Spoke up at a beginners meeting this morning. Apparently I was taking too long to get to my point because the facilitator shut me up and called on someone else to speak. Okay, I admit I was taking the round a bout way to my poing but, it was embarrasing and harsh. I feel like at beginners meeting there should be a bit of tolerance and leeway. Us newbies are not used to speaking in a public forum and are sometimes very nervous. The feelings we're having are very hard to verbalize. This is knawing at me and I feel veryb much like a fool. I just needed to get it off of my chest.
For me,I would have approached the chairperson and asked why he shut me down. Not in an attack mode but in a manner of sharing how it made me feel and even though I am new here just because we get into recovery dont necessaryally make us stand up orators,or spiritual giants of stand up comedians..Speaking in front of a group can cause anxieities...Unfortunately you will find many different situations occurring at different meetings.Hopefully your next meeting will be better.I remember early in my recovery I got up to get my key tag for clean time and when I said my date was saturday but im here tonight tuesday,a person yelled out at top of his lungs.NO COPING SHORT' I didnt understand where he was coming and I was a little taken back, so I approached him after the meeting and he explained to me that it was for us to teach the newcomer certain things we do(WE are very good friends and on each other support team),we don;t share clean and sober,we don't talk drugs in an AA meetings(use language appropriate language when we share)respect the house we are in,,no crosstalking and on and on....That was almost 30 years ago and things certainly are different in the rooms nowadays but I alwys believe that the fellowship is there to help us in a loving and caring manner,some may be more gruff then others and we are a rough mixture of people from all avenues of life and people will always be people,some are sicker than others..........This illness don't play so bottom line is WE do have to listen to learn,take what we can use,and save the rest (possibly for another time)Don't let this deter you from getting back at it.In fact you may want to share about another time,im sure it will help someone else.There are many different meetings mostly everyday of the week.Listen for a sponsor,continue to make meetings,get into the "solution" the Steps and the application of our spiritual principles in the attitudes and behaviors of your life.Remember WE are responsible for our own recoveries,don't let anyone steal your joy!!! This is my stuff...........
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Sorry you had to experience that in this morning's meeting ... as mikef said, we're made up of widely varied types of people ... basically we're just a bunch of drunks helping each other stay sober ...
The groups I go to always start the meeting with the chairperson laying out a few ground-rules ... typically, we ask that those who do share, limit their time to about three minutes, in order to give everyone a chance to share ... we don't usually cut someone off until they hit 8 to 10 minutes ... and then it really does limit the remaining time for others ... we also suggest that if there is a 'burning desire' to share at length, that person should carry their questions to the 'meeting after the meeting' where we usually gather outside for 15 to 20 minutes before leaving ... and certainly some of stay much longer if the occasion arises where someone needs extra attention ...
Try to select a good sponsor soon ... she'll be able to do a lot of one-on-one time with you in the beginning ... this should answer most your questions that require long explanations or long replies ...
Love you and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I do remember having certain things like that happen in the beginning. Small little growth opportunities placed in front of me right from the get go. Never more than I could handle, but it felt so very very close. I knew, just like you, that it wasn't the end of the world, but I was just so very emotional and sensitive already, I wondered: Couldn't people remember how it felt? Well, maybe for some it wasn't like it was for you and I. That's what I told myself then anyway. I saw people who didn't seem to be uncomfortable at ALL... in ANY way... at their first meeting(s), and I was just baffled. I was SO nervous to say anything in front of anyone. I was so fragile a feather could have cracked me to pieces. I was sure I was never going to get over it, and I was positive I'd never get comfortable in these meetings with all these strangers! We'll we're all different I guess. But we have one big thing in common ; )
Soon I realized I had to keep going or my alcoholism would get worse and I would die... and slowly everything started to change after I surrendered and began to understand how lucky I was that I did not have a death sentence... there was help and recovery for me (and you) and I did not have to die. When people get cancer, they do not like everything involved in what it takes to recover, and I just looked at it that way after I realized I wanted to live!
You don't have to love or even like everything about AA right now. You just have to keep showing up, just like a cancer patient has to keep showing up for chemo. Soon you'll start feeling better, and you can take on more. A cancer patient would maybe start to look at lifestyle changes, and that's what you'll begin to do to if you want to live. You'll find a sponsor, read the big book, do the steps, and keep coming back. And you'll see that the ones who do that live, and it's a great life. For me, it's better than I could have known 7 months ago. All those moments like the one you had at the meeting, are moments you can feel proud of! You're doing this. You didn't give up after that happened to you! You actually did the right thing, reached out here... kept on putting one foot in front of the other and you're on your way to learning to live all over again! You've got a great start! Good for you! Keep sharing Allison - we'll look forward to hearing of your progress!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Hi Allison, no worries. Share how you feel with another alcoholic. Keep coming back here. Keep going to meetings. And don't drink. Just worry about staying sober right now and staying positive!
Mich shared the short of it...and you've share it with us...so there!! Now check to see that there are no residual resentments (which we can ill afford) and that your acceptance knob is turned all the way up to 10.
