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I had to write a paper for my final exam in my Written communications course at college. I think I did a good job. Anyone want to see it? If you do just say so.



Lanchas



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Hey Lanchos...how you doin??   See the paper??  Sure..... philipld@sympatico.ca


You have a good day ehhh?


 



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Is it too lengthy to post here?  I'm always interested in reading others comments.

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Good morning Dan...and I agree with you...Go for it..Lanchos. :)

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Thanks all for wanting to read my paper! Here it is:


Roles of Children of Alcoholics


The word role is usually applied to plays. For example, an actor and an actress each have a different role in a play. Roles can also be applied to families. The general role of parents is to take care of and raise their child or children. Well in an alcoholic family, children usually take on four distinct roles: the Hero, the Scapegoat, the Lost Child, and the Mascot. The different roles are commonly but not always taken on by different children, each one having a certain role and sometimes one child will take on two roles at once. I, myself, being a "child" that grew up in an alcoholic home feels that I took on all four roles at different times while I was growing up.


The first role that a child can take on is the Hero. The Hero is also known as the Responsible Child. The child that usually takes on this role is the oldest child. According to Scharff et. al, the responsible child cooks, cleans, and gets straight As (576). There are positive and negative characteristics of the Hero role. "The positive characteristics are responsible, achiever, independent, leader, and organized. The negative characteristics are feelings of low self-worth, perfectionist, ignores own needs or wants, has a fear of rejection, and difficulty in establishing intimate relationships." (Wegcheider-Cruse "Hero") "Wegscheider (1981) describes the "Hero" as the firstborn child who becomes locked in a triangle with the alcoholic parent at one corner and the enabling spouse at the other. This child is portrayed as taking on the impossible dream of making everything right within the family. The price that the adult "Hero" pays, according to Wegscheider (1981) is often intense anger, psychosomatic problems (stomach ulcers, migraines) and excessive perfectionism." (qtd. in Children of Alcoholics 155)


The second role that a child may take on is the Scapegoat. The Scapegoat is also known as the acting-out child. "The "Scapegoat" usually the second child according to Wegscheider, is left out of the family triangle and thus resorts to acting-out." (qtd. in Children of Alcoholics 155) According to Scharff et. al, the acting-out child is disruptive at home and school and is likely to become a delinquent. (576) There are positive and negative traits of the Scapegoat role. "The positive characteristics are independent, risk taker, pleasure seeker, and enjoy change. The negative characteristics are demanding, personality problems, substance abuse, acts out inappropriately, and accepts displaced blame for family problems." (Wegcheider-Cruse "Scapegoat")


The third role that a child assumes is the Lost Child. The Lost Child is also known as the Adjuster. "The "Lost Child," usually the third child according to Wegscheider, chooses to withdraw into his/her own world. "Lost Children" are depicted as blaming themselves for not fitting into the family. Their continuing seclusion prevents them from acquiring social skills, thereby perpetuating their loneliness." (qtd. in Children of Alcoholics 155) According to Scharff et. al, the adjuster vanishes into the background; goes along with what others want, gets Cs in school. (576) There are positive and negative qualities of the Lost Child role. "The positive characteristics are good observation skills, good listener, autonomy, and not demanding of others. The negative characteristics are denies own feelings, detached, unable to develop close relationships, and depression." (Wegcheider-Cruse "Lost Child")


The last role assumable of a child of an alcoholic is the Mascot. The "Mascot" is also known as the Placater. "Wegscheider (1981) portrays the "Mascot," usually the youngest child, as obtaining attention and relief from anxiety by showing off and being funny. The adult "Mascot" is excessively fearful, manipulative, and unable to focus on tasks for any length of time." (qtd. in Children of Alcoholics 155) According to Scharff et. al, the placater takes care of the emotional needs of family and friends, gets As and Bs." (576) There are positive and negative behaviors of the Mascot role. "The positive characteristics are good sense of humor, makes friends easily, ability to defuse stressful situations, and good social skills. The negative effects are attention seeker, denies reality of own feelings, feelings of unworthiness, and can be superficial." (Wegcheider-Cruse "Mascot")


Unfortunately I am a child of an alcoholic. I have displayed many of these characteristics (positive and negative) throughout my lifetime. I have acted in the Hero role. I am that one at home that cleans the bathroom all the time and the kitchen most of the time. I am independent when it comes to getting myself somewhere. In my senior year of high school, I joined a club at the Red Cross, which is about a 10 to 15 minute bike ride, and I rode my bike there weekly. I have also rode my bike to a grocery store because I needed something and I wasn’t going to wait for the alcoholic in my life to go to the store. The grocery store I rode to is a 30-minute bike ride from my house to there, which ends up being an hour ride for the whole trip. Sometimes if I think about it I realize that my fear of rejection and feelings of low self-worth are part of the reason why I stay single. I have also played the Scapegoat role. The way I have acted as the Scapegoat is by accepting blame for the family problems. For example, I sometime think or say it’s my fault when the alcoholics in my life argue for hours meaning I say I caused it by something I did or said. I act like the Lost Child in the aspect of withdrawing into my own world. At home when I am outside on the deck or in the house but more on the deck with my headphones on I am in my own world listening to music and thinking about a variety of things. I have definitely been a placater at times. Adults that knew me while I was growing up always said that I made friends easily, which was true and remains true. I definitely have feelings of unworthiness. As you can tell I have the characteristics of the different roles of children of alcoholics.


Children of alcoholics use four different roles to survive living with alcoholics. The roles are Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, and Mascot. There are positive and negative actions that result from assuming these roles. In conclusion, people aren’t always as they seem sometimes people hide behind walls through their actions.


Please comment on it.


Lanchas



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Very well written - you deserve the highest, possible mark.  After reading your report I realized where my placement is in my family.  The lost child is my placement - the description fits me like a glove.  I am the baby of six and my father was the drinker of the family - then he passed on when I was ten ( whole other issue).  I guess that is why I am sitting alone, at home, all by myself, in front of the computer.   


Jeannie



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Yes, that sounds very familiar.


To heal in alcoholics anon., using the steps, people around us,and that power greater than ourselves means we can detach the harmful damaging aspects of our defects of caracter. Then those defects can become our greatest assets in staying sober, (for ourselves), and being available to help the stressing, problamatic alcoholic.


Thank you for the writing.



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Chris B.


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As I read this, I was putting my children's names to the descriptions. Since I have 4 kids...I could easily find the different roles each of them has played during my activve drinking years. The difference now is the recovery. I have had the opportunity with my 2 younger kids to watch them change as I got sober and remained in recovery. They no longer have a role to fulfill and have the chance to be all that God intended them to be. I only hope that my 2 older children realize thier self worth and can forgive me for the life they were forced to grow up in.


I pray that I never put anyone through that life again.


cheri



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I got a C on the paper for 2 reasons according to my professor:





  • it wasn't as long as it was supoposed to be (length wise and the research information is brief)

  • it has personal experience in it and it is a research paper therfore it is not allowed to be in it


Lanchas



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