I opened for an oldtimer at a speaker meeting...I had to to do 10 minutes. I did pretty much what you just described....It was a large meeting...About 150 people and I had people coming up and shaking my hand afterward and one guy was visiting from Cleveland and he told it was the best lead he'd heard in a long time. Here's the kicker....I didn't remember a word of it. I talked to an oldtimer from my homegroup after and told him I don't remember anything I said....He said...That's when you know you are doing it right.
I also say a little prayer before every meeting I attend...
God...Let me hear what I need to hear...And if I speak...Let the words come from you. Amen.
Dang, ... Stepchild said it before I could ... LOL ... ever feel like that in a meeting? ... When I did finally get to where I would share during a meeting, I became as you RubyT, I was paranoid of what to say and scared of what the old timers would think ... sometimes they told me to 'take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth'(meaning I should shut-up and listen), and other times I would share til I didn't know what I was sharing ...
At some point, I learned to do exactly what Stepchild said he does ... I pray that if I get the chance to share during the meeting, or if called on, that the words and thoughts that come out of my mouth be those of my higher power? ... who better than Him/Her to know what others need to hear??? ... Since learning to do this, I've had very little problem sharing exactly what I feel ...
Tonight, I happened to have been the 'Discussion Leader' ... I strirred things up a bit, as usual, but there was no lack of sharing tonight, as there frequently is ... afterward, I was complimented on daring to bring up the subject and that it was long over-due ... but the point is, is that if we seek to share from the heart, pray that the spirit fill us with what others need to hear, then what we share from the heart, becomes easy to do ... and if you find yourself with a 'brain fart' and nothing more to say ? ... just simply say 'I'm glad to be here and to be sober', that makes this a great day, thanks ...
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 23rd of January 2013 10:27:33 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Yep, ... it's how we should all start AND end each and every day ... AND use frequently during each day ...!!! ... ... ... works for me ... thank you Lord!
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 23rd of January 2013 10:41:34 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I feel like I never say the right thing. Like, words come out of my mouth and I instantly think 'that's not what I feel' or 'that's not what I was trying to get across'. I have this problem while sharing in meetings sometimes. Like, I'll say something and it will be fine, but it won't be what I'm actually feeling. But I don't know what I'm feeling, it changes all the time. Maybe I'm still trying to bend to others expectations of me.
This is something I read a very long time ago and it always hepled me better able to share honestly..(never liked public speaking but after awhile I realized it was no longer all about me) I have shared this here before awhile ago............... Something Valuable To Share
"A simple, honest message of recovery from addiction(alcoholism)always rings true."
You're in a meeting. The sharing has been going on for some time. One or two members have described their spiritual experiences in an especially meaningful way. Another has had us all rolling in the aisles with entertaining stories. And then the leader calls on you.., gulp. You shyly introduce yourself, apologetically stammer out a few lines, thank everyone for listening, and sit out the rest of the meeting in embarrassed silence. Sound familiar? Well, you're not alone.
We've all had times when we've felt that what we had to share wasn't spiritual enough, wasn't entertaining enough, wasn't something enough. But sharing is not a competitive sport. The meat of our meetings is identification and experience, something all of us have in abundance. When we share from our hearts the truth of our experience, others feel they can trust us because they know we're just like them. When we simply share what's been effective in our lives, we can be sure that our message will be helpful to others.
Our sharing doesn't have to be either fancy or funny to ring true. Everyone working an honest program that brings meaningful recovery has something of immense value to share, something no one else can give: his or her own experience.
Just for today: I have something valuable to share. I will attend a meeting today and share my experience in recovery from alcoholism(addiction)
I also remember that just because we are working our process of recovery doesnt mean we are automatically stand up comedians,great orators or spiritual guru's but our honest sharing always shines thru..
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Is there a right or wrong way to share (outside of the obvious taking the share off track and talking about irrelevancies)? I don't think so. Everyone's journey and style is as different as their fingerprints, but they're all valuable. I doubt there is an on message share I've not taken something useful from and I've heard an awful lot by now.
