Dad is trying to complicate our "food for Christmas" in various ways today. I allowed him to say everything he needed to. Then I simply said: "I hope you don't worry too much more about this. It will be fine however it turns out." He can not generate thoughts like that on his own sometimes I guess.
It helps me to remember he doesn't know how to stop himself from doing this. In a way it's sad, and although I feel compassion for it, I also rely on the simple fact that just because he wants a controlled environment, doesn't mean I have to. There is no way to find love and joy in "stuff", but when you don't know how to express or feel those feelings in any other way, we scramble endlessly in "stuff" to find a way sometimes. It's like digging for gold in a sandbox with no gold.
I don't have to follow any of the rules or agreements this Christmas if I don't want to. He doesn't either. None of us do. Overall, no one's life will be ruined, and I am not participating for the outcome, I'm participating to be participating.
We are not bound to giving and receiving in certain ways. We're always practicing at being better "receivers", allowing other people to feel the joy in giving is a gift to them in itself. We can practice thinking of others this Christmas in a healthy way that does not lead back to just thinking of ourselves.
Things do not have to be how they've always been. I can decide to allow this Christmas to be a learning experience of how to receive a gift with gratitude for having the people in my life who are giving. For getting something at all, and that I have everything I need and be grateful for just that. For realizing I have "privileged people's" problems. This can be a time to practice humility and human social interaction that is new and different for us... aka... real hugs instead of stiff ones or hand shakes... kind words and joy for the giver, that they could have their moment of giving and those wonderful feelings that go along with it. This can be a time to remember how lucky I am to have the ones I love in my life today.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Thanks for helping to bring me back down to earth ... ... ... Every year, it seems, that celebrating Christmas becomes less important to me ... for me? ... it starts the day after Halloween when the Xmas commercials start bombarding our TV screens ... To me, Christmas takes on much less significance when we get ourselves lost in the commercialism and the push to buy certain products takes center stage ... materialism has come to replace the real joy of expressing true love for one's family and it's this sentiment that causes me to wish for Xmas to pass quickly sometimes ...
justadrunk wrote:
There is no way to find love and joy in "stuff", but when you don't know how to express or feel those feelings in any other way, we scramble endlessly in "stuff" to find a way sometimes. It's like digging for gold in a sandbox with no gold.
We are not bound to giving and receiving in certain ways. We're always practicing at being better "receivers", allowing other people to feel the joy in giving is a gift to them in itself. We can practice thinking of others this Christmas in a healthy way that does not lead back to just thinking of ourselves.
Things do not have to be how they've always been. I can decide to allow this Christmas to be a learning experience of how to receive a gift with gratitude for having the people in my life who are giving. For getting something at all, and that I have everything I need and be grateful for just that. For realizing I have "privileged people's" problems. This can be a time to practice humility and human social interaction that is new and different for us... aka... real hugs instead of stiff ones or hand shakes... kind words and joy for the giver, that they could have their moment of giving and those wonderful feelings that go along with it. This can be a time to remember how lucky I am to have the ones I love in my life today.
Thanks for your thoughts here Tasha ... you have reminded me that Christmas is only going to be for me what I make out of it ... regardless of who gets what gifts, it's not for me to sit in judgement on whether one person is more deserving than the next ... not my job ... I am realizing once again that it is the fact that I am with family and love them even with all our faults ... real hugs, real kisses, real joy ... a time for gratitude ... and finally realizing that the real gift to me is that which my Father in Heaven, my 'Higher Power', felt I needed, His Love ...
Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Was that a letter to your sister? It was well put. I don't know if I could have that sort of talk with someone in my family. You are just really awesome Tasha.
