Col wrote:

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So, I've had somewhat of a 'revelation'.. Not a huge revelation like when I realized I'm not angry with God anymore, more of a 'huh' type of thing. So as many of you may have read here lately, I've been struggling with anger and a lot of self pity, general confusion about things. So I'm thinking, thinking and thinking more about these things. I realized a couple of things. I spend waayyy too much time in my head. I spend even more time thinking about myself. I also spend an inordinate amount of time thinking/ worrying/ obsessing about what other people are doing. To be more precise, what they are doing and how I'd like to change it. Or what they're doing that doesn't meet my expectations, or how I would do things differently. Ok.. I'm pretty self absorbed, self obsessed, egotistical, controlling..and I think too damn much. Furthermore, my thinking is pretty warped. So I've been trying this 'experiment'... Just doing my thing.!NOT critiquing, judging, discussing, watching everybody else. NOT assuming everyone else is soooo interested in every move I make. Guess what? (well, you already know what's happened...) I'm MUCH happier. I get along with people better, I accept them as they are. I'm not continuously stressed out. Did it really take me 36! Years on this planet to figure out this simple truth?? LOL yes, it has. But that's ok, cuz now I've got it.

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 Ha! the reminds me of a conversation I had with my sponsor ... it went something like this:

Sponsor:  1st of all, It's your thinking that's wrong.

Me:  How much of my thinking is wrong?

Sponsor:  We always start with all of it

                then if there's any, any good, 

                 well let you know.

Me:  You put a sign up that sez.. THINK, THINK, THINK.

Sponsor:  That's for us

                 Now we're go'n to give you some things to do and things not to 

                 do.. Now the things well give you not to do is go'n to 

                 change, the things we give you to do, you're go'n to add 

                 to  Then it's go'n to happen over here.

Me:  What's go'n to happen over there?

Sponsor:  We don't know but it always happens!!!

Me:  I'm going to tell you something.   Ive been listening to you 

                and listening to you   Now you listen to me..I DO NOT 

                UNDERSTAND..

Sponsor:  AND THAT'S IT & DONT YOU EVER FORGET IT.

                Theres two things you must remember every day for the rest of your days

                1.  No matter what's go'n on in your life         You Do Not Understand.

                      then you'll have understanding

                     And when you quit trying to understand, then you can enjoy it.

                2.  No matter what your situation is,.     it's never them..    never her,

                     never him,   never God,   it's YOU that must            

                     become different than you ever have before.

Me:  How do I do that?

Sponsor:  Oh!   You can't!

Me:  What the Hell you tell'n me that for???

Sponsor:  That's whats go'n to happen to ya.

                 NOW I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE KICKER.

                 This is the very one thing that got you here   But its the very 

                 one thing that,  ..should it not change,   ..will be the very one 

                 thing that's going to keep you from getting all the things that God 

                 has for his children..

                 As long as you know that you know,   .you'll never know.

                 But when you begin to do what we tell you not to do and to do 

                 and begin to know that you don't know,    .then you'll begin to 

                 know..

Me:  Hell, you're crazy

Sponsor:  I know