Hi Tasha, ...

This sounds a lot like me when I need to do some step 10 work ... This IS experience you can rely on ... It does teach me of my
impatience and 'intolerance' with others ... I have often been in meetings where I just wanted the person sharing to just shut the
eff up ... for whatever reason, they continue 'on and on' about silly stuff ... or stuff not related to recovery ...

Being the judgmental person that I am, I allowed that to bother me for a while until I realized the other person is sick too ... and
that we are all there initially for the same reason ... I can only remember one meeting I ever walked out of early ... I was way early
in recovery and didn't know squat ... today, I just sit and listen even when the sharing is so negative that I just want to scream ...
I've had thoughts of going over and shaking the sh!t out of someone and saying, you stupid idiot, don't you get it, can't you get
excited about recovery, don't you see a whole new world staring you in the face ??? ...

Recovery takes time ... Learning patience was one tough lesson for me, and still is ... just like learning to play the banjo, you can't pick it up
and expect to play in a 'Bluegrass' band right away, it takes time, practice and learning the mechanics, or principles, to making it
work ... only then will you get the beautiful music from it that it's capable of ...

I think Love and Tolerance are the lessons to be learned here ... Be the change you wish to see in the world ... else nothing matters ...


Love you girl,
Pappy

Hey Tasha,
I am pretty sure I told you to bring an air horn to meetings!! Seriously though, covering your ears and saying "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal I'm not listening" is a much better "defence tool".

Tom

LOL HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!~ Thankss

Patience and tolerance are to biggies for me. I'm still a "newcomer" but have been in plenty of meetings wondering when a person was going to get on topic, or "Oh my gosh ists been like 10min already, hurry up". I have wanted to get up and leave many times. Good Luck! :)

I think , there must be a reason why I was meant to be at this meeting .

I actually used to go to a meeting , 'that I did Not like' , they had 'their brand of

sobriety' , the rest of us did it 'aa way' "I did Not want what they had" .

My 1st meetings were 'under' the final aproach to Sydbey airport , less than 3 mile .

So every time a plane went over , my head 'wandered out' th window to th roar of

th jet engine , oooops , Patrick , listen to th speaker . We had at a particulaar meeting ,

a bloke that spooke so softly , you had to really listen hard to what he was saying , but I

was allready tol how to 'fix that' . Sit up the front , you will hear the 'good news' sooner .

I 'got chucked out' of a meeting once .

'Herself' & I , were walking through Kings Cross in Sydney , Barbara says , is there a meeting

around here . Yeah , the 'gay & lesbian' meeting is on @ 6:30 , lets go . We rocked up to th

church hall at 6:15 , all locked up . Looked around , another door was open , in we go , saw th

banners , sits down at th back . A women came over & told me I had to leave , as it was a womens

meeting , but , oh the g&l starts at 6:30 in the other hall. Even though I am 'straight' , I did not get

 chucked out of th g&l meeting , oh well . A meeting Is a meeting to me & if I thought -

I was going to too many meetings , go to two more.

Zoom, There is a reason for you getting kicked out. I only feel comfortable at womens meetings. For a multitude of reasons. I sure as heck wouldn't intrude on a mens meeting.

Hey Zoom,


Good story guess you where just working on your "Openmindedness" that night

I did not realise it was a womens meeting , I thought it was the g&l meeting ,

as most of them came straight over to the g&l when they finished .

I did not get a resentment over it . I am comfortable in any meeting , anywhere.

I know how you feel Tasha. In fact, I've been there myself numerous times. I felt just as frustrated as you have, but not always for the right reasons. Some people share like their life depends on it, while others can talk for hours without making any sense. It's the part of recovery that never seems to go away. I try to be more tolerant these days, that's all, something I'm constantly working on. The rest is a lesson in 'recovery' etiquette 101.  

Take my journey for example; I was just as guilty as the next guy when it came to intolerant behavior, not to mention my lack of enthusiasm early on. I was also a non-participant during the first 6 months or so. And my excuse, of course, was just as baffling: I was just too damn important for A.A. That's why A.A. and I never got along; our agendas never meshed. That was until the bottom dropped out, literally, then I had to make it my priority or die trying. 

I was also guilty of leaving meetings way too early, among other things. I can't count the exact number of times, maybe 10 or more meetings during the past 11+ years, but I do remember one meeting in particular. It was actually the first meeting I ever went to, and one I'll never, ever forget. The meeting went off smoothly as far as I remember, and the gentleman who just happened to be sharing was very convincing, but it wasn't good enough for me. My excuse at the time; I was really disappointed with what I heard. I wanted some real answers, but what I got instead was nothing more than A.A. lingo. So I decided to leave. It was a decision I still regret even to this day. The speaker wasn't to blame, now that I look at it, but I certainly was. It was 'my' inability to connect with others that caused me to 're-think' my strategy, and not just his story. And that's how my recovery began, actually; in a culture shock of indifference.

The beauty of hindsight, though, is actually quite simple: We can discover what went wrong the first time around and then make the appropriate changes before it becomes a total liability, again. That's what compelled me to come back after all those years: I saw people who were happy, contented and always smiling -something that was lacking in my life. So at that very moment I decided to give recovery one last chance. And the rest has been a gift for over 11+ years now, thanks be to God. I hope the same can be said of you. Thanks again for your support. Onward...

-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 10th of November 2012 02:58:23 PM

Hmmm - it's a women's meeting, it's a G&L meeting, it's a biker mice from mars meeting - but is it an AA meeting? If it is then the ONLY requirement is a desire to stop drinking, n'est ce pas? If there are other requirements, then maybe it isn't an AA meeting.

Last I heard there were two types of meting - Open, where non alcoholics can attend and closed - just for alcoholics.

Yep, this does bother me and I really don't know why as I've never yet been asked to leave - although I've felt uncomfortable once or twice - and I do try to be sensitive to others needs - I accept that there is a need for special interest groups, but if they enforce exclusivity, then to me they're not AA meetings.

Anyway, must dash, it's nearly time for the sad and lonely old bastards called Bill meeting.

The Big Book contains two versions of the traditions. The short form, convenient for hanging on walls and the long form, a more detailed explanation. These days I don't get disturbed if something is going on in a meeting that prevents me "getting something out of it", because I go to see what I can contribute. To keep it I have to give it away.

What I find disturbing, and has been mentioned above, is a meeting that loses sight of the traditions, tradition 3 that AA membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism, and tradition 5, the primary prupose of an AA group is to carry its message to the alcoholic that still suffers. I don't see it as loving (to the suffering alcoholic at their first meeting) for the group to tolerate intolerable behaviour, to allow the meeting to get so far off message that the newcomer can hear nothing of the solution, to let that newcomer leave without hope. I'm not all that sure about imposing other qualifications on membership either.

I go along with Rob's approach. First approach the group conscience to see if the format can be changed and or the chair given more support. If they don't want to change you are free to start another group. Also I keep an eye out for the newcomer and approach them after the meeting. Perhaps I can suggest another meeting where they may find their solution. That's if I can catch them. I remember one running away looking over their shoulder to make sure we weren't following. If that had been your first meeting, you would have run away too.

God bless,
Mike.