Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but only waits to be provoked.
--Katherine Anne Porter

We often enter into our relationships believing there is one perfect way to act, and if we can only find that way, we'll be successful, accepted. But there is no such thing as one best way to be with another person. The wonder of any relationship is that it involves two imperfect people.

Believing that perfection will ensure love is addictive thinking. Love is a gift that must be given freely, there is nothing we can do to control someone else's choice to love us or not love us. All we can do is our part by learning each day to love as best we can. It may be difficult to find within ourselves such qualities as emotional maturity, separateness, honesty, forgiveness, patience, and self-respect. But those are the very qualities we must cultivate to love someone else.

It can be frightening to trust another person enough to take risks and let go of the outcome. But love is a risk that's worth it.

I am learning that I don't need to be perfect to be accepted and loved by others. I'm also learning that I don't need to expect perfection from others to love and accept them.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

Answers in the Heart © 1989 by P. Williamson and S. Kiser. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

" Ya know? ... I think my problem was that I felt that 'perfection' was going to lead me to 'happiness' ...  I had to give up on my perfectionism when I came to see that it was just my attempt to 'control' every 'freakin' thing ... "

Right on Pappy!  Me too!

I get that for sure,i was always trying to be perfect in everything i did. Now see it was my attempt to control everything too. Am learning with each new day that its fine to not have everything perfect,so what if the house isnt spotless,it will be there tomorrow! Me trying to be perfect all the time led me to be stressed out,angry,full of loathing for myself and with all those feelings i drank to try to make myself feel better. I cant become that person anymore,so my new rule is to keep it in the day,one day at a time.x Am doing well 11 days sober today thankyou god,x

Congrats Marge, ... well done!

Awesome, Marge! It's great to have you here!