I've hesitated to write about this, but the fact is, I hesitated at our last Group conscience meeting to voice anything and it bothers me some ...
You see, our current GSR was moved into a hospice environment 2 weeks ago after being diagnosed with late stage cancer and finding it only a couple months ago ... it was quite sudden ... and she died last week ... our alternate GSR was voted into place just a day or two before this happened ... and then some names were mentioned for consideration for the 'Alternates' open position ... it was agreed to carry this over til next month ...
Here's what bothers me some ... I was about to throw my name into the pot, but I remember Tasha's experience with a call from the GSR in her area ... that led to her story that unfortunately unfolded into the death of a wife and mother(suicide), that a plea for help came from the husband over the AA 'hot line' just days prior ... ... if I am re-calling this properly? ... Tasha shouldn't have been called to start with in my opinion because of her newness to the program at the time ... but the whole gist of the story to me was the awesome responsibility that a GSR can have ... in the pamphlet literature, it only discusses the quarterly meetings and representing our groups, not the responsibility to direct 'hot line' calls ... nor how ...
And I'm not one to take that lightly ... and I know that there are things that we just cannot change (regarding the action of others ... suicide will still happen) ... but wow, I hesitated because It seemed a tremenduous commitment ... others in my group are equally qualified as me so I just stayed quite ... and let it ride ...
Comments???
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I'm going to refer you to Frodo's post: God is either everything or He is nothing.
You either trust in Him and have a faith through works or you don't. You don't get to pick and chose when in life you do and don't - in my humble opinion - oh wise one.
So has it all happened as it's suppose to? Are we all still exactly where we are suppose to be? Even the GSR who took that plea for help call? Even the children's who's mother is no longer here? Even YOU?
-- Edited by justadrunk on Tuesday 22nd of January 2013 09:32:53 AM
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
The night I found my ex had shot himself, it was clear that he was going to pull the gun on me and then himself. I was told so by the police. He had everything staged so that I wouldn't be able to escape, and the phone wire cut so that I couldn't call for help. As I was in God's hands that night, and didn't even know it... I chose to not go there to check on him that night. It was the first night I hadn't done that in 21 nights after finishing work... since the day I moved out from his house and he started going even further down the spiral.
It could be that I have had that experience twice now. Maybe if I had gone to see that woman, (with or without) my sponsor the night she was at the jumping off point, she would have snapped and taken me out with her. Or maybe I would have gone there, and then she still did it after I left... I don't know if I would have been able to live with myself... I would have felt overwhelming guilt that I should have known, should have done more, should have helped in this different way or that... possibly for a decade! That's how long I told myself those things after my EX shot himself.
I was new(er) to recovery. I might have started to drink again. I might be dead right now because of that.
I have faith that I was protected. More simply, I trust God. I have faith in him. I believe he will not present to me more than I can handle today... or any other... not even the day I die. That if it is my day to die... it's time.
Maybe that's crazy - but that's how I feel about it today : )
We just can't know. And we can't prepare for every possibility life may present us in any way other than to have a strong faith - a huge spiritual insurance policy through work and service in AA - and Love for ourselves and each other.
-- Edited by justadrunk on Tuesday 22nd of January 2013 04:25:33 PM
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Okay, this is what I think ... Tasha does make a good point ... faith? ... a person either has it or no ...
So I think I'll put this down to being grateful that Tasha shared that unfortunate story a while back AND to have learned from it what CAN happen if we are not fully 'in tune' with the situation ... not that we could have changed the outcome, but perhaps have taken steps more appropriate to the situation ... don't know 'bout ya'll, but for me, there would be an awful feeling of having left something undone that could have perhaps turned this thing around ... I guess this is even more important because a life was taken and I shouldn't view that lightly ... I should learn from it ...
Thanks Tasha
I feel I should at least offer myself for this service position now ... leave it to God to know if I'm suitable and ready for it and for the wisdom to carry out the position honorably ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
You never know - maybe that lady could have continued to live - drink - and then drive drunk and kill her whole family... or YOU AND YOURS! Do I hope that people die? NO! But I do trust in the plan. YOU Pappy - were the one who made me read the shack!
You are not going to save anyone... or keep them from dying. You do not have that power. Being a GSR is a big responsibility to do God's will - but it doesn't mean you have the power of God.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I know what you're saying Tasha and I love these talks ... of course I don't have the power of God but, like you, it doesn't stop me from wanting to save everyone ... or I guess in my case, I don't want to make a mistake and drive someone off either ... alas, we are just human though ... and I think we gain wisdom of God through channels like MIP here ... there is a time in some cases that we must learn to 'turn things over' and pray for the best and then to accept the answers from above and learn from them ...
