Hey guys! Hope everyone is doing well, i just have a quick question.
Ive been making 6 mtgs/week and go to my local library to read up on spirituality 2x a week. My sponsor and i are connecting ok, but... Im bored. Im tired of hearing the same things over and over again. I feel my brain is atrophying. I also feel really codependant. I was calling my sponsor for everything until last month, when i decided to make a few of my own decisions. She says im taking my will back, but my decisions have weilded good results.
I decided that this up and coming semester i can sacrifice 2 meetings a week for classes, and ive joined a zumba class one night a week. (leaves 3 mtgs a week aa).
Its not like im cutting aa out of my life, i just thought id mix things up a bit.
Does she have reason to think im taking my willback?
Thanks. Mahalo (did i spell that right?)
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
My sponsor told me the whole point was to integrate back into life and start trusting myself and my gut & heart again. I still call her a lot. I call her every Monday night just because I have that as part of my routine after I go to my discussion meeting; I call her anytime I'm feeling 'off'; I call her with questions about sponsoring and insight there quite a bit; I call her to find out about stuff I have no clue about like joining the board, doing service work etc.
So even though I don't call her to go over every little decision anymore, I still call a lot I guess. She follows along with everything going on in my life, and that's important to me.
I'm glad you posted about this because I was starting to think I wasn't getting a lot from the relationship, or in a way that it was taking a weird turn, but actually - I get a ton from it, and she lets me know I am good for her too.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Don't know if there is a quick answer to that one other than pray about it.
I hear this story quite a lot and I'm not surprised you are getting bored. Nowhere in the big book does it say you will get sober if you attend a bunch of meetings. To be clear, the purpose of the book, the program, the group and your sponsor is to put you in touch with a power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. This is done by helping you have a spiritual awakening as THE result of working the steps. Your sponsor should not be making any decisions for you, they should be teaching you how to think, not what to think, and they should be helping you towards conscious contact with your higher power, which is where you will ultimately get your instructions for the day. From the big book.....
"It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the difference between failure and success. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God."
Why would that be a bad thing? remember the ABCs? A that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives, B That probably no human power could relieve our alcoholism, and C that God could and would if He were sought. If you accept the idea that we are beyond human aid, then it follows that your sponsor lacks the power to keep you sober.
Some of what you are saying would understandably ring alarm bells with your sponsor. She knows you better than I do and sometimes cutting back on meetings ends in disaster. But only you know where you are at. Consider these questions - have you taken the steps, taken all your inventories, made all your amends, are you in conscious contact with your higher power and are you actively working with other alcoholics on a daily basis (including sponsoring). If you can answer in the affirmative, there is nothing wrong in seeking to restore some balance to your life through other interests. If your answer is negative, then perhaps your sponsor is right to be concerned, but meetings alone won't fix how you are feeling. Only vigourous action on the steps as a way of life will do that.
Its been 4 months and im on step 6, i've been consistent with meeting attendance to this point. I figured tgat school would be a great improvement (life quality long term) and i figure that any friends i make who are into fitness (mind body soul health) wouod be less prone to drinking.
I dont want to quit aa, im just bored and well, my biggest trigger for using was 1. Boredom, 2. Anger and 3. Weight (im about 15 pounds under weight, and need a healthier life style)
i hope that didnt sound like a justification. Love and bless you all.
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Try different meetings - service work - calling different people - handing out your phone number for newcomers... I wouldn't cut back on the meetings at this point. I would start trying new ones though. Have you figured out which one is your home group?
Mike hit it on the head in my opinion - this is about finding your HP and learning how to use that in everything you do... not your sponsor in everything you do. I had an amazingly brilliant sponsor - but she also thought she was my God, and I had to move on from her.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Good to hear from you ... I'm with Mike and Tasha on this one too ... For me? ... I didn't start feeling comfortable dropping any meetings until nearly the two year mark ... but I was way sicker than most ... I still recommend a rigorous meeting schedule for everybody in their first year ... ... ... it shows going to any length ... and the repetition you speak of is exactly what most of us need ... like any professional, we learn by repetition ... it's the only way to be rid of our old way of thinking while instilling a core new way to think .... it must become so prominent in our minds that it becomes a reflex way of thinking ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
it can't be a bad thing seeking out non-alcoholic social contacts who are not into drinking. And there are plenty out there, they make up the majority in fact and part of our recovery involves rejoining the human race.
But the other things you are talking about are not unlike the symptoms of untreated alcoholism. Here's another passage from the book:
"They are restless (bored), irritable (anger) and discontented (weight/self), unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity."
"This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change (spritual awakening) there is very little hope of his recovery." And then....
"On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules."
A common misunderstanding, especially by non alcoholics, is to assume that our alcoholism is some kind of behavioural problem set off by circumstances. If we eliminate all our "triggers" we will be so well organised that we won't need to drink. I tried the geographical cure, removing all triggers in bulk, and still was drunk within days of starting my new life. The problem isn't external and making external changes with the idea of fixing an internal problem just doesn't seem to work. The only solution we can offer in AA is a spiritual awakening through working all 12 steps- that is the only effective treatment we know of for this disease.
You are on step 6, your spritual awakening may have begun, but you may not be feeling it yet. Hang in there get the rest of those steps done and recovery is guaranteed.
There is another passage in the Book about trying to arrange our affairs so we won't have to drink....
"In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. "
And no it doesn't sound like justifications. It sounds like honest questions deserving of honest answers.
Tonight at the meeting I heard a lady say to a guy "Wow, you're doing so well! Your sponsor must really be doing his magic on you!"
I immediately thought of this thread - and really just had to chuckle and smile as I left thinking to myself (and keeping it to myself) that it's not the sponsor who instills the miracle - it's God.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Tonight at the meeting I heard a lady say to a guy "Wow, you're doing so well! Your sponsor must really be doing his magic on you!"
I immediately thought of this thread - and really just had to chuckle and smile as I left thinking to myself (and keeping it to myself) that it's not the sponsor who instills the miracle - it's God.
Dear One.....They always told me, "Dont let the things that sobriety gives you, take you away from the thing that gave you sobriety!" I KNOW how hard it is to keep it fresh...(after 28 years of doin' this every day )....but I STILL get to do the steps daily, and attend 4-6 meetings a week...this is how I get to STAY sober! My sure est cure for boredom, is ALWAYS the 12th step....I LOVE still going to detox meetings, taking people through the steps and carrying this message every day! I may be bored thinkin' about me...but I am NEVER bored, thinking about YOU! Thnx for your question (YOU cured MY boredom this morning!!!!) Blessings upon you, and KEEP COMING BACK!
Neophyte, As long as you feel comfortable with your sobriety and spirituality, the sky is the limit. Just keep staying sober your "primary purpose" because anything that you put in front of your sobriety, you will lose anyway if/when you drink.
Dear One.....They always told me, "Dont let the things that sobriety gives you, take you away from the thing that gave you sobriety!" I KNOW how hard it is to keep it fresh...(after 28 years of doin' this every day 
) Blessings upon you, and KEEP COMING BACK!