Another month sober and smoke free, 5 sober 10 smoke free. Alot of hard work, alot deceiding who I want to be and becoming who I am. I am a sober, life enjoying father, and husband, with a great support system which includes each and every single person on this board! Thank you! So even though I've been here I never told my story, so here is a summary. My entire family were drinkers, grandmother was barmaid at some of the roughest, mother and father both big drinkers. As a young child I did not know my father other than seeing him stumble in the house after a day of drinking at the construction city, followed by the night t the local water hole. Mother even though a daily drinker, was albeit more involved school an such. At 13 my father got hurt on the job, puntured a lung, while in hospital he stop drinking! The following year was nice, I finally got to know him, while at the same point watched him die. While in hospital for his lung injury thy found lung cancer which ended up taking his life. That summer my mother, who at the time was drinking more and more, sent me to FL to visit some family for the summer to get over my father. 6 weeks into my trip I get a call to return home asap. I o and head straight to the hospital, I walk in the room, to an orange sinked blotted mother. Not knowing what was going on I played stupid, that afternoon the Dr came and and told us without a transplant she would not survive, 3 days wasn't much time to look. So being 14 and loosing both parents within 6 months of each other did some damage. I went to live with these great friends of the family, much older with grand kids already. They did there best, but I was a mess star ted drinking smoking pot, then theiving cocaine, name I did it. By 18 I was on my own with a life insurance policy living life. By 19, broke, smashed my new car, dwi, lost lic, and that was it. Drinking ever since. Jump ahead 10 years bought house in the wrong market drinking more than every two kids later different house, one in fourclouser and I'm a liter deep in rum everynite. Blackouts were my way to fall asleep. All I cared about was if I had enough booze for the night, I'd wake at 5 and try to remember where I hid the last bottle to check inventory and see how my day would go. I started feeling the effects, kidneys hurt, body hurt, eyes were kiler blod shot 24 7. I finaaly came to my senses I had to stop. Took 15 years for swimming in the bottle and almost loosing myself and kids too see how bad it was.