Hello everybody, you don't know me, but I `know' a lot of you already :)
I've been reading this forum for quiet a while now, and never registered... I finally did, to thank you all for your stories, suggestions, comments on eachother etc.
Without know it, you all have helped me through some rotten times! I hope I can join your discussions and contribute my own experiences as they go.
My name is Franklin, and I have been drinking way too much for 2.5 years before I decided I needed to stop. No one knew (ofcourse). I'm 30 years old, and live in Europe where there are no AA or simmilar meetings near me (As far as I could check). I hope you all will accept me here as part of your online meetings, it has been very helpful for me so far.
This is my first ever public announcement, after telling it to my wife; still feels weird after keeping it a secret for so long...
I too am new to this board and made my introductions just days ago. I was welcomed without judgement, with total acceptance and much love. I hope you feel the same. Whenever you need a lift or a dose of reality, come on in. You are sure to find something or someone here that will get you over the hump. It sounds like you already have. I am SO grateful for this site and the people who give their time as well as ES & H. Glad you are here and that you now have at least an online place to go.
Hi Franklin, and welcome to the Miracles In Progress board. My name is Dan and I'm an alcoholic.
I hope you have also found all the links to on-line AA literature we refer to on this site. The "BB" as we often refer to it here, is pretty much the "AA Bible". It is a great place to start your reading. If you ever do have questions about finding AA information/literature, just ask here. These great folks have a lot of resources.
We are all at various stages of the journey, as you no doubt have seen. But, we all work on our recovery "One day at a time"!
Thanks everybody for your warm welcome, I already feel at home now!
I spent the entire day with my wife, discussing my problem, and telling her about my lies to her, and to other people.
She has been very helpful today and given me a lot of love which still make me cry when I think about it. I hope she will be able to keep helping tomorrow as it is very hard on her too ofcourse to hear about this, she really didn't had a clue...
My name is Franklin and I am an alcoholic and I will be trying to sleep my 29th night sober now!
Again many thanks for the warm welcome, it has meant so much too me already, and I'll be checking in tomorrow on this forum again!
Thanks for posting, keep letting us know where you're at! Don't drink and talk to other recovering AAs, it gets better-
What has been working with me this time was going to meetings if you can find them, praying, going through the steps with a sponsor, and trying to help other alcoholics and people in general-
I've found this board really interesting and helpful-I have only been to one "real" AA meeting so far-I tried to attend two others, but once there was just me and another woman. The meeting place was open, so we went in and shared our stories, read some from the daily book, and left an hour later. The next time I waited and waited, tried to get in, the door was still locked,I waited a bit more, then left. There was another person there, but since we couldn't get in, I am sure he left, too.
The actual meeting was very nice, the people welcomed me and made me feel at home-I was sort of surprised I even shared my story with them at the end of the First Step Meeting they had for me as a newcomer! It was a good feeling to walk in a place, unexpected, knowing nobody present, and be treated like they really want you there!
Yes, AA meetings can be great, but if you can't go to one, this is a great place to read inspiring words, plus some problems faced by others like you. It may not be face to face, but I think these folks are very real and honest, and the feedback is terrific! And I get about the same feeling of welcome from these people as I did at my in-person meeting!
This is a great place to go at all hours, too-since I myself work nights, I can't exactly find an AA meeting when I get off work (which, of course, used to be when I'd start drinking.) I am interested enough is this that I can distract myself from most cravings, since mine are usually psychological or habitual. But I love this! At times it's a bit depressing, often very uplifting, but almost always there is something I read which helps me a lot!
I just love the honesty here, the sharing and caring, the freedom to say things you might not be able to face to face. I really hope it helps you, Franklin, as much as it has me. Keep coming back, and my best to you!
Thanks for the suggestion Doll! I had to google it, didn't understand the acronym, but found interesting information I will certainly pass on to my wife.
Things are going very well, but I don't want to be to hopeful yet as it is the second day of her know about (a) me being an alcoholic, and (b) me trying to not drink anymore and (c) our marriage was almost over.
To give you all some more background information: I have been a jerk for more than a year (that I knew of; probably longer!) and I had been drinking daily (at night, alone, hidden from everyone) for more than 2.5 years (first a few, later more and more).
I always enjoyed christmas, and would spent it at her parents place this year, where nobody drinks alcohol. I was afraid I wouldn't survive those days and started hating this christmas for it, back in october already - I made up excuses why we couldn't go, or we would go it could only be for one day etc. etc.