I find that much of what I say is me winging it. I might have some insight I want to talk about but mostly I just open my mouth and the words fall out. Much of what I say I can't remember, and a lot of it is new to me in the sense that I'm making sense of it as it comes out. It's a real stream of consciousness thing for me. I used to worry it was all gobbledy gook but enough people have wanted to talk to me about parts of it after that I take it at face value when they tell me they got something useful out of it.
So don't sweat it. Just be honest and the rest will take care of itself.
Right on Elenore - that's a great place to start! I am just recently beginning to feel a bit calmer about sharing. Just in the last few weeks, and I've been doing it at every single meeting for a year! It has been a huge hurdle - but never allowing myself to pass this whole entire time has gotten me over my fears FINALLY - and I'm finally comfortable to share.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I find that much of what I say is me winging it. I might have some insight I want to talk about but mostly I just open my mouth and the words fall out. Much of what I say I can't remember, and a lot of it is new to me in the sense that I'm making sense of it as it comes out. It's a real stream of consciousness thing for me. I used to worry it was all gobbledy gook but enough people have wanted to talk to me about parts of it after that I take it at face value when they tell me they got something useful out of it.
So don't sweat it. Just be honest and the rest will take care of itself.
I opened for an oldtimer at a speaker meeting...I had to to do 10 minutes. I did pretty much what you just described....It was a large meeting...About 150 people and I had people coming up and shaking my hand afterward and one guy was visiting from Cleveland and he told it was the best lead he'd heard in a long time. Here's the kicker....I didn't remember a word of it. I talked to an oldtimer from my homegroup after and told him I don't remember anything I said....He said...That's when you know you are doing it right.
I also say a little prayer before every meeting I attend...
God...Let me hear what I need to hear...And if I speak...Let the words come from you. Amen.
Like Mike said, it's not about us anymore, at the end of a hour meeting does anyone remember more than just a few thinks a few people said.
Today I know God speaks though people, If you said it, it was authentic. It was what you where supposed to say, period.
Many times I have heard exactly what I needed to hear from a newcomer or even a chronic relapser....God sends the message, we never know who the messenger will be.
I have shared at meeting and when I was done started thinking to myself.....did I just say that??
Just do your best, God will make sure you are authentic..... at least in his eyes.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I find that much of what I say is me winging it. I might have some insight I want to talk about but mostly I just open my mouth and the words fall out. Much of what I say I can't remember, and a lot of it is new to me in the sense that I'm making sense of it as it comes out. It's a real stream of consciousness thing for me. I used to worry it was all gobbledy gook but enough people have wanted to talk to me about parts of it after that I take it at face value when they tell me they got something useful out of it.
So don't sweat it. Just be honest and the rest will take care of itself.
I opened for an oldtimer at a speaker meeting...I had to to do 10 minutes. I did pretty much what you just described....It was a large meeting...About 150 people and I had people coming up and shaking my hand afterward and one guy was visiting from Cleveland and he told it was the best lead he'd heard in a long time. Here's the kicker....I didn't remember a word of it. I talked to an oldtimer from my homegroup after and told him I don't remember anything I said....He said...That's when you know you are doing it right.
I also say a little prayer before every meeting I attend...
God...Let me hear what I need to hear...And if I speak...Let the words come from you. Amen.
It's an odd thing when someone comes up to you and says 'I really related to that thing you said about doing X and how applying Y to it worked for you' or somesuch, and you think to yourself 'Did I say that? Wow! That's pretty profound. I wonder where that came from'
Maybe some channelling goes on when we get in the zone. Who knows?
I opened for an oldtimer at a speaker meeting...I had to to do 10 minutes. I did pretty much what you just described....It was a large meeting...About 150 people and I had people coming up and shaking my hand afterward and one guy was visiting from Cleveland and he told it was the best lead he'd heard in a long time. Here's the kicker....I didn't remember a word of it. I talked to an oldtimer from my homegroup after and told him I don't remember anything I said....He said...That's when you know you are doing it right.
I also say a little prayer before every meeting I attend...
God...Let me hear what I need to hear...And if I speak...Let the words come from you. Amen.
Yeah.... "rock-on" Stepchild!
