A few recent posts here and events at work and home got me thinking.
It feels to me like this new life, with my Higher Power and step guide for living, comes in layers.
baby steps at work, gradual moves up, all with AA principles providing the power for them
better relationships with wife, daughter, friends, co workers
and finally, a better relationship with me. Funny how that one and how I am with my HP are a mirror.
It feels like flying in a plane taking off. Going through a layer of clouds. Not so sure of how it all is happening. At times it is like being in the gray murky cloud. or maybe the thick gooey body of a stack of Waffle House Flapjacks!... then... Out into the sunshine. Out into the open.
I can recall certain year marks in sobriety that seemed big. At a year I felt happy, proud, but very much like I had so far too go... At 5 years I looked back at how I thought at one year, and that was proof positive God exists. Because as crazy as I was, to stay sober was a miracle. 10 seemed like maybe I am getting better. At 15 some major ordeals in life were survived Sober.
Now at 18 years I am learning about ACOA. It is another tool in the box, if you will.
And again, my God has new things, wonderful things out there for me. It is amazing really when you think about it. What kind of mercy and love looked at this wreck of a life and laid out something so wonderful to unfold.
just another layer of clouds parting, and a different view of God and my life...
Gratitude.
I hope everyone has a nice safe long weekend.
Peace
-- Edited by Sober Strummer on Saturday 31st of August 2013 06:36:14 AM
__________________
"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
SS ...nice post one in part I relate to metaphoically and expierementally...Got the pilots license and learned about the take offs and the climbs thru weather...the flying by instruments because there was no vision available only very very white or dark and bumpy. It can get crazy and then clear all by itself because of course I'm powerless over the weather too. Clear weather flying is a pleasure...break off the ground get to where you want to be above it all and sit back and enjoy...the works when you've worked it. Flying the adverse conditions is the "working it" the using the lessons and the tools...back and forth thru the steps and then back and forth again. Taking off and getting thru it is a reminder that you most likely have to come back thru it to get to terra firma if the weather is long and wide. It can be worse than that especially if you broke the rule and flew after drinking and was distracted by what your aircraft can do to you with all those lights and dials and radios and needles and whatever and after all of that theres the really powerless stuff the true abided by God events like the one I had one night ferrying my wife back home when the wing stobes caused the "metronome affect of the propeller" and being put into the hypnotic state and brought out of it by a tower worker calling over my radio and giving me permission to continue on and return to original altitude. She was the instrument of God that night as I was in a very steep dive blacked out. Layers for sure and thank God for the layers and the practice with the layers. This alcoholic pilot use to make very irrational choices usually and in a plane life would and could go from unusual to abnormal easily. I lived with an arrogant "I can...because I can" attitude and ego and I'm very grateful my HP directed me to the doors of recovery. I've always known there was a power greater than myself and anyone else out there around me. My God has given me hands on, face to face, mano a mano consultation because that is what HP knew and then I found out I needed.
I haven't flown an airplane for many years now and still remember how...The first step is find out if the airplane is airworthy the next step is being honest about if the pilot is. The third step is always have God as your co-pilot...always.
Congradulations on the time and the effort and the great consequences. You're right about the presence of mercy and margin (that space that HP gives us to operate in without banging ourselves up too badly). I got my share and more when I was flying and so did those who flew with me.
What a great testimony Jerry. That had the power of authenticity. I was a helmsman at sea when in the Navy. Never flew a plane. I can relate to the weather. Been thru a few hurricanes at sea. Days of 30' swells. It wears on you. Never thought of that as a recovery illustration. Thanks for opening that door of thinking.
It's is exactly what I like about identifying with instead of comparing to. In my early days of comparing, I would have thought who is better, now I see how our respective faiths have grown in similar ways, thru similar experiences, to a common end... A new life in sobriety. It is great to be able to relate to that.
Thanks for taking the time to share.
Peace
__________________
"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
I haven't flown an airplane for many years now and still remember how...The first step is find out if the airplane is airworthy the next step is being honest about if the pilot is. The third step is always have God as your co-pilot...always.
