((((nezby)))) I like it...that part of the journey and those gifted people who can teach me to defuse chronic anger. Re-programming is what I'd call where you are at right now and we can do that. Some of the fellowship here locally are working on that part of re-programming the sub-conscious so that what we are learing and doing; our program of recovery becomes he default and every other response come in second if it comes in at all. I practice constantly defusing anger. Currently I am practicing defusing it even when it is not there. Some parts are empathy and compassion and those parts include others outside of myself while gentleness, quiet, patience, slowness and the like are for me alone. I can incorporate those into my character outside of my behaviors with others and also if I am with others. Another bar against anger is humor. Another behavioral characteristic is smiling which I have been duplicating from another of our members.
I want to hear more of this from you because this is, again for me, what the program speaks of as Peace of mind and serenity.
Mahalo for the share of your growth.
By the way...the use of anger is a choice...don't let it be a subconscious one.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 4th of September 2013 01:50:03 AM
AA has led me on a spiritual journey, in search of a greater understanding of who I am and what my core values and beliefs are. Currently I am reading a book entitled "My Spiritual Journey", by the Dalai Lama. All of my life I've heard and read many of his quotes and affirmations, and when I saw this book available at my library, I checked it out. In the book, there is a chapter , "The Power of Compassion". The following is in part what it says:
"Anger and hatred are the main obstacles to compassion. These powerful emotions have the ability to overwhelm the mind completely, but we can sometimes control them. If we don't master them, they constantly torment us, preventing us from attaining the serenity that characterizes a loving mind. It is good to ask yourself first of all whether or not anger has any value. Sometimes, when we're overcome with discouragement and faced with a difficult situation, anger seems to bring an extra amount of energy, confidence and determination. That is when it is good to examine our state of mind carefully. Although it is true that anger confers a certain energy, when we observe it, we discover that it is blind. It is impossible to determine if it's result will be positive or negative, because anger clouds the best part of the brain, reason. That is why the energy of anger should be subject to caution. It can inspire behavior that is terribly destructive and unfortunate. When it is pushed to it's extreme, anger can make people crazy, to the point where they act to their own and other's detriment"
I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but it really spoke to me. I am trying to learn not to act, speak, or react out of anger anymore. He goes on to say:
"We can still develop an energy that's just as strong, but much better controlled than anger, in order to confront difficult circumstances. This controlled energy comes from both a compassioniate attitude and from reason, combined with patience. These are very effective antidotes against anger. Unfortunately, many people scorn these qualities, likening tham to weakness....Compassion is by nature kind, peaceful and gentle, while still being very powerful."
Yes, please. I want to learn to be patient, kind, peaceful, and gentle, while still being very powerful. Need to do some 7th step work here.
Thanks for being part of the journey. Peace
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
During my spiritual journey, I have learned, over time, that anger doesn't have to be given room in my tiny little brain to grow and fester like an abscessed splinter under my skin ... left untreated, it can kill ...
My wife had a lot to do with helping me practice the principles of our program LOL ... ... ... after 40 years with her, she STILL to this day, does little things she knows gets under my skin, but today, it doesn't bother me ... cause I have, and use, the tools I have picked up in the program ... she has some bad habits that used to make me go 'ballistic' ... she leave the lights on in her closet every time she goes in it, I've learned to go turn them off after she leaves ... she does not screw lids on things used out of the frig, which I have often pulled out and 'shaken' before using, only to wind up cleaning the entire kitchen after the contents have splattered all over everything ... she leaves many things turned on all over tha house, including the stove top gas burners ... and she uses the knives I try so hard to keep razor sharp for uses that knives are not made for and I beg her to use the proper instrument ... she loads the dishwasher every time with the eating utensils upside down, from factory directions, which leaves food particles on the tips you want to eat from ... and the list goes on and on ...
I have learned that getting angry does not even come close to solving these problems ... but what I have learned, is that if I accept that 'she will never change', then I can go behind her and fix or make right, all of these situations ... so I have to constantly be sharpening knives and such, big deal ... anger never solved how they got dull in the first place, even though it's avoidable, LOL ... and I think it was Tasha that mentioned her continued use of the Serenity Prayer that's helped her avoid 'anger' ... I do the same ...
ANGER, justified or not, is poison to me just like the drink ... ... ...
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks Nezyb,,,,,blessings of this day,,,,,MLK said' I decided to choose love, hate is too much of a burden" and like Roger says Anger is a poison just like the drink,for me also.....Good seeing you..
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Thanks for stopping by Nezyb...Can't help but think this sounds a lot like step 10.
This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.
I was facinated while in doing my fifth step with my sponsor how much of the anger I held was fear based. I have to ask for God's help taking care of such things at once. The things we learn about ourselves on this journey.
Thanks Kelly for a wonderful perspective on anger. I love reading this sort of material as it deepens my understanding of such things, but I have always found on a personal level, that I am not very effective at bringing about these sort of changes under my own steam.
Rather, they seem to be the natural by-product of following the core principles of the program expressed thus: "Trust God, clean house, and help others". I am afraid the only step seven work I have done is to ask Him. Though willing, I have left Him to do all the work.
