To stay sober today, I must not drink today--this day, this hour, this minute, the next minute, the next five minutes, this minute, the next minute...and when the clock reaches midnight, yee haw-I "have" 24 hrs. And not a minute more. So from 12 to 12:01, I don't drink that minute. And so it goes, until I begin to appreciate the fact that I was sober yesterday, sober today, and working my steps/program I may be able to increase my odds-no guarentee-of reaching tomorrow sober. The hours go by, the days add up, the yesterdays and the tommows reached become months, a year, several years, many years. But each one is made up of single minutes-single seconds, nanoseconds!! Continuous single moments, single actions. I can drink or use the phone; drink or go to a meeting; drink or tough it out; drink or read the book; drink or walk; drink or bitch and moan; drink or go to the ER; drink or have a cookie. I can drink and give up, or drink and have a pity party, or I can spend a lot of time and energy in the miserable indulgence of the arrogance of shame-the denial of my capacity and eventual willingness to be humble, which is initiated by the 2nd step and necessitated by the 3rd step. And I can't take steps 4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12 without 1 and then 2 and then 3, in that order. Any "slip", any "relapse", any "dry drunk", any return to drinking requires of me that I start with one minute, and one step, and go from there. Of course, meetings help.
Thank you Leeu. That's been my experience also. At first, the days seem to drag on but they add up quickly. Now, I wish they'd slow down. Being in The Program is such a gift.