In November I decided I had to quit drinking completely and started looking for help, locally and later on the internet (and found this wonderful forum, thanks again, many many thanks!). I decided I would want to be as clean as possible to enjoy this christmas without wanting to run home to get drunk. I started drinking less and less each day, up to a level I didn't got drunk anymore. I was sick, had all kinds of physical and psychological problems etc which I had to face myself at that time as still nobody knew (advice to others: DON'T STOP DRINKING WITHOUT TELLING AT LEAST ONE PERSON THAT CAN HELP YOU) It was hell! I was sick 2 weeks, stayed home while my wife went to work. I tried to be as best as I could when she got home to not show the real problem. she nursed me, without know what was wrong.
I enjoyed 3 wonderful days at christmas time with my family in law, I was the best I ever was since 2.5 years !! I started liking myself again ! and started falling in love with my wife all over again (never stopped loving her though, but I was like a little teenager hanging around her :)
The days between christmas and new years eve I collapsed and got all kinds of problems and almost started drinking again: I told my wife we had to leave the house (where I still had access to enough alcohol to get drunk) and took her to the car and we went driving for hours. I told her I would explain later when I could and she was so nice to accept that for the time being.
After new year, I started working again, so did she and things went better and better. I cried, I laughed I had emotions, everything I lost along the way of being a drunk. I tried to hide that too from her (STUPID ACTION..again) so I was locked up in my of
fice almost 24h.
Now the hard stuff comes: At that time one of her colleagues made a pass at her (Don't know if that is correct english, but I mean: he tried to win her love) and she always liked the guy and they kissed. She told me the same evening. As I have been a jerk for at least a year, our marriage was going down the drain but we never got around to discuss it. I knew it was my alcohol problem that was causing all kinds of problems between us, and I wanted her to know I was trying to quit. I tried to tell her thousands of times but I couldn't say the 4 words "I am an alcholic". And I really couldn't tell her after she told me she kissed her co-worker.
We both decided in the next few days we would at least try to save our marriage, and if we couldn't do it we would seek professional help for it, and if that didn't work, we could always split up anyways. No need to do that now over (just) one kiss. I was happy about that because I knew she really liked the guy I used to be 2.5 years ago (we have been in a relationship for 8.5 years now) and I knew I could be somebody like that again without the drinking. It was my 20th day of soberness this happens.
A week later I woke her up at her usual time to get to work, and asked if she could take the day off because I needed to tell her something that could take all day, she did. and I cried and cried and cried and finally got the nerve to say it looking right in her eyes: "I am an alcoholic".
Well, the rest has been described in my first post but she has been given me nothing than love and we both hope that I can stay with the program and be the guy I am right now (I currently only suffer from a sleeping disorder and emotional swings (crying all of a sudden about something I did in the past that I had drunk away) ) which is almost the guy I was 2 years ago.
I hope I can save our marriage and can get her to fall in love with me too once again as I had fallen in love for her again at christmas time. I have lost some friends in the past years due to me being an alcoholic, I have lost a lot of money on it too which caused other problems (in our marriage) but I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY WIFE! She is the love of my life. The last few days with her (friday and today (3PM:35 localtime))have been our best 2 days since ages!
shff long post. I had some catching up to I guess :)
I wish I would have had the nerves to post here on the first day I stopped, or better, even before that.
Thanks again to all you very very nice people here that have welcomed me aboard and I hope one day, I'll be able to give such love back to others who need it!!! And thanks doll for the links, I'll give them to my wife, so she can decide if she wants to join such a group or not.
Please accept this late welcome Franklin....I have been having difficulty posting on the board or reading post.Very frustrating....
I'm so glad you have decided to join us and look forward to getting to know you better. You are in the right place to stay sober, lots of great people here.
Hi Frank, I do think today is your 30 days! it's a big deal in AA,so congrats again!
I'm hoping the best for you and your wife. Your story brought tears to my eyes and hope in my heart! My marrige is over,but it's a good thing. My husband and I where drinking buddies,but I had enough of drinking and asked him for a divorce almost 2 years ago for fear that If I staid with him I'd drink again. It's wonderful to see you and your wife working through this. My husband did not want anything to do with AA. He is not drinking now,but is on a dry drunk waiting for me to see If I start drinking again so he can too. My hope is that you and your wife save your marrige because you both seem so in love.
Anyway, congrats on 30 days. If you where at a face to face meeting they would give you a coin for this as well.
Your story is one of hope and courage. Thank you for taking the time to put it out there for all of us to read. You are one of the reasons I keep coming back to the family at this site. So you come back and let us know how you are doing.
!