This is a follow up to a previous post I had written about having to kick my son out of my home.  You can read that post at http://alanon.activeboard.com/t51579198/needing-support/

As stated in that post, I had brought my 32 yr A-son to North Carolina from Texas because he said he wanted to get sober and needed a fresh place to start over, since his diease had taken everything of value to him.  Family, Home, Job, License, Car... he had everything that was left of a rather good life in two suit cases.

Well, the diease progressed.  He got here, had drank within the first week, and after being here for over 2 months, I truly do not believe he actually put together more than 7-10 days of sobreity together at a time before drinking again throughout the whole time he has been here.  Of course, he did this drinking in hiding, to the best of a alcholics ability, which wasn't so slick.  Like, duh, "I'll break the ignition on my dad's truck so I can use it for a beer run, and he won't figure out a thing",... "I'll wipe out my dads little coin kitty of all it's silver coins, leaving only the pennies and he'll never notice"..."I'll get to his pants while he is sleeping and he'll never notice I split the money in his pockets with him"... "Dad's in the kitchen making a pot of morning coffee... he left his pants on the livingroom floor again!   Surely, he has a few more bucks in those pockets I can split with him again, and he'll never figure it out..."  Keep in mind that I am watching him pick up my pants, and put his hand in my pocket via a mirror that is in the dinning room, and that let's me see the whole living room where he is doing this.  I am literally watching my son's diease steal from me!  Well, as stated, I walk into the livingroom and he, not knowing I was watching him through the mirror in the dinning room, drops my pants, and pretends he is picking up my dogs toys and putting them in the toy area.  I don't say anything, I just pick my pants up and put them on.  His hand had reached into the wrong pocket, so he didn't get any money this time.

Keep in mind I was also just informed that he got a woman preg as well.  So, now my son, a alcoholic is about to become a dad to his 5th child!!

I know I have to try to calm the anger that is inside me, I know how bad this situation can get real quick between my son and I.  I know that I have put up with all I am going to.  Again, we are not talking about a lot of money, maybe 30.00 altogether over a period of a few weeks.  But damn, I don't measure stealing by the amount involved or how frequently it's done.  When you take something from someone else without their consent you are stealing.  To me, it doesn't get bigger than that.  So, I'm both pissed off and hurt, yet trying to remember... "hate the diease, not the sufferer"  "He is not a bad person that needs to get good, but a sick person that needs to get well"....blah, blah, blah... I am trying to keep things in the right prospective while at the same time... I want to give him a real tight hug with both hands around his darn neck!

So, I start my day without saying a word about it, asking my Higher Power to guide me, show me, let me not personalize his diease as being about me but about a spiritual void, or hole in his soul that he is trying to find any thing to feel it up with.  What would that be for a alcoholic??  Well, beer is a good start, money is a good blank filler, and of course... attachment to another human being that needs the alcoholic... an untreated Al-Anon.  (woman he got preg is a single mother of a 5 yr old daughter).

Well, as I said, by the end of the day, this situation has eaten my lunch all day.  I cannot find any way around it, I must do what no parent ever wants to be put in a position to do, release the adult child, let go, trust God, and kick him to the curb.  And so, I did.  He was told to leave immediately that evening.  I haven't heard from him since, and its been about 2 weeks.  I just keep asking my Higher Power to watch over him.

Now, I sadly, (and at same time, happily) bring you uptodate on current events.  

This was a great weekend!!  Saturday night I went on a date that was like ... Wow!!  It involved going to a pre wedding party for some country bumkins where they name their sons "Billy Bob" "Bubba" and their daughter "Mary Lou".  For entertainment they do stuff like tractor pulls, 4 wheel in the mud, hunt... and the discussion around the fire is who has the biggest angus bull and how much crop they sold this season... just real country fied folks.  (I'm pretty much city fied) This is my dates family and friends.  Our first date.  She doesn't drink so they use her as the designated driver to make sure they can all get home after the party.  I knew what I was going to be doing on this date.  Helping her get drunks in and out of her car, walking them to their door, and seeing they got inside their homes safely.  I must admit, she and I laughed so much that my stomach was sore.  You know a drunk can be pretty darn funny sometimes.  Especially when they are all natural Larry the Cable Guys!  LOL  I must admit some of them looked like they were having more fun than me, but at the same time I was grateful that I don't have to wake up the next day inside their heads, trying to remember what the heck we did the night before and if I owe any one an apology.  Well, our last trip as the designated driver team was around 3am.  These country folks really had a blast at their party.  I'm about an hour and a half from home where this is taking place.  So, it would be around 430 -500am before I get to pull back into my driveway.  Then, suddenly, I knew I was about to get blessed!  She asked me if I'd like to spend the night and get some rest before driving home!  Her version of spending the night with her and mine was a bit different... I ended up sleeping on the couch in the livingroom!  LMAO!

We wake in the morning, have coffee.. she shows me her 2 horses, her 2 chickens, her 2 pigs, 2 donkey's, 2 goats... 2 dogs....gawh, I felt like I entered the twight zone of Noah's Ark! LOL  We decide to ride into town to see if the feed store is open.  This town doesn't even have a stop sign, no less a light!  If they did have a stop sign it would have to say "WHAO" on it because that's how they say "Stop" in the country. LOL  She ask me.. "if you don't have to leave right away, would you go with me to hear a christian quartet group singing at a church this evening?"  (Now that's what I call LIVE entertainment! NOT! LOL)  I am trying to get a read on all this country stuff and all my brain is saying is..."who the hell ever thought of putting a paved road out here in the middle of nowhere and then moving here to live??" I agree to go see this quartet group sing before leaving this fine Sunday afternoon.  This Quartet group is 4 men, who without a doubt impressed me beyond belief!  I was so taken by their songs, how they performed, their voices, and lacking any other way to say it... the spirit of God they exposed this church and the people in it to.  Awesome!  

Then my phone begins beeping loudly during one of the songs... oops, forgot to turn off the volumn on it.  I struggle to get to it, a bit embarassed about it, to get it turned off, and I see its an incoming text message. After getting the ringer beeping crap turned off, I look at the message.. it says...

Your son is in jail on a felony B&E and larceny charge.  Bond is 10,000.00.  

My heart sinks.  I must have turned whiter than I already am, because several of these country folks ask quietly... "everything okay?"  "You alright".

I whisper to the lady I'm with..."I have to step outside to make a phone call, be right back".  I leave the church, and she follows me.  Outside, she is asking so I tell her whats going on... She puts her hands on my shoulders and says... "have you really asked God to take care of him?"  I say I have, and she looks at me intensely and then says..."then He is... let Him and don't do a thing, stay out of His way, come back inside, finish enjoying this great group and trust..."Your son is exactly where he is suppose to be and it's not all bad, at least you don't have to worry about him any more.  He is not in the cold and he will eat three times a day and with some luck God will reach him".  I kinda laugh, and tell her, "you sound like one of my friends from a 12 step program, that would have said exactly the same thing."  She says, "I've been in Al-Anon for over 25 years.  You really think I could put up with my alcoholic family, which you saw last night, without that program?"

We went back inside, no phone call made, absolutely enjoyed this quartet group, laughed and smiled, clapped, just had a good time... and I looked around this church, the people there... and it became surreal in a way, the noise level quieted for just a moment and I was washed over with a feeling of...

Everything is exactly the way it's suppose to be at this moment in time.

I'm going to be alright... and so is my son... and so are all these country bumkin's!

This lady asked me... "you sure you can't spend the night again?"  I asked... "does that mean sleeping on your couch?"  She smiled and said, "I'll have to think about that"...

The rest of the story I will leave to your imaginations....  :)