This'll be a new experience for me....

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

This'll be a new experience for me....

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

Suddenly, due to changed circumstances at work, I find that at the end of this month, I'll be managing 8 people instead of 2. No problem there, just need a bigger shovel........

One of the new team that I'm inheriting is a personal friend and also a member of the fellowship. I have to be clear that friendship outside of work is one thing, the manager / engineer relationship in work is another. But i feel I cannot switch off fellowship - this will be a bit of a challenge to maintain fellowship, without it looking like favouritism.

If anyone has any experience from either side of such a professional relationship and can suggest strategies that work (or even ones that don't work, but make it clear) i'd welcome the learning.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Great post BB ... ... ... I've often wondered how I would be in that situation ... I've thought about it, but never had to deal with it ...
I will be very interested in the following replies to your query ... ... thanks

Pappy

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Bill,

Sounds like you're ready for changes in your life. HP(God) will only give us what we can handle when we can handle it. What I do today, is practice the principles in all my affairs(step 12) to the best of my ability. Regardless of inside or out of AA. Family, personal, work and relationships. They're all the same. It works quite well. Love, patience and tolerance is our code(step 10). Pray and then listen to your HP(step 11). He'll reveal more.

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

My husband works with the guy who planted the seed in my husband, who in turn shared it with me. AA I mean. I wonder about how things go for them too. They see each other at speaker meetings. Seems awkward but not. Try not to think or over think on it really, it's not my business.

I was thinking about how wishing for more to be revealed doesn't let me marvel at what I have before me... the safest place for me... just on my way home from the noon meeting. I suppose this life is a revelation in progress, and I must just work with what I am grateful for every moment I can manage it. I suppose I should re read the section in the big book that pertains to our work. I can't seem to bring any of it to mind right now. I'm sure your HP will guide you every step of the way Bill, if you let Him... and trust Him. Thanks for bringing it up here, you've inspired me to get out that big book again today.

Wren · Senior Member

For myself, that would be alot like having to be the boss of one of my kids. When I was working for an inhouse drug rehab program, my son came up from California. He was shot during a drug deal, and I could get him in under a scholarship. I found where I was treading a thin line was in *expecting* more from him, just because he IS my son, knew the program from my involvement, and so I realized as he entered that I had to step back and allow other folks to work with him just so he didn't feel the pressure from my expectations. So that's going to be an interesting one for you-- will the friendship make you easier on him or harder? I like what Mr David said ' business is business, recovery is recovery". This will be quite the learning experience for you!

chris

Zoomtopz · MIP Old Timer

I suppose it's a bit like having your wife in the fellowship - I don't take her inventory .

Let her live Her programme .

I certainly Won't let her take mine , the only time she tried , I said " hey lady don't dare try to

f*#* with my head ,it Won't work". We are 6y apart in sobriety & 6y apart in age .She has a

university degree , & a grad diploma in Library Science & she is a Yank .

I am an Aussie , dropped out of high school in yr 10 , joined th Aussie Navy , bit over 5yrs & then

drove interstate semi's for 30yrs . How does this fit your situation BB . She went to Colorado for a family

reunion , I went to Texas a week later for a Navy reunion . Ok we do most things together even though

we are like chalk & chese , but when she does her thing , I let her . When I do mine , I do it .

We have been together 17 years . I believe he will understand th situation . It will further increase your

being an example in sobriety , when I went back driving long distance after I first got sober , well-meaniing

folk would ask me , what about th drugs , I never did drugs , what about tiredness , I would politely tell these

well-meaning people , hey it warns us of "over-tiredness" . So taking that step up , I believe means for you ,

is that You will be Able to handle the situations that come along .

Rick.

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Hi Bill,

Conrats on the increased responsiblity...hopefully money also biggrin

When I was young and a few years sober I had boss (Bill B) who was in his 60's and sober in AA for 20+ years

He was a no BS type of guy. Looking back, as a guy in my mid 20's, I really admired his lack of fear, honesty and assertiveness, traits I was working to develop. He was consistant with everyone, I never looked for any favors, but if I really needed help he would have been there.

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

Thanks for all the replies. I spoke with my sponsor who suggested someone else for me to talk to. His guidance was simple, Business is Business, recovery is recovery (see above, some one else posted that too.) and remember the yellow card (who you see here etc....) both in meetings and in work.

SteveP · MIP Old Timer

Ip've not had this little situation before, but sounds like a good opportunity to practise these principles in ALL of our affairs.... :)

Steve