My sponser tells me it's now my duty, or "job", to begin helping others in the program. She says that now that I've got 90 days, and a bit of experience with sobriety, I must begin sharing it with others. Seems simple enough, but I'm still so new myself. I cant imagine that anything I can say would make any kind of worthwhile impact on anybody. I'm still a blubbering idiot when it comes to sobriety. I ramble, get off topic, aren't as articulate as I'd like. I just don't see myself being of any help to somebody else. Haha she says I need to work on my self esteem. She says my confidence level sucks. Well, sure, but i feel as though I haven't learned enough to be of value. Does this make sense to any of you? Or am I being selfish, as she points out?
Knowing that other people have the same fears and "hang ups" that we do helps give us a sense of belonging. Tasha and your write posts that stick in my head more often than other people who post. And most of the time it's nothing profound (like "arogance of self pity... Thanks for that leeu) it's everyday stuff. Everyone has something to offer... Even if it's a friendly welcoming (tashas thread) or a ride to a meeting. People are scared when they come in, if you think you can walk over to a new(er than you) comer and invite them to sit next to you... That small gesture is the biggest gift I was ever given my first two meetings.
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Thanks for saying that, neophyte, that's the best thing I've heard in a while:) I dunno, I guess I'm just intimidated. My home group is full of women who have attended the ivy league schools in the area- all very well spoken, affluent, well dressed..hell, my sponser has her doctorates!! I know all these trimmings of success are kinda BS and don't mean anything really, but.. Well, I'm just a waitress with a degree I've never used. Then again, if I'm intimidated, I'm sure others are, as well. Especially newcomers that are thinking (as I am) " crap, I don't belong HERE".
I found that helping a newcomer was one of those things that was way harder to think about doing then it was to just do it. We all have something to offer regardless of length of sobriety. I think it is so important to start helping others ASAP. As the book reminds us, our lives and our sobriety depends onit. Just put your hand out to a new person and be willing to help and your higher power will take care of the rest.
You have a lot to offer Col....Don't kid yourself. You might have just helped someone that's reading this thread that's never been to a meeting....Or even registered here yet. Just keep doing what you are doing.
Second to the above responses. You helped me today. You'll be more helpful than you think by just taking action and letting God handle the results. You have much wisdom in your first 90 days. Share it. If you want to keep what you have, you have to share it/give it away. Just by posting here, showing up at a meeting, welcoming someone, giving out your number, giving a ride to someone without a license etc....... All service.
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My home group is full of women who have attended the ivy league schools in the area- all very well spoken, affluent, well dressed..hell, my sponser has her doctorates!! I know all these trimmings of success are kinda BS and don't mean anything really, but.. Well, I'm just a waitress with a degree I've never used.
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From Yale to Jail. They come from all walks of life. There's no one to dumb for The Program, but there's plenty to smart for it. There's plenty of people who are educational or book smart and then there are those who know about life and living it. The one's I cling to walk the talk and practice a solid program of recovery. They know how to live life sober- happy, joyeous and free. My Sponsor is a farmer. Smartest guy I ever met.
"My home group is full of women who have attended the ivy league schools in the area- all very well spoken, affluent, well dressed and my sponser has her doctorates!!" Thermometers have degrees- do you know where they put those?
Col - I personally wish you would share a LOT lot more. We are so close in sobriety and age. I relate to just about everything you post, and it helps me understand (and reinforces) the notion that this is a disease! That fact is still very hard to grasp for me, but when I see your life, is parallel to mine, I can step outside of myself for a moment, and see that it couldn't be anything but a disease. There is just no way we could all think so much alike.
I love reading your posts and hearing your thoughts on every day things, and big things... keep posting! You're already helping - it takes practice - use us!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I've just been lurking around the last few days trying to decide where I'm at in life, and if this is something I need. And your posts are among those that keep me lurking around. :) I seem to connect with an awful lot of what I've read of your posts, and it helps ME just knowing there are others out there, in similar situations/circumstances to my own, who are doing what is best for them. Your impact, definitely worthwhile!
Also, I was at my regular step meeting. And I was all frazzled... And shared about how I physically accosted someone close to me, while sober. It was a 5th step week and I was tearing up and shameful with my tail between my legs. And this one real old AA Nazi came up to me and said "that is the most raw honesty I've seen in a while". And we got to talking. In the end she thanked me for my honesty. I don't know how my F up helped her stay sober or if it brought something to light that shed forgotten but old timers can learn from us too... My sponsor says she learns just as much from me as I do from her. One of our traditions (I think 5) says the "still suffering"... We never stop suffering, even people with 3 years (ruhig) or me (3 weeks) or Jerry (since 79). Tradition 5 is all inclusive.
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Wow.. Thanks guys:) its funny, when I revisit my posts here I'm always thinking "gosh, col, that a really dumb post"... Guess not. Huh, so maybe my sponsers right. Considering she's been right thus far, I don't know why I continue to question her advice. My confidence level DOES suck lol !
