Strive for balanced expectations of others. Strive for healthy tolerance.
In the past, we may have tolerated too much or too little. We may have expected too much or too little.
We may swing from tolerating abuse, mistreatment, and deception to refusing to tolerate normal, human, imperfect behaviors from people. Although it's preferable not to remain in either extreme too long, that is how people change - real people who struggle imperfectly toward better lives, improved relationships, and more effective relationship behaviors.
But if we are open to ourselves and to the recovery process, we will, at some time, begin another transition: it becomes time to move away from extremes, toward balance.
We can trust ourselves and the recovery process to bring us to a balanced place of tolerance, giving, understanding, and expectations - of others and ourselves.
We can each find our own path to balance as we begin and continue recovery.
Today, I will practice acceptance with others and myself for the way we change. If I have had to swing to the other extreme of a behavior, I will accept that as appropriate, for a time. But I will make my goal one of balanced tolerance and expectations of others and myself.
__________________
Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
I am also new to this site, but not new to recovery, I think this site is great.
I posted a note about somethnding I am going through, and it felt SO GOOD to get a loving, non-judgmental response, this Program is not like anything else, anywhere.
I just relocated to a new area, and had to start over with meetings, getting to know new people, and is is truly amazing how after a few meetings, you feel like you have been there for a long time, I think it has to do with the open-mindedness that we find, and also the presence of a Higher Power in these rooms. We are truly Blessed. I walk away from meetings and feel like I am walking a little taller than when I go in to the meeting.
Anyway, welcome to the site, I hope to hear from you !
Thank you Wagon and Toni. I had been sober for a long time a while back, slipped and staid out for years. I'v been sober now 16 months and it feels wonderful to be back "home again".
I know I would not be sober without AA. it's a wonderful program for those whom want it and need it. I'm a moderator at another forum,but I wanted to get to know new faces and learn from other's ESH. Again than you all for the nice warm welcome.
Please bare with me as I get this stuff down. I cannot find a way to Reply to a specific Reply. But I will figure it out.
Just wanted to say thanks for the article you sent, it seemed very time sensitive - you must have ESP - I was Really missing my Best Friend Annie today, and I have to admit not as an Adult, but as a little girl missing her best friend. I REALLY Needed to hear what that article spoke to. What is that old saying " Pain is a Given, Suffering - Optional" I need to REMEMBER that. In his book "the Power of NOW" Eckhart Tolle goes into detail about our individual "Pain Centers" and how we need to move through them, honoring the Pain, but remembering to move through them, not to decide to "hang out there". (My Quote)
I think from the 10+ years of Not getting this Program and going back to AA over and over and over, and feeling that "incomprehensible demoralzation" Chronically, that I remember that period of my life as chronic pain.
With more than a dozen good years in Recovery, those 10+ years have become my rock, and I strive to change for the better all the time, we really never stop growing, and with the tools of this Program, and a Spiritual path, we do change, by the Grace of God. Thanks again Phil, Toni
Welcome to Toni and Zoomie, it is always great to check in and find newbies posting. It's great to have you both here. Jump right in sharing your experience strength and hope.
Thanks Gammy and sick. ((((((((((Toni)))))))) I'm so sorry about your friend. My sponcer will be dying soon (within a month) and I'm sad about it too. He was my father I never had. (yes I'm a woman with a male sponcer). I'll have to look for another sponcer soon,but I'm holding on til after he dies out of loyalty. I'v been kind of on my own for almost a year now with him being so sick that it's going to be hard to follow direction. No more males for me LOL, he was an exception to the rule,so I'll have to find a female sponcer. I have one in mind,but she might be sick of sponcering people being she has so much time in the program,but we shall see. I'v already completed my 4th and 5th and actually have gone all through the steps and living them everyday. I have been a temp sponcer to a few (yes men) and they are all sober today I'm happy to say. I'm done though with sponcering men being I kind of want to gear twards the women now. it was a good exspericance sponcering men because when they are around women they where very respectful and needed a little mothering or sistering. It helped keep me sober. It's funny,now that I have more time in the program, I'm not so sure of myself. I'v done 12th step calls,so those whre good for me as well. My sponcer wanted me to jump right in being I had time in the program before. Now I'm just going to concentrait on myself (if that's what my new sponcer would want me to do). I'm just rambling (sorry). I kind of want someone to talk to early in the morning. Thanks again for the warm welcomes!
wagon