For Mike B & MrPeel --- Let's go Blonde!!!

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

For Mike B & MrPeel --- Let's go Blonde!!!

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

With out guilt...I laugh till it hurts. biggrin

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

and there are more:

Two Blondes With Hammers....

Norma and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house.

Norma who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

Norma explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."

Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

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Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter."

*****************

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like... HELLO! You need to roll up the windows first."

****************

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest."

"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have a better chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.

"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too."

(reposts from earlier here at MIP)(years earlier)

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Okay, I admit I wound up confessing more than I should have on this thread, BUT it's about the funniest one ever here on MIP ... I just reread it and LMAO ... again ... if you're interested, check it out ...:

http://aa.activeboard.com/t49401865/okiam-the-blonde-who-has-3-accounts-openi-cant-remember/

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The Magic Bridge!

Three girls were on a bridge, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette jumps off and says "Matresses" and she lands on a pile of matresses. The redhead jumps off and say"Pillows" so she lands on a pile off pillows. The Blonde got scared and ran away. She tripped and fell over the side and said SH_T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work for a construction crew. One day, they were on their lunch break, sitting on a beam thirty stories high. They all note that they've had the same lunch for as long as they were on the job. They agreed if they opened their lunchboxes and found the same lunch, they would all hurl themselves off the beam.

The next day, the police are investigating the scene where the three women fell. When the police asked the husbands of the women, the brunette and the redhead's husbands both said, "If I had known, I would have given her something different." However, the blonde's husband said, "Don't look at me, she packs her own lunch."

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?

Artificial intelligence.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

A redhead, a brunette and a blond rob a bank. The police chase them into a run down building and inside they each climb into old potato sacks. The chief of police steps into the building; he looks around and spots the three lumpy potato sacs. The policeman approaches the sack with the redhead in it. He lightly kicks it with the toe of his boot. WOOF! WOOF! The redhead barks inside the bag, trying to fool the policeman. It seems there is only a dog in here. He mutters and moves to the next potato sack, with the brunette in it. MEOW! MEOW! She purrs. The policeman shrugs, thinking there is a cat in the bag. He moseys over to the last bag and kicks it softly. The blond, panicking follows the other two leads and screams: POTATO! POTATO!