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I never know what to say Ruby. I still feel so new and that I just don't have much to offer. Plus, living alone and not being at work for a few weeks I just don't have daily stressful situations so things are pretty easy right this minute. I keep it short and sweet and figure it gets easier. People keep telling me "fake it till you make it". I feel the changes going on in my head but it's hard to put it into words most times. I listen to everyone else and find myself nodding my head alot!
I never know what to say Ruby. I still feel so new and that I just don't have much to offer...
When I hear a new member share their story full of pain and confusion, and they are sitting there looking so broken and kicked around I think 2 things:
1) I want to help them. I want them to have what I have.
2) I remember those days. I remember feeling that terrible and I never want to go back there. I want to keep what I've got.
So your share keeps me sober and helps me keep you sober. That's some pretty powerful stuff.
Ya know SC? ... I haven't heard that, but I'm a testament that that works ... Prayer was and is one of the BIG keys to my staying sober today ... I think without it, I would lose faith, then shortly thereafter, my sobriety(sanity) ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Ruby, I was told to share from my heart and I really can't go wrong. Later on, my heart and my head started matching up a bit more and that works even better. Nonetheless, sharing from your heart is always ideal. Typically, it is what is in our heads that is sick. Our hearts (or souls) are pure and that is where God (or whatever vision you have of a HP) resides. Hence, it's actually best when you just let it rip straight from the heart. It doesn't have to make sense to your head right away. Others and your HP will help you make sense of it.
It's good not to go overboard and emotionally vomit during all your shares, but I will say...that pattern is even MUCH better than holding back. I share a lot in meetings...probably too much...whatever. I also have healed a lot so I don't really regret it. My whole first year was a lot of rambling and boohoos (lol). I went to beginner meetings 3 x a week because that was the purpose of those meetings and the appropriate place to do it. In an oldtimers meeting or step study, I learned to listen to those with more of the solution rather than share so much of my perceived problems. It's all a balance and if you just share your spirit with your best intentions, your spirit will heal.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Great topic and shares everyone! Thank you. I use the same approach as many here have stated; pray to hear the message and if sharing that God guide me through it. Try to share from the heart with honesty. I've had times when I shared and thought, that was terrible....... Then after the meeting someone would walk up to me and thank me for sharing from the heart and want to talk to me about what I shared and how they could identify and so on...... It's all part of the Journey. God still has the show covered.
RubyT, I've always felt that, while sharing at a meeting, there is a considerable amount of pressure to incorporate AA speak and wrap it up with a quote from the big book. I think it's very difficult to access your thoughts and to try and convey your thoughts while trying to create/maintain the status quo. I wouldn't be critical of myself about it. It takes time to not care what others in the meeting think about your sharing. People still wag their heads when I share and it doesn't immediately validate their need for regurgitated AA doctrine lol
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Saturday 26th of January 2013 09:07:23 PM
I just wanted to share that I took a lot of the advice on this thread today. At my meeting I didn't think about what I was going to say beforehand, and just spoke from the heart as honestly as I could about the ways in which I'm struggling. Like Stepchild said, I didn't remember much of what I shared! Afterwards one guy came up to me and thanked me for my honesty and said it was exactly how he was feeling but he didn't know how to say it. And there was a lot of support in the room. Good stuff.
I just wanted to share that I took a lot of the advice on this thread today. At my meeting I didn't think about what I was going to say beforehand, and just spoke from the heart as honestly as I could about the ways in which I'm struggling. Like Stepchild said, I didn't remember much of what I shared! Afterwards one guy came up to me and thanked me for my honesty and said it was exactly how he was feeling but he didn't know how to say it. And there was a lot of support in the room. Good stuff.
I went and saw a friend of mine from my homegroup speak at another meeting...She had to cover 20 minutes and she decided she was going to write down what she was going to share. She ended up blowing through that in 10 and started just saying things she was grateful for....That covered about 4 more minutes....And she finally blurted out....How much more time do I have?...It was pretty rough. I don't recommend that method...Straight from the heart is the way to go!
Then after the meeting someone would walk up to me and thank me for sharing from the heart and want to talk to me about what I shared and how they could identify and so on......