Boy meets girl on AA campus is a analogy in the AA Big Book, which points out that rarely does early recovery love relationships work out... here is why, I call it my version of Step 13.
Boy; "She looked at me from across the hallway before the meetings started, I think she wants my body!"
Friend; "have you looked at yourself lately? Think she is really that sick?"
Boy walks over to meet girl after the meetings were over; "I saw you looking at me across the hallway and thought I would introduce myself"
Girl: How long you been in AA?"
Boy: "A pretty good while now... I think today is day 32." (A smile of pride sweeps across his face.)
Boy: How long you been in Al-Anon?"
Girl: Moving her hair back with a sweep of her head in one direction, replies; "I started working on becoming an independent, empowered woman about 6 weeks ago. I go to 3 meetings a week, and take the city bus to them all by myself. I'm not nearly as needy as I once was!"
They stand there, looking at each other with googly eyes.
Boy; "I live in a half way house, we have a curfew, and have to make a bunch more meetings than any one really needs, I'm pretty sick of it. I just got a part time job at McD's and with my first paycheck I'm going to buy me a bicycle. I'm so tired of walking and taking the bus all over the place". My therapist says I am doing really good and we'll continue working on my mommy issues until they are resolved, and while it will be a long recovery process I will get to live a much more fulfilling life soon. I think my meeting you today is a sign from our Higher Power! I get 10% off on meals at McD's, would you like to go out for a hamburger with me when I get my check, but after I buy my bicycle?
Girl: Wow, are you for real? You'd want to take me out?? Oh my gosh, I am so surprised that someone of your caliber would even talk to someone like me, and even do it in front of his AA buddies! Sure, I'd love to go out for a hamburger with you, I can ride with you on your handle bars, and we'll share a hamburger, no need to spend a bunch of money on me, besides I don't eat very much because I tend to vomit after I eat so it would be a waste of your money!
Boy: okay, where do you live so I can pick you up right after I buy my bicycle?
Girl: I can't tell you, we aren't allowed to have visitors there, and not suppose to let any one know its address. It's a battered woman's shelter. Police took me there after they realized I suffer from battered woman's syndrome and was threatening to kill the next man that touched me. I can meet you down the street on Elm, at Wings N Things BBQ, then we can go from there to McD's.
Boy: Okay, it sounds like a plan! We'll hook up there, and go to McD's, then on a serious note, talk about getting out of our current situations and finding a place together. What do you think?
Girl: Sounds like a blessing in disguise! I agree, our HP brought us together today! By the way, I'm getting my drivers license this week, so we'll be able to get a uhaul when the time comes. I have so little that it will sit in the front seat of the u-haul and we can use the whole back part of it for your new bicycle!
They both smile at each other in such a way that they know it was meant to be... they hug each other with that special warm, cozy feeling generating between them, and head back to their dwellings knowing they have found the love of their live's.
A month later...
Boy thinks... "I'm not letting her ride on my handle bars any more, she is going to make me wreck my bicycle!"
Girl thinks... "When we get a place, my name is going to be the only name on the lease, I won't get kicked out again by another jackass!
At a dinner together that night...
Boy; I truly feel like we were meant to be together forever and forever, so I wanted to ask you... ah, well... will you marry me?"
Girl: Tears swell up in her eyes, "I didn't think any one would ever ask me that... of course I'd marry you. We'll start making plans as soon as we have our own place!
They smile, lean across the table to hug each other, knowing that this is truly a gift from God.
(hehehehe)
(I wrote this on the Al-Anon board just a few weeks ago, so tonight thought I would share it here... hope you enjoyed it.)
Ya know John, and I'm quite sure you seen the same, I've observed very similar scenarios like this one in the meetings I attend ... ... ... Most do NOT end well ... But I will have to admit also, that there those rare instances where those with a few years under their belt DO, in fact marry, and spend years together supporting each others sobriety ...
We have a 'STRONG' suggestion here that newcomers stay away from any 'relationships' for at least the 1st year ... then when they have attained some amount of 'emotional stability' then seek a life companion ... I know that most other groups around have the same recommendation ... seems experience has taught us that this is simply a 'common sense approach ...
Thanks for the post
How's your sister? ... I pray she is not suffering ... God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
My---
How strangely familiar some of the story fits into my story.
Gave me the willies as I read and saw me there.
Grateful for progress ------ Not perfection.
Toad ( All smiles)
Someone once told me that when people told you they were just 'fine' ... it really meant Frustrated -Insecure - Neurotic - and Emotionally unstable ... Hope that's not your case ... I know it sounds corny, but I always tell people that I'm Great, OR that I'm Better Than I Deserve ... if I ain't, then I keep telling myself I am until I come to believe it and make it so ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
You're welcome! When I saw the first post in this thread it reminded me of an aa/alanon-related joke I heard. I wasn't sure if I should post it since it's a little....dark. Oh what the heck:
It may be less offensive if I keep it gender-neutral...
The greeter at the meeting sees a very attractive person approaching the meeting and says "Hi! I've never seen you here before. Are you new?"
And the new person says "Yeah, my first meeting. I just got out of prison".
The greeter says "Oh? What were you in prison for?"
The new person says "Well, I kinda, you know, chopped up my ex into little pieces and buried the remains in the back yard".
And the greeter smiles and says "Oh.... so you're single?"
When I forst came in she would have been my dream girl, and the whole deal would have been my ideal relationship. You don't know what you don't know. I was NOT in a frame of mind where I could be told anything about relationships (about which I knew nothing BTW). Luckily,when I jumped into exactly that scenario, my sponsor let me learn what I needed to learn. Among other things I learned it was wrong for me, what needed to be done about the resulting resentments, and also that I didn't need to drink over it. One of the best experiences of my sobriety.
'Attila the Hun' huh? ... ... ... I always wondered what it is that gave women this 'power' over men ... and I have recently discovered that it has very little to do with 'personality' ... LOL ...
Okay, I just realized I'm about to dig myself a deep hole here and think it wise to just shut up ... LOL ... Mr David, you dirty rascal, you baited me and knew I bite, didn't you ... well, I'm not swallowing this 'hook, line, and sinker', ... no, not this time ... LOL
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
