I took my niece shopping for my alcoholic mom for Xmas and she got her a wine glass. This is the second one she's bought her. I don't really know what to say.

I generally get people gifts that match what they want, I mean I won't get someone Heroin or a needle, but a beer T-Shirt or beer mug for a beer drinker makes good sense, the BB talks about being intolerant of drinking as an institution, it says drinkers won't put up with that stupidity, it's the only place in the BB it says "don't be stupid", personally I took note of that in a book that described my delusional insanity to a "T" and was really quite kind and gentle about all of it, didn't call any of my behavior stupid or idiotic, it said it was insanity, but it was making a point that I was insane and here's how to get sane, but it only said "don't be stupid" once.

 

We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experiences shows that this attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by someone who hates it.

 

This doesn't mean I won't get them something else they might like, but it means I am not intolerant towards drinking or drinkers, it's no good for me and it's not helpful to them, the one thing I do however ALWAYS do, and have for decades is I ALWAYS have my own ride to events where there is drinking so I can quietly take my leave whenever I choose, whether it's Xmas, Thanksgiving, someones house, dinner, it's just something I learned to never place myself in the power of a drinker, whether I am waiting for them and I can't leave or something else, but that is a personal choice and has saved me no end of grief over the years, I am no ones designated driver ever...

 

just my .02, once again I am not recomending any of this as a course of action for anyone else, I'm just saying how I think and what I do, I have bought pothead friends pipes or bongs, beer drinking friends T-shirts and mugs, friends and dates at dinner glasses of wine, I'm the one that can't drink, not them.

-- Edited by LinBabaAgo-go on Friday 7th of December 2012 01:43:06 PM

NA bear?

Thanks everyone. I was more just observing how EVERY gift has revolved around beer for him, and that just never clicked with me before today lol.

I am getting him a can crusher compactor garbage can. LOL - for his beer cans of course, that's the only thing he drinks from a can : )

He told me he wanted it this morning, and like it was mentioned above, I'm certainly not intolerant of his drinking... I've said my peace about it already (before I knew better of course) and now it just is what it is. We've had some really great conversations about AA and mostly cuz he's still my dad, and I want him to know how excited I am about my recovery. It's what's going on with me, and he is still my best friend... he listens VERY intently and as best he can being he doesn't have his own program. I'm so proud of him.