I can handle the occasional mid-night/2a.m. call to go out and twelfth step someone ... I mean I do that already when the need arises ... Okay, It's just dawned on me that I haven't sat down and discussed this with past GSRs ... That's what I need to do I think ... I need to get a feeling for the responsibilities they had or have and chew on that for a while ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Not sure if it's because AA is so small in your areas but GSRs have ZERO to do with the intergroup hotline. In fact, intergroup and general service are 2 totally different things here. I am a GSR for a large group and it's been interesting. It is a fair amount of responsibility but nothing like you are describing. Being the alternate is also less of a commitment than being the actual GSR. I am still learning all the ins and outs for how AA works on a larger scale. For that, this has been a service to me. You will get a lot of out doing it Roger. You also do have enough sobriety to be able to handle any curveballs. I encourage you to do it. AA needs service workers that have strong programs like you do.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thanks PC, ... I appreciate the encouragement ... and I think you're right ... one thing I have heard is that being a GSR is a journey we all should take at least once ...
Honestly, I do not know how the intergroup and general services work ... I've never asked ... but in my initial post above, I made reference to a thread started by Tasha a long time ago ... and I used that example to explain the reason for my dilemma ... in her post, as best as I can recall ... the people who man the 'hot line' got a call from a certain locale ... they in turn called the GSR for the closest AA group ... For whatever reason, I think maybe the GSR being male, called several women, one of which was Tasha, from a list he had of women members since the 'hot line' call was about a woman with a suspected alcohol problem ... (but at the time, Tasha was fairly new to the program, but still eager to help ...)(if I recall, Tasha's sponsor said she wasn't ready for a twelfth step call, but I don't know why her sponsor didn't volunteer to take Tasha with her to do the call herself ...) ??? ...
Anyway, as it turns out, since the woman's husband called for help, he was basically given the reply that 'unless the person with the problem wants help', then there was nothing we could do ... I found that a little hard to swallow as did Tasha ... So nothing was done and the lady/wife/mother killed herself a few days later ... that hit me like a ton of bricks and I am pretty certain that it blasted Tasha off her pink cloud if she were on one ... I would really, really like to know how that situation could have been handled differently so that I can feel confident that everything was done to save that poor lady ... should contact with the lady have been at least tried ??? ... even though it was her husband begging for help ???
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I just read in the big book about handling a situation when it was the family who asked for help and not the alcoholic him/herself. Someone should have went.
I wasn't saying you should have went Tasha. Just questioning the response of "well, the alcoholic needs to be the one to call." when the family asking for help for a loved one is addressed in the big book.
You never know - maybe that lady could have continued to live - drink - and then drive drunk and kill her whole family... or YOU AND YOURS! Do I hope that people die? NO! But I do trust in the plan. YOU Pappy - were the one who made me read the shack!
You are not going to save anyone... or keep them from dying. You do not have that power. Being a GSR is a big responsibility to do God's will - but it doesn't mean you have the power of God.
Okay - maybe I have no clue what I'm talking about. Sorry - hopefully others will chime in here.
Well my chime is the above is right on the money. Praying only for a knowlege of Gods will and the power to carry that out. God's will is God's will. Don't put a question where he puts a period.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I just read in the big book about handling a situation when it was the family who asked for help and not the alcoholic him/herself. Someone should have went.
I don't remember the whole situation or even if I ever was told. Here is what the book says: pg 90
I tried to drop a family member off at the hospital for treatment once, thinking once they where at the hospital they would be addmitted. Turns out the hospital refused them because the denied wanting to be there.
When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. This advice is given for his family also. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.
If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him - usually his wife. Get an idea of his behavior, his problems, his background, the seriousness of his condition, and his religious leanings. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Kind of like PC said. The GSR in our area just goes to the state and local meetings and reports back to the group. They have nothing to do with 12th step calls in our area.
If you want to get on the 12th step call list in your area, just contact Helen at the ATL central office she will send out a form to fill out and return. There are some guidlines and a min of 1 or 2 years sober etc.
We should always have another AA with us on the calls. If you aren't on the list you won't get called.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I think I'd like to visit the central office sometime and see how things work ... I know, I'm 25 miles south of Atlanta, but I'd like to know just how a call is handled ... and if it comes in from outside the immediate area, what or who do they call in for help then? ... or is it just a voice on the phone giving out local meeting times and such? ... to me, it seems like it would be akin to a 911 call ... I guess I'm more curious than anything else ...
And I also realize that other states may handle things a little differently ... or be structured a little differently ... as with the situation that occurred in Wisconsin ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
From what I can tell, there aren't a lot of the old tradional 12 step calls anymore since the internet. There is information online about AA and where the meetings are etc, people can do a lot of research.
Back in the day, the only way to get info about recovery was call the AA # out of the phone book and the process started there, you might have been able to go to the library and find a little info that way .
Some of the best 12th step work you can do is right here at MIP and show up at meetings early and talk to the new people walking in....that seems to be the new 12th step call in some respects.
Give Helen a call 404 525 3178, she has worked at central office about 30 years or more and has a lot of knowledge and loves to talk.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
