Before recovery, when I got to the bottom I just moved over and started digging another hole. I would leave jobs, relationships, and even states looking for a different solution. I didn't have a God in my life, so there was no turning it over. It wasn't until I had broken my shovel and hit my final bottom that I was ready to admit complete defeat.
When I came into the rooms, I heard a lot about God. I didn't like it. I had given up on Him a long time ago, and I was sure He had deserted me. What I came to find out was that God was always there to help me when I hit bottom. What I also learned, years later, was that He was there for me all along - I just had to ask for help sooner.
What I now know is that I don't have to wait until I'm at my wit's end to reach out and get help from God. He lives in me and is with me every step of the way. The key that opens the lock is and always has been willingness. And today, I'm much more willing to be willing.
Today, I know I don't have to reach my wit's end to find out where God lives.
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
