This meditation resonates in my situation. Both my wife and I work full-time jobs, so it's incumbent on us both to share in housekeeping and child-rearing equitably. I've become pretty good at breaking things down into small chunks and tackling them one at a time. I've already cleaned several rooms and started making chile for dinner.
Sometime people use the expression "Mr. Mom" for a lot of the work I do around the house, but that seems insulting to women. It suggests that if I clean the house, or make meals, or do a load of laundry, that somehow I'm doing something that's properly designated as a woman's job. It seems sexist on the face of it. Why can't I just be Mr. Dad?
-- Edited by Q on Wednesday 17th of July 2013 11:27:31 AM
-- Edited by Q on Wednesday 17th of July 2013 11:27:54 AM
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
What's the difference between success and failure? Ideal conditions? Half again as much effort? Twice the talent? Ten times "the breaks"? Or is it simply that some people have what it takes and some people don't?
Vince Lombardi, the football coach who brought the Green Bay Packers from fifteen losing seasons to successive world championships, thought success was a matter of inches. A bit more concentration, one extra push in practice, a consistent second effort for a tiny additional gain. He didn't ask his players to be something other than they were - he asked them to improve their best an inch at a time. He knew inches add up, in life as in sports.
In life as in football, it is often the little things that count: going to meetings when we feel like staying home, or speaking our minds, no matter how insignificant our opinion may seem. When we feel like simply hiding - inches make the difference.
Today, I will be aware that I am a champion in the making. I may not make a complete turnaround today, but I will make progress.
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I couple this with breaking things down to manageable tasks. I was letting my house get out of control - the laundry pile up to the roof and the dishes grow "new food". It was terrible. It was mostly because I was just overwhelmed at the amount of chores comin at me all the time! Trying to get a baby to do a load of laundry was easier than trying to get my husband to do a load of laundry (still is).
I had to start breaking it down to just washing one floor - instead of thinking about washing our whole house which is 3000 sq ft and ALL hardwood! It takes 3 hours. The thought of that was crushing. So instead - I told myself I'd do just one floor. When that was done, I would decide if I could do another and another and as long as I kept the job small and one room at a time - I was able to make it to the end. I was always only going to do just one more. Pushing myself that little bit like it says in this post.
I do that with everything now - but I also give myself the chance to opt out if it gets too hard. I try to not overdo anything so that I don't want to do it the next time, remembering it fondly and manageable helps a lot to kick start the next time it's time to do it. Folding a 1/2 load of laundry and setting it down to play with kids who want attention is WAY better in my memory than when I try to complete it and the kids are screaming the whole time. So much of my intentions are due to my memories - so I try to make sure I'm making good ones. Seems simple - but for this alchie who made everything hard on herself - it's a HUGE improvement - and it's all because of this program and readings like these. Thanks for always posting them Roger.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I can totally relate to the tasks around the house building up over time ... although I don't have little kids running around now, I can still be quite good at procrastinating until the little jobs around here seem so 'over-whelming' ... ... ... AND I have also learned that the principle of 'one day at a time', can apply to chores or tasks around the house ... I have learned to just simply see the next 'single' task rather than the over-whelming whole picture ... 'One task at a time' works for me ... and I usually wind up saying to myself, okay Roger, just one more chore and that will be enough ... LOL ... accomplishing a little is much better off than getting 'nothing' done ...
Thanks Tasha
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
LMAO Q, ... ... ... you're not letting a 'Label' bother you are you ??? ... I've been called Mr. Mom and worse (used to be, he can't help it, he's just a drunk) ... Ha!, I don't let what others think of me, bother me one iota ... and I don't think you do either, right ??? ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
No, not really - just ruminating. I used to be called "that stupid drunk asshole" so I guess Mr. Mom is an improvement.
But you know, sometimes I have a difficult time coping with the idea that a plethora of small, mundane tasks adds up to some great achievement. I know it's true, but the drama loving alcoholic in me wants to don my shining armor, ride in on a white horse, and save the day. Turns out that saving the day means cooking dinner, doing the laundry, and paying the bills.
So I've gotta put away the armor and put on the apron.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Good for you ... at least you're able and willing ... so what if the Knight has clean hands & finger nails ??? ... And the mundane tasks? ... for me, that's a really BIG achievement from the sleeping on the couch all day I used to do ... HeeeHeee ... (seriously, I just finished folding one load of clothes and the second load is in the dryer as we speak ... I've got hamburgers thawing in the frig for the grill tonight and am fixing to make my famous, or infamous, potato salad ... hey, wait a minute, you have an apron ??? ... I need one of those ...
and the dishes are clean, I just have to put them away ... the little woman has been out of town and is returning tonight ... and this may cause me to miss my meeting ... she has a rental car and will need to be picked up probably about the time our meeting starts ... dang it ... (oh well, ... we serve a big variety of cookies and candy at our meetings and I usually wind up ruining my supper anyway ...)(talk about your 'self-control' 'mandm' ... here's where I get tested routinely) ... LOL
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The real secret of sobriety is AA coffee and cookies. Shhhhhhhh.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
I get carried away thinking my husband should help more than he does. I cut back to working only part time again - and my online buying and selling business is over until next spring. So I do have the time to do it - it's just summer, and I want to play LOL. He works 10 hr days every day - and takes out the trash in the morning - I guess I have it pretty darn good - or should I say excellent! I need to work on gratitude. Should probably get to a meeting and bring it up for a topic and just listen.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
There was a time when I worked 10 hours a day, and had long commutes, and I was gone every weekend. I'm grateful my wife didn't demand more housework out of me - I think she sensed that it wasn't that I was unwilling, just exhausted.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Come on Tasha, ... be honest, you're going to the meetings because of the coffee and COOKIES too ... LOL ... ... and gratitude is always a good topic for discussion ...
By the way Q, I just went up to fold the 2nd load of laundry only to remember they weren't done with the last 'rinse' cycle and they were still in the washer ... now, they're in the dryer ... LOL ... 'senior moments' coming more frequently now ... (I did put up the dishes though) ...
Hey Q ... ... ... I think I'll reprint (post) the A.A.A.D.D. thingy I did a long time ago if I can find it ... I don't think you saw it ... keep a look out!!!
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
At any rate, compared to the squalor I lived in when I was alone and drunk, this life is truly a miracle. Sometimes I think the real miracle of AA isn't some big revelation, although there is that, but rather the long string of small blessings.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
