Gladly, I got this "uncertainty" out of the way, in the first two years of trying to get sober. I have a lot of gratitude about being a solid garden variety drunk. To answer your question, yes I did. If you can drink "an occasional Bailey's" and not go on a binge, you'll probably not an alcoholic. I hate to say that but It's probably true. And because you're drinking ocassionally, you're wondering why.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 26th of December 2012 06:50:29 PM
Aloha Grateful2be and welcome to the board...You didn't say if you're still going to Al-Anon and Code still. Why did you go in the first place? I first went because of my alcoholic/addict wife and not because I was affected by my family of orgin or her drinking and using. I was born and raised in the disease and had no idea about it when I got into program. I went to see if I could learn to teach her how to drink. I finally got it right and was 9 years alcohol free in Al-Anon and then because of a deeper inventory and the AA assessment and the push of a Power Greater than myself. I didn't go to Al-Anon to stop my drinking I went to learn a better way of living was an enabler born and raised in the disease of addiction part of which was that I chose addicted women for partners and spouses. After 9 dry years in Al-Anon I took an honest assessment; the 23 questions, and with new awareness and understanding I added the rooms of AA as "alcoholic". Today I'm a double...I work both program whichs are closely related toward changed behaviors. What I found out in the assessment was that I am alcoholic and cannot have a "next" drink. I have drank to overdose 3Xs...near death events...and being chemically tollerant, I very often drank much more than a normal person would care to without the obvious physical, mental, emotional and spititual reactions. I added AA to my recovery program because a relapse; a going back to alcohol of any amount might result in the final overdose; a fatality. Alcoholism is a fatal disease after all and I am powerless over drinking in any "normal" kind of way. Additionally I am college educated on the chemical and the disease...Alcohol is a mind and mood altering drug...it isn't a food or nutriment. It's a chemical which alters and is often results in fatal consequences...I've been close and failed to cross over...I will work at continuing to fail that.
If you don't have the compulsion to drink that is telling. If you don't suffer the allergy of drinking alcohol that is important also.
Might you want to take the assessment? Do you have lots of literature from Al-Anon and/or AA about the disease of alcoholism? Have you looked up the AMA defintion of alcoholism on the AMA site and sought if it applies to you? Open AA meetings welcome everyone...sitting in open meetings with a wide open mind will help you and you can see if you have a copy of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous still laying around the house.
Keep coming back here and reading also check into the Al-Anon site and do the same... Welcome!!
((((hugs))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 26th of December 2012 10:02:03 PM
Hello. I'm new to the board, but not to reading your posts. I stopped drinking 34 years ago after waking up with a huge hangover following a night of binge drinking. Although I've never considered myself an alcoholic because I don't drink except for occasional Bailey's now, I'm not sure that I haven't been on a 34 year dry drunk. I have attended Al Anon and Codependency Anonymous, but I seem to relate most now to AA folks although I don't have horror stories to tell that happened after 30 years. Is there anyone on this site who has questioned this themselves? That although they might not drink, they question whether or not they could be a problem drinker if given the drink and saying yes to it in earnest?
Welcome gratefultobe, ... All I'm going to say, is if you've never experienced what 'craving' the next drink is, then you probably don't need AA ... However, our principles to living life are good for any and everyone ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thank you. I am from a large family - many of my siblings drink to excess daily. My son is cross-addicted. My deceased husband was cross-addicted, too. Given the reality of so many persons in my family who are excessive drinkers (and I won't say alcoholic because only they can answer that question) and because I can relate to some of what I've read here, I thought it best to ask. I appreciate your feedback.
I'm not sure what I'm doing in responding. I may have responded to both you and the other gentleman, Pappy, at the same time. But, if I didn't - thank you for your response. That helps me immensely to know that two of you shared your experience with me and no, I don't crave the next drink. I won't keep it in my house because I haven't been sure if I could be an alcoholic in denial and have mostly drank something I have to finish at the bar or in my friend's home. I am glad you are okay with me reading your posts. They do help me live my life better.
You stopped drinking all those years ago for a reason and most likely the reason is true today. Before you decide that you are not an alcoholic and start drinking again (from my time in AA I have learned an alcoholic can start drinking again, control it for a short time and then quickly go back to alcoholic drinking with all it's consequences). My suggestion is for you to join an AA group, get a sponsor, and give the program 90 days. After that you will be in a better position to answer your own question. A normal drinker doesn't usually spend a lot of time wondering if they are alcoholic. Good Luck.
Thank you, Jimman. I stopped drinking because I didn't want to wrap myself sick around a toilet and wake up with a hangover again so severe that I told my boss I had to go home because I did have a hangover and was too sick to work. Didn't want to do that to myself again.
Jimman, you might not have read gratefulebe's opening post completely. She is drinking ocassionally (Bailey's). Grateful2be, we consider periods of sobriety absolute, and if one of us was to take a drink, chances are very good, we'd be headed to a bar or liquor store that day. I know that I would. On top of that, our tolerance to booze is next to nothing. Whereas I could drink a 12 pack of beer and still function pretty well, 4 beers would probably make it hard to walk. If you can enjoy an ocassional drink and not obsess about having 3 or 4 more, then you're likely in the clear, for now lol
By the Grace of God in another 2 weeks I will celebrate 39 years of continuous sobriety..I'm conditioned not to drink.. I know that..but every day I ask my higher power to keep me sober today..pray and meditate... and try the best I can to lead a life according to the steps.. a Christmas party yesterday I was continuously surrounded by drinkers and alcohol....I had a good time
I heard a saying a long time ago and it's quite true for me...I rather live my life sober believing that I am an Alcoholic than as a drunk trying to convince myself that I am not.
Thank you for the feedback. I do think that my concerns about it are enough for me to continue my once in awhile drink out. I do appreciate all that you post here. It helps me re-arrange my own stinky thinking at times and gives me ideas that I might not have without reading your shares. I think I might have been drinking to excess until I stopped, but I'm not chemically dependent on alcohol or I couldn't have stopped on my own. I was concerned that maybe I was a dry drunk that needed AA since I just don't know enough about the disease and how it affects people especially given the cunning, baffling parts of it. Thank you so much for your help. I'm a recovery codependent, but it doesn't sound like I get to sign up for being a "double winner."
And I have to say - I admire those of you who can hang out with people who are drinking at parties. I just can't stand much of it. I go to weddings and leave at 8 as I know there will be those who will keep drinking until they're falling down or fighting. I am so glad you are doing what you need to do to keep yourselves sane and well. I've been in Al-Anon in earnest for about 12 years when my son was starting down the backside of his illness. I could divorce his Dad, but I knew I couldn't divorce my son. There were times that the greatest help I got was not from Al-Anonics like myself but recovering Alcoholics who were more experienced with what my son was suffering. If it hadn't been for "the guys and the gals" on the other side of the same disease, I don't know how well I would have been able to advance. I was glad for Al Anon, but I'm equally glad for AA and open AA meetings and this wonderful board. Thank you for being so welcoming and helpful.
