The other day I entered a meeting and one of my fellow AA's, was standing inside the doorway shaking everybody's hand and greeting them as they walked in. I've noticed this a few times, and even heard of some sponsors advising their sponsee to do this if they feel they are having trouble connecting with people. I think I've even heard it suggested on this board.
While there's certainly nothing directly wrong with this ritual, the purpose of it confuses me. If the purpose is to have the GREETING individual connect with others, then it seems to work poorly, as I've never seen a further conversation develop out of this practice. The members seems to just respond cordially, take their seats, and forget it. If the purpose is to make the GREETED members feel welcome, then it seems like a rather shallow ceremony that might creep out as many people as it pleases.
Am I missing something?
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
I've been the greeter at my Monday night meeting for a few months now. Most of the meetings I go to have greeters that change each week.It's nice for the newcomers. They know they are in the right place, they meet someone right off and are made to feel welcome, I can answer questions or tell them simple things like where to find the coffee, soda, bathrooms. It was also a good way for me to get to know everyone when I was new. I am glad I was pushed into doing it. Without that contact with everyone every Monday it would have taken me alot longer to fit into the group. After just a few months I am getting more hugs than handshakes.
We do not have an official greeter, but ... ... I and other older members come early and when we see a new face come in, pretty much all of us will get up and go greet them and welcome them to our meeting ... after new-comers have witnessed this for a while, they too usually become involved in the greeting process ...
You said: I've never seen a further conversation develop out of this practice.
In our group, the same ones I mentioned above will usually go and thank the new-comer for coming and usually the "meeting after the meeting" develops from there ... SO, the basic purpose of greeting at all is to make the new-comer feel welcome and for them to know they are in the right place, among friends ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
To clarify: What I'm seeing does not appear to be an official greeting, nor is it any one person who normally does it. It seems random, like one guy just deciding one week that he's going to greet everybody that week, and not doing it again. Like the whole point was to just do it once and that's all. Seems strange.
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
At our meetings we do the same as Pappy said. It puts newcomers at ease and makes them feel welcome. And then like he said the meeting after the meeting they will many times come to me with questions because I welcomed them and they feel a conection with me.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Our meetings have always had a greeter that would rotate 2x a month and at the end of the meeting we would bring the newcomer a list of names and numbers for person to call as we would suggest.....The list was accompanied by those who signed as to identify a face with a name and a number. Remembering a newcomers name the next time they were seen also helped as many have told us..I personally felt welcomed to be greeted by my name after I had just been met early on...something I was never good at remembering until I started to work on it..
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
It seems to be a good way of making a newcomer (the greeter) feel a part of the group by doing something that is useful but not too onerous. It also serves to get them out of themselves a bit by reaching out to others. I love turning up at a meeting where there is a greeter who makes me feel welcome, it's kinda special. And then there is the spiritual paradox - if they are making someone else feel good, the good feeling comes back to them.
These humble activities are wonderful spiritual exercises. Recently I spent the whole day at an area assembly, washing cups. I felt great and I felt I belonged! It was just as good if not better than if I had heard the best AA speaker in the world.
I agree with Mike above. Where I got sober, there was a prominent culture of people greeting others at the door, and within the meeting.
I have tried to help institute the culture at my homegroup here in GA, and I have heard people mention that they decided to join our group because they where greeted and felt welcome.
I think a part of working the 3d step can be greeting people at meetings...doing something to get you out of self that might make a positive impact of others.
"If the purpose is to have the GREETING individual connect with others, then it seems to work poorly, as I've never seen a further conversation develop out of this practice."
To answer the above: After about 4 weeks serving as a greeter, 70-80% of the people attending the meeting will know the greeter by name and others will feel they know him better and will be more comfortable talking with him/her.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I kind of like the greeter concept. I have seen it work at a few places.
I've seen it fail or be absent at most others. Sometimes it seems like a feel good/make work task for a few newcomers.
I am concerned about the newcomers, especially 1st timers, who slip into meetings, sit in the back, don't say a word, then slip on out without interaction. This seems to happen at bigger meetings.
Last night there were 2 newcomers who were both in bad shape. One still detoxing, one very weepy. It was nice to be there when they came in and be able to talk to them again after the meeting and introduce them to others. Hope they both come back.