1st of all, thanks Joe for your share ... it's always good to see how others came to AA and then came to believe ...
Jerry, ... just to poke fun at you, I heard it said once that if we are to reach our intended destination, then I had to stop using God as my 'co-pilot' ... ... ... I needed to move over and let Him be the Pilot ... ... ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Pap and Bob I know the picture you're painting however I know for sure that the FAA doesn't have a license in God's name. If I ever tried to explain a mishap with "God did it" they wouldn't have a copy of mine either. I had an instructor who violated every emergency rule he ever taught me which resulted in the total loss of the plane he was flying to a crash and fire and the saving of the 7 lives on board...some of which he carried off the plane with a broken right ankle from forcing "opposite rudder" so that he could crash land the plane in an absolutely impossible place and distance. I went to see him in the hospital and I told him that he looked like he lost a 3 rounder to Ali who he tried to beat with his chin only. He was a mess and he looked at me and said "I broke the rule several times". The rule was never stall the aircraft in an emergency decent you'll be trying to fly a rock. He stalled the airplane three times to keep it out of a tree and each time he did it properly...in a way that caused the aircraft to just miss the tree. I had gone to see the site he literally dropped the aircraft into and thought "well done". He was apologizing for breaking a rule which resulted in the ongoing lives of his charter and I gave him grace. "If it ever comes to me I pray to remember just how you did it". I would never have to face the emergency of loosing an engine on take off and departure...I shudder thinking of it even thru the filter of my own emergencies. Sometimes after an inventory of the chaos the insanity of the situation appears very lucid...very rational. I believe that his HP was dual control with him considering the outcome. I love this guy and liked him alot. For me he was the best and most experienced. He was honest as hell too...On one dual long distance training flight he leaned over so that I could hear him clearly..."You know...sometimes your piloting scares me". LOL and I've never stalled an aircraft in emergency decent. Keep coming back ...we're gonna do an over ocean run at midnight...first time; should be fun. Don't sweat the drinking before departure...don't do that anymore.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Saturday 31st of August 2013 08:24:46 PM
Hi Jerry, ... your point is well made ... it's doubly tough when we are trying to defy the laws of physics ... and I see this as a power greater than your friend here, taking over and controlling his descent ... It just wasn't in God's plan for him to leave yet ... great story ...
I have flown co-pilot a few times in an Aeronca Champ, ... and when it was obvious that I didn't have the skill level to do certain maneuvers, my cousin, the pilot, would say "Let Go" ... I'll take it from here ... Ya know, he wasn't my 'higher power', but I still to this day think of the similarities to this program ... I had to 'Let Go' and trust the pilot (a power greater than me when flying this plane) to get me back on the ground safely ... I see this program much in the same light, I had to 'Let Go' and turn the controls over to God, a power much greater than me, when my life was spinning out of control ... it's truly amazing how things turn out when I don't force my will to be done, but try to do His ... ... ... (a whole lot less destruction!!!)
I have also learned that God does indeed work through others at certain times ... creating some most interesting results!!!
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I drove through thick smoke today. For a second we saw absolutely nothing. My wife tells me calmly. We drive by faith not by sight.
That's how my AA program is for me. Many times in my sober life I was carried by faith of the AA fellowship and God because I had no vision at all. My pride went down in a heap.
I have to go by faith. There is no illusion left that I am able to manage my own life. The best I had got me burning my fingers on the doorknob to hell.
Lack of power was and still can become my problem.
__________________
"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
you know how some sayings just are your favorites? Maine was always the passage on lack of power being my problem.
pit really sums it up for me. No lack oeard fort or desire to get and stay sober. I had no desire to hurt my loved ones... Just when I got drunk, a Lower Power, if you will took over and things went downhill fast!
I will be looking for the inspirational morning sunrise today. :).
Take care
__________________
"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
Hi Sober Strummer, it's nice to meet you and read your great post. You're right....it's a good life that God has given us out of His love for us. I'm grateful too. It's great to feel gratitude, isn't it? Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you, Mike D.
