I several days ago about snapping off at my boss. Well I did some job searching and applying. One application took and I interviewed yesterday. They didn't interview me for the position I even applied for but the one above it. It would be a step up from clinician to "Director of Clinical Services" and running multiple programs. I don't know for sure if I got the job. I also am kind of like "OMG! Am I ready for this?"
I swear guys, I can't believe how my ongoing sobriety is evolving. Yesterday I said to my partner, "WTF! I am just a 4 and a half year old" referencing my sober time.... Part of me feels totally unprepared for this and not good enough. BUT, I have enough recovery in me to know I am deserving and a capable person/worker. I am dynamic and I can get things done. I am not the same person I was.
Even if I don't get this job - it's okay. Doesn't matter. I don't need to be an executive to have self-esteem. Besides, it ultimately means more work and responsibility for not that much more pay probably. Just wanted to share that when I really worked this program, it freed me. Freed me from much more than just alcohol. It freed me largely of my self sabotaging nature...Ongoing work is still needed of course.
P.S. - Don't take this to mean scream at your boss and get a better job LOL. But I do think part of it was about burn out and needing to step up to another level in my career. I also feel like the boss instigated it with her totally insane behavior but I tell my child therapy clients "She started it" is a sucky excuse so it doesn't work for me either. Lesson learned regarding how to move on and address burn out before it blows up in my face (at least I hope the lesson is learned).
Wish me luck whatever happens.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
my uncle retired from a large bank after 35 years of service. i wasnt one to stay on jobs that werent heatlhy for me or no chace of advancement. we had a family reunion. my unlce asked me where i was worken. told him and what my job entailed. he said," yer never gona have a retirement or anything jumpin jobs" then preceded to talk about how happy he was to get out of his miserable job. all i could do is smile an dbe greatful im not willing to live in misery.
dont let fear of the future control ya. all gotta gotta do is ask yer HP for courage, strength, and wisdom and it will apear.
When I was a drunk I couldn't hold job for long they always got in the way of my drinking. Since I've been sober I've had the same job for 28 years, and I do love my job by the way, and will be retiring in 2 years. After that they want me to come back and work part time. I agree it is amazing how things changed when I changed.
__________________
Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Talking about jobs? ... ... ... Well, seems like everywhere I applied for a job, they wanted me to come in on Mondays ... Mondays was my 'flu day', I usually couldn't get to work til Tuesday ... LOL ... Needless to say, I never lasted long at those jobs ... ... (well, ... til I got sobered up, that is)
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Yeah, we all have moments like these, moments we choose to regret, but everything seems to work out in the end with or without our cooperation. Thanks, again, for reminding me of that. I hope the pastures are greener on the other side.
Sounds like another opportunity to choose Pink and not throw darts. The psychological profile of the alcoholic in parts says that I am a "risk taker" and indeed when I was taking that inventory I smiled and nodded and thought..."and why not"?? I have a "can do" attitude..."I can do everything and anything I say I can...whether I can do it for real or not". I heard in a meeting that it was called arrogance to the extreem, felt that was another good title to put behind my AA resume and carried on until I could often say how many things I've done in my life and not a thing about who I was since I never identified myself with what I did. Some of the stuff I did glorified my alcoholic personality and I could stand up and boast for a while until I got bored with it and had to move on to another "thing". Today, with the help of the program and the guidance of my Higher Power what is important is how I behave as taught me from inside the rooms of AA and Al-Anon...and how much of that I give away without expectation of return. Strange change indeed. Keep coming back..