I've just been lurking around the last few days trying to decide where I'm at in life, and if this is something I need. And your posts are among those that keep me lurking around. :) I seem to connect with an awful lot of what I've read of your posts, and it helps ME just knowing there are others out there, in similar situations/circumstances to my own, who are doing what is best for them. Your impact, definitely worthwhile!
There you go....Welcome to MIP ready2Bme....You are in a good place...Nice job Col!
"My home group is full of women who have attended the ivy league schools in the area- all very well spoken, affluent, well dressed and my sponser has her doctorates!!" Thermometers have degrees- do you know where they put those?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
This helped me stay sober. Makes me want to come back to this site tomorrow just to see if anyone can top it!?!?..... Pappy?!? Lol.
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Willingness without action is fantasy!
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
It sounds like you have a good sponsor, it is absolutely your duty and helping others will absolutely help keep you sober. I always tell the people I work with early on to start getting out of self and helping others in rooms, especially new people by talking with them and helping them any way you can. There are a lot of reasons.
New people probably get more hope from person with a few months that those with multiple years. They need to know how to stay sober a day or a week
You can better identify and help with some of the feelings and hurdles of early soberiety that become more fuzzy for us over time.
It is a important aspect of putting the 3d step into action. "to be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish constructive action".
You will create an amazing bond with the people who got sober around the same time as yourself.
Finally. You have more "street cred" than people who have been sober a long time.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Knowing that other people have the same fears and "hang ups" that we do helps give us a sense of belonging. Tasha and your write posts that stick in my head more often than other people who post. And most of the time it's nothing profound (like "arogance of self pity... Thanks for that leeu) it's everyday stuff. Everyone has something to offer... Even if it's a friendly welcoming (tashas thread) or a ride to a meeting. People are scared when they come in, if you think you can walk over to a new(er than you) comer and invite them to sit next to you... That small gesture is the biggest gift I was ever given my first two meetings.
I must say, what you wrote above was really inspired. Having trouble believing you're a Neophyte...
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Knowing that other people have the same fears and "hang ups" that we do helps give us a sense of belonging. Tasha and your write posts that stick in my head more often than other people who post. And most of the time it's nothing profound (like "arogance of self pity... Thanks for that leeu) it's everyday stuff. Everyone has something to offer... Even if it's a friendly welcoming (tashas thread) or a ride to a meeting. People are scared when they come in, if you think you can walk over to a new(er than you) comer and invite them to sit next to you... That small gesture is the biggest gift I was ever given my first two meetings.
I must say, what you wrote above was really inspired. Having trouble believing you're a Neophyte...
it's my duty to follow thru with trad. 5, thanks rob. I'll just try not to let this news get to my ego. Lol
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
I agree with everyone, Colleen. It doesn't have to be profound, just heartfelt. And you dear have a heart of gold. So don't be afraid, okay, just be yourself. The rest will flow effortlessly from there, we promise. Thanks again for caring.
Colleen, I don't know what the requirements are at your local meetings, but I started chairing beginners meetings at 3 months, became secretary of a group at 9 months. I may have felt nervous... but think about it: When you try your best and reach out with your heart to help people....there's no way to screw it up.
You cannot mess up an entire meeting. I've never been to a meeting where the chair ruined it cuz other members always carry the meeting. It's just service work and it will keep you sober and make you feel good at the same time.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Soooo, just got home from my Friday night meeting. Got my 90 day chip:) the guy who chaired the first meeting I attended with this particular group says " great! So now that you have 90 days you're chairing next week and will be the first speaker." It was stated as a fact, not phrased as a question. I said " oh, i don't know if I'm ready" and he says " well you have a week to get yourself ready, honey". No smile, no nothing. Huh, God works in mysterious ways? I made no mention of any apprehensions I may have about speaking, he just signed me up! So... I'm doing it. He really didn't give me the option of a 'no,thanks' lol. Probably just what I need, the bastard:) ( forgive my language)
Congrats on getting your chip and chairing and speaking next week...Just let the words come from your Higher Power....What it was like...What happened...And what it is like now. That's awesome Col...You'll do great!!
Remember that what ever you end up saying... Was supposed to be said. :) it's not an essay you write and read from. It will come from your hp and your heart.
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Soooo, just got home from my Friday night meeting. Got my 90 day chip:) the guy who chaired the first meeting I attended with this particular group says " great! So now that you have 90 days you're chairing next week and will be the first speaker." It was stated as a fact, not phrased as a question. I said " oh, i don't know if I'm ready" and he says " well you have a week to get yourself ready, honey". No smile, no nothing. Huh, God works in mysterious ways? I made no mention of any apprehensions I may have about speaking, he just signed me up! So... I'm doing it. He really didn't give me the option of a 'no,thanks' lol. Probably just what I need, the bastard:) ( forgive my language)
LOL Where I came from saying "no" in AA was not an option. You must be ready otherwise he would not have signed you up!
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Just by posting here, showing up at a meeting, welcoming someone, giving out your number, giving a ride to someone without a license etc....... All service. 