Great share, RT. Sounds like my first meeting. I felt like some people were definitely sharing my experiences. They KNEW.
I'm so glad you raised your hand to be acknowledged and welcomed. I have seen some newcomers fail to raise their hand--simply out of confusion or fear.
Try to go to as many meetings as you can. To learn and to stay connected to the program. Ask for help.
Some people suggest 90 meetings in 90 days. But that is never a requirement since, obviously, it depends on work/family/transportation/health factors. Just do as many as you can as meetings are very important in AA. It's the place/time where a lot of recovery happens.
Finally, it's up to you who tell. I didn't tell many people at all. Even after sveral years, I still hadn't told some family and friends.
-- Edited by Tanin on Saturday 1st of December 2012 01:34:26 PM
My first meeting was the hardest to get to. I couldn't find it. I got there late. It was a speaker meeting. I identified with everything the speaker said. When my turn to share came around (round robin), I busted out crying and stated "it took all my strength to just get here. I just broke up with my partner of 7 years. I crashed my car. I ruined my whole life with my drinking. I am staying with a friend and I have not had a drink in 3 days." At that point everyone clapped and I was astounded. They hugged me at the end of the meeting. They gave me a free big book. They gave me phone numbers (many are still good friends 4 years later). They drew maps for me to the local clubhouse. They told me "you never have to drink again" and 'you are home."
The way I was treated at my first AA meeting was critical in terms of why I kept coming back. It was amazing. Glad you had a good experience.
There is nothing weird about not telling others. That's part of the reason for the "anonymous" part of AA. In your time and in your way you will figure out what is right.
I was pretty transparent and have always been. I told family right away. I was really serious (not saying you arent) but I pondered AA for a very long time before going and once I got there, it was like I was already a member. All I had to do was get there. Hence, I was ready to fully embrace it from the get go.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Saturday 1st of December 2012 02:45:55 PM
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I went yesterday, and I was surprised by how many people were there. I thought Friday at noon, maybe ten people... there were over forty people there for sure. It was a womens meeting. When the chair asked if there were any newcomers I didn't put my hand up until the last second, but I'm glad I did. As a result of having a newcomer there they decided to focus on step one, and a lot of people shared. I couldn't believe how often I was nodding my head in recognition of people's experiences. They passed around a piece of paper and gave me a list of phone numbers, and one woman came up to me after and told me who she was and that her name was on the list and I should give her a call anytime.
I haven't told a soul in my real life that I went to the meeting yesterday. Not even my husband. Is that really weird?
After 30 days I still have told only 2 friends. My family doesn't know yet either. I just keep coming back and things are getting better. I feel understood and accepted for the first time in my life.
What was my first meeting like? A total blur. I spent most of the previous night slurping whiskey through a straw. I have no recollection of waking up, let alone making it to a meeting. What I do remember, though, was barely worth mentioning, besides the meeting itself. Yeah, the coffee was toxic, but the speaker was electrifying. He told my story from start to finish. That's why he became my 'first' sponsor.
Maybe it was fate after all, or maybe I was just so tired all the time: Tired of spending so many nights in defeat. Maybe it was God's way of getting my attention, or maybe the meeting was just 'that' good. I was in awe either way. Then, as a surprise, each individual person shared their own personal journey. It was the group's anniversary and as such each person shared a little about themselves. Wow, talk about feeling grateful. If I hadn't felt like the "prodigal son" already, I did then. It was a meeting, though, I wouldn't forget.
I had to think long and hard after this encounter, especially with everything that had happened. But I couldn't turn a blinds eye to the truth any longer. I had to give recovery one last shot or spend whatever years I had left drinking myself into oblivion. If that meeting wasn't convincing enough, what else could be said? I had my first real taste at freedom, and I must say it felt awesome. It was my first real glimpse at sobriety and one I needed to embrace. If not, I would die a miserable fool. After 11 years sober, I can honestly say it was worth all the effort. And that first meeting, of course, was the reason why. I have now spent the past 11+ years making up for the first 30. Hopefully, that will continue. Onward....
~GodBless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Sunday 2nd of December 2012 02:00:06 AM
My first meeting was a pacific group meeting, and it was awful. My second meeting was amazing, and I knew this was going to be where I was going to finally get "cured" lol. I knew AA was the answer but I didn't want to take so much time for me yet. Finally after a short sobriety period of a few weeks, and a few weeks of drinking again, I was back at my "first" meeting with my heart open, my ears open, my mind willing, my soul exposed... it's been that way ever since really... and what a wonderful ride!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
My "first meeting" was at another 12 step fellowship, and I knew before I even went in that I was "home", and warmly welcome. I was ready to deal with what brought me there, but in deep denial about my problems with alcohol. This was back before alcohol came to be seen as a "drug" like the street stuff, when many "clean" addicts kept drinking without it being an issue if they didn't seem to have a problem. My friends in that other fellowship thought that I did have a problem though--and eventually I very reluctantly went to some open meetings just to prove I didn't belong there.
In my experience, back in the day, some alcoholics looked down on drug addicts (way down!) but lemme tell ya, the reverse is true as well! I was not pleased to be in the company of a "bunch-a-drunks with no class". Like a doper chick is the epitomy of elegance and grace! But those farty old drunks had something I wanted---I just didn't know it yet, so I stuck around, with attitude, not gratitude. Of course, the rest is history. It took three years, but I finally "got it" the day I came to after a 3 day binge, on the floor in a pool of vomit, with my youngster asking if she could have a TV dinner 'cause she was hungry and mommy was too sick to cook. And I had been driving her back and forth to school in a complete blackout, each of those 3 days. The next meeting--3 very shaky hungover days later--is the one I consider my "real" first meeting. And so far, my the last "first". And that bunch-a-drunks? They showed so much class, welcoming me back, and gracing me, again, with the white chip!
My first meeting convinced me that I was an alcoholic. It only took me twenty-two years to make it to my second meeting. Yea, I am kinda stubborn that way. Now, I can't imagine a week without at least one meeting and I have grown to love my home group like family. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
My first meeting? Well it was full of happy, smiling people that kept standing up and telling the story of my life except they'd added a happily ever after on the end instead of the 'and then he had another drink and stuffed up some more of his life' that usually ended my life story.
It was full of love. It was full of hope. And I was home.
My first meeting I drove down to dallas because I was afraid someone would recognize me! It was a speaker meeting and the guy told my story almost word for word. I bawled though the whole thing and took a chip at the end. The real funny part is that I told people it was a Sunday and at 15 years sober I finally looked at a calendar and found out it was a Wednesday! First meetings are great memories!
I love to hear people when they say they felt right at home on their first meeting, that they identified...........so different to my first meeting. I spent the time listening and saying to myself - nope, never done that, nope never wanted to do that, nope, nope, nope.
Then i talked to someone and said well yeah, but I've never (xyz)......and this other person, a woman, kept saying YET.
Finally, pissed off, I said what do you mean with all this YET bullshit. She said, well you haven't lost your licence YET, gone to jail YET, lost your job YET, lost your home, YET, lost your sanity, your liberty and finally your life YET. But keep drinking lad and Your Entitled To (YET!)
Smartarse, if it were a bloke I'd a probably smacked him, but not a woman, no,no,no.
It was the second meeting where I got a little, little bit of identification.........
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
YET is so true. There are some things that I haven't done with my drinking and it's not because it couldn't happen it's because I've been lucky in my circumstances or who has been around me. I've known for a long time I've been on borrowed time with it, why do I want to wait for the absolute worst?
