Or something like that...Happy New year Family do this one with me...give me feedback from your own experiences.
I was working my business this morning like I always do...gardening/landscaping for a local hotel. Some guy with a German accent came up to me and took my rake saying not asking, "Let me use this for a minute please" and walked off to stand in post for his wife who had a camera. He smiled his best German smile for his wife who took the picture. I turned to look at her and she was embarrassed at him and I just shrugged it off. I've seen the look before in my escapades from the past. The man returned my rake with a thanks and walked back to his wife who was wearing a weak smile and I turned to go back to work. Later on in the afternoon I was surprised by this fellow who came back to me with a container wrapped in paper towels. "I'm leaving right away and going back to Germany and can't take this with me, It's a beer I had left". I told him "I don't drink" and he extended the can toward me. "Maybe my friend will want it I said" and I took the beer. I've never held a 24 oz. can of beer in my life and he left and I didn't make issue any longer. I put it on a railing and finished my work. I picked it up and looked at it...of course it would be foreign made...my memories started to jabber...I use to drink a foreign make and I liked their malt. I looked at the label closer...sure enough 100% malt...hmmmm I'm ready to put my brain up for sale because along with the inspection its doing justifications..."can't throw it away...never have done that right"? "Its too important a part of the culture". "Somebody can use this"....bla bla bla. The justifications were good...catchy and historical. I listened to them and decided to give it to a friend. God 24oz sure weighs alot more than I was used to (34 years ago). Here comes my friend who told me that he drank "rarely...once and awhile". "Hey D., I've got a 24 oz foreign brewed all malt beer in this can...take it". Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...He said to me what I wanted to say to the donator..."No thanks, I don't drink anymore", then he turned to walk away and I was nicely surprised because when he and I met he did drink. We've had more than several conversations regarding drinking as a problem and I've remembered my sobriety with him. "No thanks I don't drink anymore"...Okay pour it out and recycle the can...the next right thing. Don't know if the can will fetch a few more cents coming from a foreign brewer. I poured it in the ground next to a plant and didn't feel any remorse or need to go over old memories. I'm listening.
Nice one, Jerry! The universe has a funny sense of humour. We were talking about self-preservation in a meeting today, and being around alcohol/having alcohol around. Great example of doing the next right thing, and one that will certainly help me.
Few things went thru the vast universe between my ears reading this,,First,I probably would have also accepted the 24oz'er after saying I know longer drank alcohol because it would seem to me it was this German man's gesture of repaying you for picking up your rake,invading your space and not asking rather just taking.. Secondly,even though I was holding the BOMB!! I would not fear as I have worked thru that ,as you have over many, many cups of coffee.If I was near my refrigerator I may have taken it in the house and saved for an event where someone else in my family(my father in law (84 years old likes a good beer,I also used many oceans full of guiness,lowenbrau and malts or anything!! etc)came over. 3rdly,meeting the friend that said "no thank you I no longer drink" is just another opportunity to continue to carry the message of recovery(imagine him maybe thinking "I thought Jerry was sober" :)So dumping it for me would be a natural reaction if the previous wasnt available..Its funny though even to this day a quick whiff of the ethanol still flips my stomach due to so many years of poisoning,a true blessing for me.. So I just spent sometime in the garden with you,glad the man came back to you,(eliminates any resentment buildup)glad you have an increased opportunity to share with your friend and glad the liquid may help to GROW something rather than Kill it!(not sure if beer will grow a plant)!! Peace my brother....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Closest thing that I've experienced is going to lunch with a friend at a place called 'Big Daddys' ... (restaurant & bar) ... actually there was a third person and all of us coming from a 'noon' meeting ... our other friend happened to be one of my sponsees ... It felt very awkward, but had zero effect on me and the person who brought us ... but my sponsee, with close to one year, was really unnerved and couldn't wait to get out of there ...(our seats were close to and in full view of the bar which was serving a half dozen customers ...) ...
Seeing others drink at the bar didn't bother me at all, but this used to be my sponsee's favorite bar, so he was naturally uncomfortable ... good food though ...
(footnote: ... both those companions at that lunch, years ago, have since drank ... ... ... and oddly, both have returned to regular attendance at meetings and again have nearly a year or two sober ...)
Remember: maintenance of our 'spiritual condition' is imperative to good sobriety ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I loved that story! I once poured out the rest of my gin on some weeds because I heard it would kill them and using it on weeds seemed better than going down the drain. My husband hadnt wanted me to drink anymore. The weeds did not die, the marriage did.
Great story, Jerry! This brings to mind several situations I've found myself in. My loyal vice that I'm not yet ready or willing to part with is smoking cigarettes.. I smoke a brand that's not all that readily available BUT there's a liquor store close by my house that sells them. I often go there to buy cigarettes.. Also happens to be a store that has a fantastic selection of wines. I used to go there (usually already drunk) to buy higher end wine when i was trying to make myself feel better about being an alcoholic by being a wine snob. I know- the games we used to play! At first, I felt awkward going in there to buy smokes..surrounded by wine and seeing the clerk that had witnessed me stumbling around the store slurring about French wine. Now, it feels comfortable. I find it more strange that I feel comfortable standing in line to buy smokes only, but I'm really not all that tempted by the booze. Another situation i encounter on occasion is at work. A few nights a week I work at a bistro style restaurant that emphasizes selling wine. I'm pretty good at selling wine, and customers will once in a while offer me a taste, or leave some in the bottle for me. Man, I used to pray for this! Eyeing the bottle as I poured it for them like a starving person. It's a bit strange to give that offered wine to a coworker or pour it out..I'm still not fully comfortable with it, actually. I'm new to sobriety so im still finding out what my " triggers" are, and very strange to find that certain situations that I think will be tempting or dangerous are not at all, while others that I thought I would be fine with are not.
Jerry, you just told my story...lol! Same everything only I was up in a tree pruning it in a hotel when these guys came up to me...Japanese...and presented me with a bottle of 12 year aged whiskey. I took it to my home group and asked them what I should do with it (I was only a year sober at the time) and one old guy said to me, "keep it, you might need it one day!" I took it home and packed it in a box and put it at the bottom of the pile and forgot about it. About 6 years later my son found it and drank it...yes, he was an adult! To this day I can't believe I forgot about it...giggle! But in those days I was making 3-5 meetings a day and working in between. I just couldn't bare to pour it out and I only had friends in AA so had nobody to give it to.
Mahalo for the feedback and God some of it scared me into gratitude...there but for he grace of God, every saint and angel available to keep it away from my lips. I'm humbled and remember that God doesn't give me anymore than I can handle. Mahalo and Happy New Years Eve...((((hugs))))
