Hello! I'm a 32 year old alcoholic.

I started drinking at 13.  I hung around with a bunch of other kids and we all drank and partied all of the time. I married my High school sweat heart when I was 21. We both were part of the same delinquent group of kids.  Around the time we got married I wasn't really drinking I only had  1 beer n my 21st! That changed about 23.  I started hanging out with a catholic coworker who like to drink, all of my natural "drinking talents" (failures) came roaring back.  I started hanging out with her every night for happy "hour". This is when I got my first driving offense.  It was dropped to reckless open because I was actually under the limit that night. Ikr?! Anyway she started a new relationship and that left me to drink alone.  I tried some other happy hour buddies but they never worked out.  Eventually I just started drinking at home alone. At this time the husband worked out of town a lot. His brother started hanging around a lot and he reminded me f the "husband I fell in love with, the delinquent kid". I cheated on my husband with his brother!  Eventually my drinking persuaded us to move back to where we grew up, this way I could party with friends easier. It was definitely easier! When I wasn't out with them I was driknkng at home.  I used to go through a case every 2 days. About this time we started doing work on the house, by we I mean me, while the husband played video games.  It was also about this time I started seeing a chiropractor for my neck and back problems.  These are legit health problems but the good dr just wanted me to come multiple times during the week and medicate me, none of which made me feel better.  One morning I wante d to drink while working on the house but it seemed to early to drink beer at 7 am so I found the neat mixture of red bull and 151.  You can make it a shot or a drink, either way you get shitfaced enough not to feel physical or emotional pain.  This was my drink of choice for a ling time. The brother in law moved in for a while during which time there was a sex affair lasting a couple years sometimes while my husband was asleep upstairs.  Jumping ahead after so many arguments and lonely nights I moved out. Husband found out the horrible thing I did and that made the divorce really quick.

I almost immediately started dating a bass player ended up moving in with him for about 6 months during which time I drank so much I was sick and depressed most of the time. I started seeing a different dr who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. He gave me lkyrica which didn't help my pain at all and to be honest I thought he was full of shit and just was making things up because he didn't know why I was in pain all if the time.  I moved in with my mom for two months after leaving the bass player, during this time I had to file bankruptcy for all of the money I spent while completely ignoring any financial responsibilities. At some point I started seeing th chiropractor again, but they had me n so many meds I knew it was wrong so one day I just threw them all away and stopped going to see him.  This promoted my drinking as now I felt all of my pain again and the social drinking just wassnt cutting it.  Spent every single night at bws while meeting some great hearted people.  

I couldn't take moms much longer do moved to apartment,. My bws was too far away for every night so I started to mix in applebees and eventually started going there more with a new coworker. This went on for quite some time. Every friday I would take my baby (very spoiled dog) to my moms while I went down to bws and then whatever bars we ended up after. The trade was that I watched my grandma every Saturday for mom. This was awesome for me because I had always been close to my gma , but somethingnwaas different . There were no days that I missed or couldn't stay awake to watch her to which I am thankful, but I don't know how I did I it.  One night I started drinking so early in the morning and drank the remainder of the day and night I mean all night, I was hanging with the bar tenders when they got off.  Fell down 26 concrete steps and broke my wrist. I startedmseeng a new chiropractor after some days of intense pain and he too told me it sounded like I had firbromyalgia and suggested I go to a dr for that. Yeah whatever. My grandma passed so since there was nothing for me to repay mom with I couldn't take my dog to her on Fridays and eventually my bws stopped.  Here and there still, but new hangout for daily trips changed yo applebees where I met new happy hour friends.  This went on for awhile. 

One day a coworker suggested I go see her husbands dr for my pain and I decided I should that it was getting a lot ridiculous.  To take my dog to the park I had too drink to get there, by drink I mean red bull and 151 in a big speedway cup that went in the car with me. Tghis dr also diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, so fine I take his medicine and the very first day after I was noticeable better. So hey I start learning reading and taking his medicine and the first week is pretty great! Then one night at the bar I end up parking my car in someone's yard.  I don't remember about 5 hours of the night (this had happened before but with much much mire alcohol than this night). I decided the medicine was worth it so I stopped drinking every day. This was 11/4/10. My date I stopped drinking daily!  After that I drank here and there but not much because I couldn't drive and more importantly my hangovers were now so bad, too the point where I litter ally can't get out of bed!  So I had my last drink 11/4/12 nd decided never again.  I decided yo go to aa with a friend. Hers was pretty far away so I didn't keep going, but it was really nice yo be I  a room with people who I understand. 

Its gettingnwarm and ij have 3 party invites including tonight.  I haven't been able to go to any parties or bars or be around drinking at all. Its the only way I've been able not to give in. Up until 2 hours before tonight's party I had planned to go and try and just leave if I couldn't behave. When I started getting ready I realized I couldn't do it,. Looked up aa meeting and went to it instead.! I'm very proud of myself for this, but this is my current problem I don't have any friends or family that understand. My only hobby is taking the dogs to the park and I truelly love this, but it would be nice to find human interaction too.

I told myself not to write a book, but I guess I did. Sorry! Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through.  

PS on tablet, sorry for typos too lazy to fix.