in AA that wasn't nervous about their first meeting....For myself...It wasn't so much that I was nervous...I think terrified was a better word. It was the first time I had faced the fact honestly...That I was an alcoholic....And I couldn't beat this problem by myself. I gave up the fight. I needed help.

This is a really good look at a first meeting written not by an AA member...But by a psychiatrist. I found it very well done. It answers a lot of questions...Give it a read. Any other questions you have....These fine folks here will be more than glad to help you with them....Myself included.

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/First_AA_Meeting.html

The program of AA is in the Big Book....The directions are contained in The Doctors Opinion and the first 103 pages....I saw myself in this book...And following those directions with someone to guide me...Not only saved my life....But gave me a new life that I didn't think was possible. Here it is online.

http://anonpress.org/bb/

I'm glad you are here Caitlyn....This could be the best decision you will make in your lifetime....I know it was for me.

gonee · MIP Old Timer

Welcome.

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Welcome! Glad to have you here with us!

missyj · Veteran Member

Caitlyn, it is really scary to go to your first meeting. My first one, I was shaking in fear. I went early, sat in my car, and made every excuse in the world not to go in. Eventually, I saw a woman who looked just as nervous as I felt, and followed her. Do this. Go early. Take a cup of coffee so you have something to do with our hands. Find an old lady (there will be some there) and tell her it's your very first meeting. She will tell you what to do and make you feel less uncomfortable.

You don't have to say anything at all in the meeting. I cried the whole way through my first one, and when they asked me to share, I passed. Nobody blinked an eye. After the meeting, lots of people stayed to tell me how they got to where they are now, good meetings that they attend, and they'll give you a newcomer packet with booklets and info on meetings in your area. They will also give you their numbers to call them if you want to drink.

Just go the one time. Try it. Every single person in the room will be *just* like you. I promise.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

What a great post missyj....I love it.

missyj · Veteran Member

Stepchild wrote:
What a great post missyj....I love it.

Thanks!

If it makes you feel better, in my first meeting, the following people were there: a biker guy who got his ass kicked while drunk when he hopped the fence in a zoo to pet a kangaroo (I swear), a guy who had his Christmas tree up in July, no needles but the lights still on b/c it was less depressing, a man whose brother died while drinking, an elderly lady who had prostituted herself, a woman who ended up almost dead in a hotel room, a mom who had been supermom but addicted to gin and took it to the school to volunteer for her child's class, two college girls who wouldn't share, a couple of people who were there because the courts forced them to go, a lady who had been sexually abused, and a mother/son duo.

No matter who you are, what your story is, you will be accepted, welcomed, and not judged. People in AA are the most accepting, kind, and non-judgemental people I have ever met. They are like you. Just like you.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

missyj wrote:

No matter who you are, what your story is, you will be accepted, welcomed, and not judged. People in AA are the most accepting, kind, and non-judgemental people I have ever met. They are like you. Just like you.

Sounds like a pretty good group you got there...None of us come into AA on a winning streak....You know? What you say here....I couldn't agree with you more.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Sounds like this group is from around here ... Missyj, you just described the members to a Tee ... ... ... except for the guy who dressed up one Halloween, as a woman, went to a costume party, got drunk, and got arrested for DUI, ... his admission during a meeting was absolutely 'fall and roll on the floor laughing funny' ... ... ... ... (that meeting was 3 years ago and I could never get his share out of my mind ... I have often referred back to his share for a few laughs ... AND he's still with us and has several years sober now ...) ... thanks ...

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hi Caitlyn and welcome to the board. There is no shame in having the disease of alcoholism. Generally it's a family disease, like diabetes, and is mulitgenerational. You can save yourself a lot of pain, misery, anguish, further losses or self esteem, health, freedom, and a lot of great life changing opportunities if you take a year now to get and learn how to stay sober. I highly recommend opening a dialog with your Sober Aunt and let her tell you how she got sober. Meetings are nothing to be nervous about. They are full of the same people that you liked to party with. We still have a lot of fun, enjoy life to the fullest, we just found a way to do all of that without Having to drink. But, like getting your college degree, this isn't a weekend seminar. It takes dedication, work, and commitment. It has to be your #1 priority and be at the front of all of your decision making...ie "will this decision take me closer to sobriety or further away?" Take time out now and get a handle on this and watch your life evolve in ways that you haven't even imagined. Get busy with it.

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Well put Dean! smile

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Excellent share Dean ... a big AMEN to that!!!

Mike D · MIP Old Timer

Hi Caitlyn! Welcome to a beautiful new life. I just want you to know that it's all here for the taking, if you want it. Well, as you can see by all the kind responses you've gotten after your posting, you are definitely NOT the only one who has suffered what you're going through. We've all been in your situation before....but we are no longer suffering -- we're living good lives now. So can you! I hope you'll find some A.A. meetings in your area and go to lots of different ones. In between meetings you can share on this forum and you'll quickly find that everyone here is as willing to help as in all the face-to-face meetings you'll attend. If you're new, you'll find that A.A. members are very generous and kind. That's because we were given so much generosity and kindness when we were new. If you go to meetings, get a woman to sponsor you, and work the 12 Steps, you'll have a great life ahead of you. Blessings to you, Mike D.