Being a guy, I hesitate to admit this, but I have had my moments in the meetings where I could not hold back the tears ... no matter how hard I tried not to cry ... I some how have developed more 'compassion' than I used to have ... and sometimes I am so 'overjoyed' that the tears find there way out too ... What is that??? ... Am I finally becoming human ? ...
I have also told stories in my sharing where I get so 'choked up' the words get caught in my throat ... some say that that's real 'spiritual progress' ... I don't know, but it just seems so uncomfortable at the time ... !!!
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Monday 19th of November 2012 09:59:07 AM
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. --Eileen Mayhew
We often want to sit down and cry, but the tears don't seem to come. For years we may have struggled to keep ourselves from crying because we've been made to feel that tears are a sign of weakness. And we certainly don't want to look foolish and vulnerable in front of our "tough" friends!
One of the good things about joining and building trust with a group of other recovering people is that we can let down our defenses and not feel exploited. We can show our tenderness for others and ask to be cared for. Our addiction has kept us aloof from others, but now we can begin to get close. We know we are safe now and among people who know what it means to trust and love again.
So when the tears feel like coming, we can now let them come. What a relief it is to weep for the hurt child within us or cry over a painful separation. Tears help us mourn our losses and bring us in touch with the present.
I am no longer afraid to show my emotions. I share my experiences in tears and laughter.
I couldn't believe it when I was crying through someone's share yesterday. I haven't cried in a meeting since my first blubbering month - and I realized it was a different kind of crying, and it was good. It was just feeling really sad for someone who lost their best friend, and it was totally appropriate for once. I've spent a lot of my life crying over nothing, crying too much over stuff, or not enough or whatever. It was so odd to experience "healthy crying" yesterday - and it was also awesome.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.