Minus the intoxication

Neophyte · Senior Member

Minus the intoxication

Neophyte · Senior Member

I took care of some things at college today. It was 8:45 by the time I got out (point is that it was dark out) and I was irritated/scared/anxious/resentful when I left. So I threw on my iPod to "chemicals between us" (I've had hallucinations while listening to this song... But it fit my mood) and went to the ATM (a regular occurance while using, but necessary for tomorrow) and went to the 7-11 where there was about 15 loitering teenagers (and a few years ago, I would have been one of them) I'm rather indifferent to that I feel like using right now. But the recent events have left the night feeling... Empty? Imagine a dinner plate if you will; with a starch and vegetables, but no protien. Or... That feeling you get before a week long vacation and you feel you've forgotten something while boarding the plane. I'm not going to act on the feeling, I just wasn't expecting a whole string of events (summer night, ATM, 7-11, appropriate song) to occur in an innocent fashion? But, like I said, I'm pretty indifferent to the feeling. It's just a back of the mind nawing that I forgot something.

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

well plus - it's a disease, so it's just a thought we have to recognize and deal with I'm told. I look at it now as that pesky gray hair that keeps popping out of my head. Somehow, it just grows like 8 inches long in one day - so I take action and yank the sucker out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When it's my disease that starts growing in my head, I go to a meeting, or talk about it - like you're doing here. Yanks those sick thoughts right out for me : ) I have to remember to be grateful for another sober day after that... just like I'm grateful to revert back to a gray free head of hair - at least for the day ; P

Thanks for the thread!

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

I know that feeling, it's like the twilight zone. Time warps and it feels surreal. There is quite an adjustment period to sobriety. We're particularly vulnerable in that in between space until we get comfortable with our sobriety and build our new sober identity. Very important to push on through this. I had to shake up all of my "normal" activities because lilterally everything reminded me of
drinking and using. So I created a bunch of new routines, activities that I once thought were useless. Drove different routes, avoided stores where I had routinely bought beer (it was hard). Nothing was typical and I felt kinda lost, but I didn't have 10,000 things a day reminding me of drinking.

Neophyte · Senior Member

Lol... I've seen those pictures you posted, not a single gray hair (or sign that your drunk :D)
and yes, dean. It felt EXACTLY like the twilight zone... Do do do do.... Scaaary lol

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Hi Neo,

It's good that you shared about this and worked through it, playing/thinking the tape all the way through to the consequences always helped me.

Funny thing, I was at a local 7-11 type place Sunday eve, I'm getting my ice cream and Aerosmith "Dream On" starts to play. I'm thinking this is still a pretty good piece of music, but won't this stuff ever die....it was our Homecoming theme song back in 75' about 38 years old by now, I think about the girl I went with and the homemade brandy I stole from my dad that night.

The kid beside me in line is mumbling some of the words, he can't be more than 25, I asked "do you like Areosmith", he replies " oh yes, the classics never die". I'm thinking, we wouln't listen to anything from before the mid 60's....maybe we where part of a cultural revolutiuon.

Sorry got a little off topic yawn

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Neophyte wrote:
Lol... I've seen those pictures you posted, not a single gray hair (or sign that your drunk :D)
and yes, dean. It felt EXACTLY like the twilight zone... Do do do do.... Scaaary lol

Thanks for the kind words.

I was lucky to have gotte sober at 29. I've been taking lots of vitamins and exercising ever since, and incorporated some kind of superfood supplement into my diet. Early on I took bluegreen algae (9 years), then got on raw bee pollen http://undergroundhealthreporter.com/bee-pollen-health-benefits#axzz23bseLgQO (14 years now) and for the last 8 years green vibrance http://www.luckyvitamin.com/p-21086-vibrant-health-green-vibrance-version-103-concentrated-superfood-254-oz. I take that in a protein smoothie with fruit every morning.

Yes it is scary, not knowing what world you are belonging to, and there seems to be a force pulling you down. This is an insidious disease. We really do have to change just about everything, people places, and things, and ourselves to get and stay away from it.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 15th of August 2012 05:44:48 AM

Neophyte · Senior Member

Sorry for double posting... But way more of my using was done at night. And so I can travel most places and not feel like using (like the ATM... During the day) but it was dark and warm and no people and the red tail lights and the crickets.

Does anyone else relate to the "time" trigger instead of the "place" trigger (I still won't go back to the trailer parks though...)

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Neophyte wrote:
Yes rob... All music was null and void until 1960. :eye roll: haha just kidding, but there is a DISTINCT difference between the 50s and 60s... So thank you baby boomers, for your uberEPIC contributions. :)

-- Edited by Neophyte on Tuesday 14th of August 2012 11:10:26 PM

Funny. I'm hip to the uberEPIC contributions, whatever this Gen Y term means.

Peace (out),

Neophyte · Senior Member

Rob84 wrote:
Neophyte wrote:
Yes rob... All music was null and void until 1960. :eye roll: haha just kidding, but there is a DISTINCT difference between the 50s and 60s... So thank you baby boomers, for your uberEPIC contributions. :)

-- Edited by Neophyte on Tuesday 14th of August 2012 11:10:26 PM
Funny. I'm hip to the uberEPIC contributions, whatever this Gen Y term means.
Peace (out),

uber: 1 : being a superlative example of its kind or class : super- epic: 2 a : extending beyond the usual or ordinary especially in size or scope examples: doors/cream/Hendrix/Stevie Ray vaughn/who/Skynyrd just givin credit where it's due old man :)

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

You didn't forget to do the different thing and come here and speak to it...Good of you to remember cause it also keeps some of us alive. I've got a dear friend from recovery whos on a relapse again and when we meet in the morning I will hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek and we will talk "use to bes" and the solutions and the what we practices and then he'll forget something and I'll wait for the morning when he won't be loaded and his focus will be less ADD and we'll stand there with HP and do another part of 24 hrs. My largest concern for years has been the possibility of relapse and so I listen intently to my recovering brothers and sister that I might have another day to be shared with again which results in my sobriety.

Wishing you another clean 24. smile

Neophyte · Senior Member

Thanks jerry

Neophyte · Senior Member

Hey dean thanks for the info! Right now I'm waiting for this new job to give me a start date so I can find and plan a dentist apointment. My right jaw/teeth feel like they're on fire. Funny thing... They didn't start being painful until I knew I only had six months til my benefits kicked in... I really wish I could say this was psychosematic. Hoping to find something on that site that promotes "bone health". Til then, salt water and antibiotics and bayer it is.

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Dean - I do a lot of natural health stuff as well. Probiotic 14 from good health naturally USA for 5 yrs - organic foods, little carbs & sugar (I try) - extra vitamin d - we try and raise most of our own meat - cuz pink slime is gross, and that's just the start (google pink slime in meat). We also eat some type of berry and a handful of raw nuts every day if we can. Skip the cereal and go for an egg from the coop. Trying to do better on making sure to eat one green thing every day - wish I had will power to do more.

I will be checking into those sites you mentioned - thanks so much for the info!

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Great information everyone, thanks.