Hi all. I am currently at my in-laws' home, and as I have revealed before, they are alcoholics. I'm lucky to have access to Internet this time around. I wanted to post because 1. this board often feels like a lifeline, and 2. because the more time I spend around them sober the more I notice the sort of insidious alcoholic games that drunks play. I notice it because its all stuff I used to do. It's a tough situation to be in because I haven't yet reached the point of having compassion for them despite a shared disease - and also because their behavior negatively impacts both me and my partner. At the same time, a year ago I would be dealing with it by joining them in getting drunk. Now, I am eating chocolate and posting on MIP, which I prefer. Anyway, it has given me a lot of incentive to read up on how alcoholism affects families. I have a feeling that once I start my mind will be blown. Hope you're all doing well. -A
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
Hey Adam. Glad to hear you're doing well. My reaction to being around a bunch of drinkers is usually boredom. They're on a completely different wavelength. It's not even judgmental on my part, since I engaged in that behavior for many years. It just feels like being in a room full of foreign language speakers.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Hey Adam! Yes, there is a lot to be learned through observation. It took me a bit of time to not be completely annoyed and full of angry judgement when around drunk people. I still get annoyed at times, to be honest. I was never very loud when drunk, so I've always found that particularly annoying. Then again, I wreaked my own 'quiet' havoc when drunk, so I have to keep in mind that I'm I'm no position to judge. Although I rarely see my family, I do know that we often are extremely awkward and tense around each other until the booze starts flowing. Or maybe that was just my perception, because I felt as though I had to be wasted to be in the same building as them haha. I've yet to see them sober, so I'm sure that when that time comes I'll have similar anxieties to yours. Hang in there, Adam! A therapist I was seeing before I became sober gave me a copy of 'Adult Children of Alcoholics'... Though neither of my parents were active alcoholics during the time that I lived with them, I found it interesting and helpful.
Hey Adam. It sounds like you are in school. Lots of good lessons to learn. Great post. Take care.
Bob R
Yeppers it do!! study well young man because this is one subject which will be within and around and thru your life for your whole life. When I identify as being alcoholic I am meaning that I have a life threatening disease that is incureable and only arrestable by total abstinence. Stay the course and if they ask you if you want one just calmly reply, "No thanks...I've had enough". Courtesy of "Mike" another recovering alcoholic when I needed more support. ((((hugs))))
