"Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us." pg 84 Alcoholics Anonymous book. This promise materialises after working diligently on steps 4 to 9. I use this as a yardstick for my own recovery, because it covers the fundamental nature of my personal defects. It also ties up with the biblical truth, "that without faith it is impossible to please God", however strong I may seem on the outside.
Has God removed fear? I have got to be honest to myself. After careful inventory, I identify the defect or sin that has resurfaced, and I ask God to remove it. AA says that we have entered the world of the Spirit. This comes about as soon as I deal with my defects of character or sin. Christians call it the Kingdom of Heaven. All the principles of faith have been borrowed from the Bible and paraphrased for the sick alcoholic. That's why the downtrodden alcoholic grows faster than the Pharasees of the church. First, we came in because of the death sentence of alcoholism hanging over our heads. We accepted everything that AA had to offer and found true faith. We stay because our faith is still active, through service and self sacrifice.
A friend asked me how much AA costs? I think the cost is a total lifelong mortgage of my life.
Well, I can't tell you how many 1,000,000,000,000 x's I have read this book, gone to book studies, Joe And Charlie Work Shops help in my home straight for 3 years in a row non-stop, and to this day I do not have this one down.
When I was able to work for a living, and was sober I guess I thought I had faith, but it was in self as I had a way of taking care of me, my daughter at the time, and even when she left home. When this thing happened with my back, that's when I really fell apart, and was so full of fear I thought I would die.
I was a thief at 5 years of age as my parents refused to give us any money for allowance, and trust me for a 5 year old having to mow a 1/3 acer yard thats a big job. I learned from all that it was that I had to provide for myself. Even a woman down the street told my mom you have to feed her, or put food where she can reach it. So my mom kept a loaf of bread in the drawer so I could reach it
No I should have faith, I am alive, here, all my needs are always met, and I even can help others many times over!!! Once my SS check was cut off for 6 months, and I ended up having $1600 a month coming in from ? vs the normal $940
So if there isn't a God out there or something looking after me why can't I feel it, let all this fear, anxiety go? Why do I hold onto it, and drive myself INSANE????????????
Well, I can't tell you how many 1,000,000,000,000 x's I have read this book, gone to book studies, Joe And Charlie Work Shops help in my home straight for 3 years in a row non-stop, and to this day I do not have this one down.
When I was able to work for a living, and was sober I guess I thought I had faith, but it was in self as I had a way of taking care of me, my daughter at the time, and even when she left home. When this thing happened with my back, that's when I really fell apart, and was so full of fear I thought I would die.
I was a thief at 5 years of age as my parents refused to give us any money for allowance, and trust me for a 5 year old having to mow a 1/3 acer yard thats a big job. I learned from all that it was that I had to provide for myself. Even a woman down the street told my mom you have to feed her, or put food where she can reach it. So my mom kept a loaf of bread in the drawer so I could reach it
No I should have faith, I am alive, here, all my needs are always met, and I even can help others many times over!!! Once my SS check was cut off for 6 months, and I ended up having $1600 a month coming in from ? vs the normal $940
So if there isn't a God out there or something looking after me why can't I feel it, let all this fear, anxiety go? Why do I hold onto it, and drive myself INSANE????????????
Welcome nursedeborah, ... glad you're here ... ...
You don't feel God ??? ... You ever sit in a meeting and listen to someone's life story and hear them give God and AA credit for their sobriety ??? ... you ever hear of the person in the hospital with no hope of making it, have people come by and pray for them and then miraculuously get well and leave the hospital??? ... I've personally experienced all of these situations, and they give you the very distinct feeling that a super spiritual power is in play here ... that's how God feels ... And once you're convinced He's with you, you turn every care and concern in your life over to Him and experience the weight of the world being lifted off your shoulders ... it works!!!
God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
