Good Days and Bad Days

Toni Baloney · MIP Old Timer

Good Days and Bad Days

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Howdy Toni...Dont know how you feel about it..but when I continuously hear about others being happy and serene...all the time...the things that come to my mind...are heavy medication..the weed programme..or EVERYTHING is going THEIR way...

If I was happy all the time...I wouldnt need AA..lol

I know this guy thought, he had the world by the tail for 15 years of sobriety..kinda just cruised..everything was going great...then it caved in...

For 15 years I could talk a pretty good talk..but when the shit hit the fan...It took a long time to start..walking the walk..and Im still learning...

Just had an aquaintance..with the same thing...24 years...knew all the answers..could tell you how to change your life..and how to work your program...shit hit the fan...and the same thing...CRASH!!

Anyone that can share with me..that they are happy and content ...all the time..I just say to myself "Bullshit" and.I just stand back and watch, what happens...next..

Ive seen a lot of people in this program go back out after long periods of sobriety...because of the big "I Am" stuff...and "Ive got the tiger by the tail"

This kid...has to work it hard..each and every day...be humble...teachable..and be willing to change...which takes action..its an ongoing thing..and Im human--I screw up a lot of the time.....and I might be totally happy and serene...ohhh--in maybe...2099.:)

This emotional balance stuff...takes work...12 steps...whatever it takes..

Theres always a light at the end of the tunnel...but remember...It could be an oncomming train!! :)

Have a good night.

Dave Harm · Senior Member

Hi Toni -

Phil is right, no one can be that happy all the time. Just sit back and watch - their "sickness" will raise its head sometime. Be happy, that you can have a good day and then a bad day. You are feeling it! You are experiencing it! AA groups, like many of our old bars, have different crowds. I visited many bars in my lifetime, but only a few were "home." The same feelings happened with my AA groups. In my early days, I had two groups I really loved being around. They seemed to understand me and I fit right in. My third group, I never felt comfortable in and it bothered me for a long time. I finally realized, that with that group, I had no control, I wasn't in charge and I wasn't one of "the good old boys." I realized that this is what I needed. I needed to learn how to follow and let someone else be in charge. Overtime, I began to fit in and then my awakening took place. That uncomfortable third group had taught me more then the other two groups. Between the three groups I was able to experience all my different personalities in different circumstances and realized that I had a bunch of character defects to get rid of and some good points which I needed to work on. None of it would have been possible if I quit going to that "uncomfortable" meeting.

Best of luck,
Dave Harm
creating dreams, from the ashes of hell

GammyRose · MIP Old Timer

Hey Toni, as I always say"This too shall pass", that goes for the bad days and the good days , the feeling of being on top of the world and that crap happens all the time, nothing stays the same in the real world, it's constanly changing, if it's not we might not be alive...hmmm. Anyway let time take time, the group will become home if you keep going .

Glad you are here.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

amanda2u2 · MIP Old Timer

well,, a couple of thoughts come to mind.. 'denial' is when we block off from consciousness certain unpleasant things that we don't want to face, I do that when I go into my 'Doris Day' mode.. the other is what's called the 'pink cloud' which is when we really do feel great and are riding high because we are sober, and because we are healthier and things are going better, and this doesn't last because sooner or later something is going to go wrong and bring us down. An AA concept is to work on having an attitude of gratitude which is to focus on the positive side of things and on 'acceptance' and I do find that I am much happier on average than before recovery when I was a very negative thinker in 'Janis Joplin' mode. Well, so which of these is why this person says she feels happy all the time, of course, I can't say. But if we are feeling bad cuz she is feeling good, and watching and waiting for her to fall because our misery loves company then we need to learn and grow.

My own experience has been that my family of origin was always very negative and I grew up being very negative and I have felt strange when other people are laughing and chattin and bantering, cuz I didn't know how to do that,,, and I spent a lot of time being depressed. I am working hard on being a more positive person,, and that lady? I don't know. Other people in the program? I don't have to be so anxious about them any more, cuz .. well.. I have developed my self enough now to not be so intimidated or moved by what other people do,, I can more let them do their thing while I do mine, which is amazing cuz it means I am learning to establish boundaries.

love in recovery,

amanda

zoomie · Senior Member

Wow, a lot of good things have already been said.

I remember when I first got sober a long time ago before my slip. I'd see these happy people all the time and I would wonder what was wrong with me. I honestly thought that I was not working a program,but in truth it was me too not facing reality. It's all about perception both mine and thiers.

I was so busy looking at them and compairing myself,that I got confused about how everyone is an individual with or without a program. Today still I get all huffy when people talk about turning everything over to God. I'm more of a foot work type and my thoughts gear twards "God gave us all self will." I mean God does not put thoughts in my head or his will,or I'd be in the hosptial. I finally figured it out though that God does want us to do the right thing and the right thing is what you learn as a kid and what is right for where you live at now. Anyway it seems the people whom are most happy are the ones who are doing "Gods" will meaning they are not taking responcibility in the real world about thier real true feelings. It's almost like shrugging the good and the bad feelings on any situation and saying it's not my feelings it's God's will,but then again ignorance is bliss and that is how people cope. Happy is happy just as sober is sober no matter how you do it in my book.

I have a very hectic life being I have 6 kids and a soon to be ex. At any given moment I could be happy,sad, or very pissed. I'v learned through the program and through some professional help that it is acceptance of my feelings that is also "God's will" and normal. At any rate when happy moments do come or very good days I lap them up knowing as stated above "that this too shall pass" and to try to do things that will make me happy. When I have bad days I cannot wait to go to bed knowing that if I take one day at a time,things always turn over the next day. LOL, some times it turns over worse than the day before,but at lest I have had a good ngiht's sleep. I'm also am a firm believer in HALT. Am I hungry, angery,lonely or tired and try to do foot work to insure I'm none of those. I'm a lot happier than I was when drinking. I focus on my program which at times is a diversion to the mess my life is in. That to me is turning it over. So far today is a good day. Not because I'm free of problems,or have lots of money. Right at this moment I'm doing things I love to do which is write on the computer and have my coffee. I to also try to keep things simple. Who knows if in a hour one of my kids will have a melt down and not want to go to school. My sponcer could die today, a bill collector could call... I am happy right now. To the always happy people, I say "what ever floats your boat". I have true happiness and it's more meaningful because I know what troubled waters are and am greatful for the wind.