I just got off of a two day bender that ended yesterday and then went to 2 meetings today. I just left the second meeting a little while ago and I swear if I had any money in my pocket I would have stopped off at the liquor store on the way home.
-- Edited by ghostman1960 on Saturday 29th of December 2012 11:45:32 PM
It is written that only our first step is done with perfection. WE are all capable,the difference is have we reached the emotional acceptance of utter defeat?Any Reservations you hold onto are just waiting to bring you a ticket on the Downbound train to oblivion.(am I capable?,maybe I can a little?, i'll wait until I get a little better etc)There are 2 IMPORTANT parts to our 1st STEP ,we may admit we are powerless over that first one but if we stop there we are only half way thru the truth,,you know 'well I am powerless but as soon as I get my life together I can handle it"If you are truly alcoholic there is no "handling it" for us(keep it on me here)We are masters of self delusion and manipulation Think ,If we can't handle the poison how the heck we gonna handle the unmanageability of our lives? As long as you don't pick up you won't get high(on the substance)Based on the evidence ,the pain eventually outweighs any pleasure and the question is How bad do WE want it!..Its not about $$$ or where it is or if its around,its about the Desire to Stop AND FINDING THE SOLUTION TO STAYING STOPPED.You are still reaching out,making meetings and thats a blessing but we also find that those who find sponsorship valuable get the most out of the program. Am I making meetings?,listening to learn?,sharing my pain and actively seeking our solution 'THE STEPS " worked with a sponsor and the apllication of the spiritual principles in all areas of my life? Only you can answer that question and determine "am I willing to do whatever it takes? I will lift you in prayer and hope you keep showing up,thanks for the help....Peace man...
Thank you Mike
-- Edited by ghostman1960 on Saturday 29th of December 2012 10:28:36 PM
ghostman, that just more evidence of alcoholism. You gotta really want this, keep the reasons why you want it in the front of your mind (Life, Liberty, Sanity...)
It is written that only our first step is done with perfection. WE are all capable,the difference is have we reached the emotional acceptance of utter defeat?Any Reservations you hold onto are just waiting to bring you a ticket on the Downbound train to oblivion.(am I capable?,maybe I can a little?, i'll wait until I get a little better etc)There are 2 IMPORTANT parts to our 1st STEP ,we may admit we are powerless over that first one but if we stop there we are only half way thru the truth,,you know 'well I am powerless but as soon as I get my life together I can handle it"If you are truly alcoholic there is no "handling it" for us(keep it on me here)We are masters of self delusion and manipulation Think ,If we can't handle the poison how the heck we gonna handle the unmanageability of our lives? As long as you don't pick up you won't get high(on the substance)Based on the evidence ,the pain eventually outweighs any pleasure and the question is How bad do WE want it!..Its not about $$$ or where it is or if its around,its about the Desire to Stop AND FINDING THE SOLUTION TO STAYING STOPPED.You are still reaching out,making meetings and thats a blessing but we also find that those who find sponsorship valuable get the most out of the program. Am I making meetings?,listening to learn?,sharing my pain and actively seeking our solution 'THE STEPS " worked with a sponsor and the apllication of the spiritual principles in all areas of my life? Only you can answer that question and determine "am I willing to do whatever it takes? I will lift you in prayer and hope you keep showing up,thanks for the help....Peace man...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
There was a time when I too, felt like that, in fact, I felt so much like that I DID stop at the liquor store on the way home from a meeting one time ... that threw me right back into the middle of my misery ... again, the drink made the problem worse ... what I did was the epitome of stupid ... so much for thinking I was 'brighter' than the average person out there ...
Continuing to go to AA meetings eventually led me to making better decisions ... that led me to being able to live sober ... hope you can stick it out long enough for the miracle to happen in your life too ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
We're here for you man ... and we will help you as much as the internet connection will allow us to ... AA is all about one drunk helping another drunk stay sober, that's us ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Well, you're in my prayers. Im pretty new to sobriety so I'm not sure I can offer much advice, but I can offer support. It is very difficult to not see outside events as reasons to drink. You're not causing harm to anybody but yourself. You're worth more than that. I've heard over and over at meetings that it's the ones that come back that make it. Just keep coming back.. You've got it within you to do this:)
