Calling and reaching out: I am terrified! There is one woman who I want to phone to talk about the program a little more and possibly ask if she will be my sponsor. There is another woman who I would like to go for a coffee with or something.
Tips? I wish life was handled by e-mail. I hate the telephone.
Just take a deep breath and do it. They would not have made their numbers available if they did not want to talk. Most people like to help others and feel needed. I'm sure they will make it easy on you. They know how hard it is. Good luck!
Getting sober is, for the most part, counter-intuitive. What we need the most, we don't want (help), and what we want (to issolate) is killing us. The list of these things is long, but was brought into context by my first sponsor, with this 6 word question - "How's that been working for you?" and "Your best thinking got you Here!" With desperation comes the greatest gift, willingness.
I got a call a couple of hours ago from a guy who's been around AA for a long time (unsuccessfully I might add), to just talk ... He was very apologetic ... I asked why? ... he said I really didn't want to bother you ... I said it would bother me more to find out you went and got drunk and didn't call me when you had the opportunity ... ...
This person has had himself for a sponsor for many years ... and for many years he continued to relapse ... I could make the story much longer, but the gist of it is he didn't have what it took to ask for help ... this was the third time he'd called me for three days straight ... I was kinda reading between the lines and came out and asked him if he was wanting me to sponsor him ? ... He said oh no, I just needed someone to talk to ... after I probed a little deeper, I realized he was really paranoid to ask me ... so I made it easy for him, again long story, and he said please help me ...
So, I got me another sponsee tonight ... love it ... Christine is right, most people DO like to help others ... so have no fear, they probably won't 'bite' you ... LOL
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks for the input, all. Tomorrow I swear to god I am going to call one person. Kick me if I'm back tomorrow evening not mentioning that I've done it! Dean, 'how's that been working for you' is so good. Something to remember!
Often times when I call someone, I find that they needed someone to call them as much as I needed to talk. It turns out to be a win- win deal, one of the many treasures of this simple program. Simple, but not easy. That first call is always the hardest to make. Remember, every time you reach out to another alcoholic, you are helping them stay sober. As the saying goes, we can only keep what we have by giving it away. Good luck, you can do it.
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
Hey:) I know all too well how you feel. When I give my number, I actually look forward to hearing from that person! When I try to make the call, I feel as though I'm bothering someone. It goes against everything I've known, the way I've lived my life etc to reach out to someone. I've always waited for people to approach me. Well, that mindset kept me isolated and distant from others for far too long. It does feel foreign to me to call someone, but usually they seem glad to hear from me..and it's nice to get out of my own head by asking how THEY are doing. Also, by answering the phone they are making themselves available to you:)
I was so scared to do it, too. Before I called I told myself that it was for my sobriety and no matter what the outcome of the call, I was willing to work actively to get sober. My second 30 days have been much better in large part to having a sponsor.
I know how you feel Ruby. When I first came in here I couldn't write down numbers because I had an 80 pound pencil and I couldn't call anyone because I had a 60 pound phone. My advice is to pick up the phone and give her a call. It will probably brighten her day. She also may be needing someone to talk to.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
Thanks for the input, all. Tomorrow I swear to god I am going to call one person. Kick me if I'm back tomorrow evening not mentioning that I've done it! Dean, 'how's that been working for you' is so good. Something to remember!
That's awesome, Roger!
Did you call at least one person today RubyT ??? ... If not, bend over ... LOL
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Telephone therapy is important it lets us know that were not alone. Action is always required, those people give out there number so they will be able help.
