For years this saying made no sense to me. It wasn't the first drink, I argued, but rather the seventh or tenth drink that got me drunk. I'd been able to control my drinking for a long time, and with a lot of will power I'd been able to limit my drinking to a few glasses. Towards the end though, I'd inevitably have that sixth or seventh or more drink and end up roaring drunk. If only I could regain control, I thought, and when I entered the program, I secretly hoped I'd learn how. I remember sharing with my sponsor my desire to once again control and enjoy my drinking. He said, "Heck, when I controlled my drinking, I didn't enjoy it, and when I enjoyed it, I couldn't control it." Boy did that make sense. He then told me that for him one drink was too much and a thousand was never enough because once he started, he could no longer stop. And that's when I began to understand. Today I know very well that if I began drinking again, even one drink, it would soon enough lead to ten, and I'd be drunk. I don't know when I crossed the line into full blown alcoholism, but I did. I now know there is no going back. The good news is that I no longer fantasize about being able to control it again, because I know that it's the first drink that will get me drunk.
___________________________________
Copyright @ 2013 Michael Z
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
