To be honest, I didn't really think I had much experience, strength, or hope to share. I had all 3... But thought I needed more time in sobriety to share it. Around here, and I'm sure elsewhere, there are many schools of thought on newcomers and their place in AA. I'm blessed to be able to attend a variety of meetings that have differing views on this. I've noticed some groups encourage newcomers to share about everything. Others are of a 'keep your mouth shut and listen' school of thought. I think a fine balance between the two works for me. I remember the older men who advised me to do nothing but listen and make coffee for the first year. For me, there's much wisdom to this. It's amazing how much I've learned from doing this. It's also been very humbling - and that's something this girl needed plenty of (still needs). But now, I'm ready to speak, to start helping others- to share what little I know about this sobriety thing. Tonight was a great night for me. The restaurant I work at held a benefit to raise money for the One Boston foundation. This included the purchase of a high priced ticket to include food and an open bar to the guests, and an auction on items donated by local businesses and Boston athletes. At this point being around booze at work doesn't bother me for the most part. Tonight was no different until the bands started playing and my coworkers started drinking. The place is usually closed on Sundays, and any tips we received were donated-we donated our time to work the event, so we could 'sneak' drinks. For a split second, after 3 people offered to get me a 'special soda' the thought crossed my mind that I could have a few. NOPE. It wasn't that I actually wanted to drink, it was more a nostalgia thing. It was a fleeting thought, as I knew it would be. At the point I realized the event had turned into a club type atmosphere, and my coworkers were no longer working at all, I asked if I was needed any longer, and my boss simply said 'sure, thanks so much for all your help'. I realized I now instinctively know how to handle situations that used to baffle me- I got the heck out of the situation with no drama. As I'm saying goodbye to my coworkers who are enjoying their drinks like I never could... My brand new sponsee calls me to chat, and we have a great talk about her very new sobriety as I walked the 2 miles home. It was strange all the ESH I was sharing that I didn't know I had! Haha- it just kinda came out. I realized after I hung up THIS is what it's all about:) Oh, and in terms of the fundraiser? All in all, including the donated items that were auctioned off our tiny 120 seat restaurant raised over 60,000$$!! Yes, that's Sixty Thousand Dollars!! Awesome day to be sober :)
-- Edited by Col on Monday 29th of April 2013 12:39:15 AM
Great work Col, Great in that you went through the experience, and just as great, you took the time to write it down and donate it to the group. It sounds like you just went through one of the sneakier assaults on your sobriety with a strength I wish I had a couple times in the past. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Great story Col, ... ... ... Loved it ... you have grown so much in so little time ... and everything you shared is typical of someone growing in their sobriety ... one of the hard things at your stage, is coming to realize that you do indeed have ESH to share ... the hard part for me, during this transition, was to learn to remain humble ... I felt like 'I've got it now' and that I knew what was what ... not quite yet ... even though I had a lot to offer the new-comer, I was still a babe in the program and had much more to learn ... (I feel you have a good handle on this, but just wanted to re-enforce the idea) ...
You're off to a great start ... try to stick around with your feet firmly planted on the ground and be prepared for anything ... you have come to know a great sense of purpose now ... be real cautious as to your 'expectations' in the program ... things may not work out quite like you'd expect ... as long as your 'priority' remains to work your program for you, then all else will fall into place like it's supposed to ...
Super great job ... I'm proud of you ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hey Col,,,,great share...I also remember back early on still working in a rock band where players were still using and how using wasn't actually the temptation for me but the level of coherence among the players as the night would play on had me feeling in isolation,,was actaully kind of boring watching it unfold.....In due time I removed myself from the situation and located players that didn't use while working and played the clubs as a business venture till even some of that got old..WE can carry our message in silence with even one day free of active addiction,as our actions speak louder than words....Have ablessed and productive day :)
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Yes, Pappy... Very true:) I think that I usually have a pretty fair idea of how little I actually know. It wasn't until I realized this that I began to learn. Whenever I get that sense of 'having it figured out' I remember how many times I've heard people say the exact same thing in meetings... And how dangerous that thinking can be. You are right, though, I think many newcomers approach the 'big' year mark with a sense of having this thing down... I felt myself heading towards that direction a bit and I had to sit next to a guy with 46 years of sobriety for 2 weeks straight to remind myself that this guy still goes to a meeting everyday- that I will never have it all figured out. Lol- he started bringing me cookies his wife made!
Hey Col, ... this reminds me of something I've shared here before ... don't know if you've read it or not, but here's a reprint:
1st of All
My Sponsor: 1st of all, Its your thinking thats wrong.
I said: How much of my thinking is wrong?
Sponsor: We always start with all of itthen if theres any, any good, well let you know.
I said: You put a sign up that sez.. THINK, THINK, THINK.
Sponsor: THAT'S FOR US
Now were gon to give you some things to do and things not to do.. Now the things well give you not to do is gon to changethe things we give you to do, youre gon to add toThen its gon to happen over here.
I said: Whats gon to happen over there?
Sponsor: We dont know but it always happens!!!
I said: Im going to tell you something Ive been listening to you and listening to youNow you listen to me..I DO NOT UNDERSTAND..
Sponsor: AND THATS IT & DONT YOU EVER FORGET IT.
Theres two things you must remember every day for the rest of your days
1. No matter whats gon on in your lifeYou Do Not Understand.then youll have understanding
And when you quit trying to understand, then you can enjoy it.
2. No matter what your situation is,.its never them..never her, never him never God,its YOU that must become different than you ever have before. I said: How do I do that?
Sponsor: Oh! You cant!
I said: What the Hell you telln me that for???
Sponsor: Thats whats gon to happen to ya.
NOW IM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE KICKER.
This is the very one thing that got you hereBut its the very one thing that,..should it not change,..will be the very one thing thats going to keep you from getting all the things that God has for his children..
As long as you know that you know,.youll never know. But when you begin to do what we tell you not to do and to do and begin to know that you dont know,.then youll begin to know..
I said: Hell, youre crazy
Sponsor: I know
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Tuesday 30th of April 2013 08:04:30 AM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
