Hey guys. Chaya here. It's been a while since I've been on the message board. For a while, it wasn't such a horrible thing because I was spending so much time going to face to face meetings, seeing my sponsor and sobriety sisters, and talking to other AAs over the phone. My mom went into hospice last month and it became difficult for me to do program face to face. Still, I didn't come here. She has since passed and I have a lot of big changes headed my way. I was hoping the meeting was at 7 tonight. I had never done this online meeting. Unfortunately, it was at 6. Bummer. I feel very far away from any sense of serentiy. I'm sober. I'm alive. But, I'm feeling pretty rotten. I'm overwhelmed tonight and just want to run away from everything. I guess I'll read some posts and try to get back to being involved. My sobriety, physical and emotional, depends upon this program. Thanks for reading.
Glad you're back, stick around ... Sorry to hear about your Mom ... My Dad passed last year and it was a tough go for a bit ... For me, I actually tried making my conscious contact with God stronger ... and it DID carry me through the rough times ... Meetings helped a lot, they got me out of me, so to speak ... and they helped me gain a new perspective on life ...
Meetings, whether I feel like going or not, always make me feel better ... my sober family is everything to me ... These AA folks not only saved my life, but very probably my very 'soul' ...
Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
thanks pappy. i miss getting to my regular meetings. i'm taking on another child and my mom was the last of my immediate family of origin to go. i've been through this now too many times. i've mostly just been numb and sometimes the feelings are overwhelming. I actually just had this total urge to drink to come over me. It was strong the night of the funeral but has been pretty absent lately. I need meetings. I miss them so much. You know, I think i'm going to go call somebody. this is hard right now. i feel like i'm scrambling, i'm struggling. i'm not one with my higher power and i am certainly in self-will. i'll be back. need to get my head on straight. '
(((((Chaya))))) welcome home...didn't drink? didn't use? marvelous got back into steps...keep practicing. Missed you and then knew that HP had you so didn't fret.
Hi Chaya! Nice to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. Loses are always tough. Remember there's a griefing process to each loss we have. It's normal to feel the lose. Feel, deal and heal. When I get into a rough spot, I like to throw The Program at it! I haven't had a problem that The Program hasn't gotten me through. This experience will benefit others that walk the path behind you. You wanted, needed and loved here. Keep coming back my friend.
