Hello, my name is Dominique and I am an alcoholic addict. Before a recent relapse I was in the program for nine months; but during eight of those I was smoking marijuana to relieve the pain from my many stomach diseases, so I only received a one month chip. Now that I am back after my relapse though, I am finding it is impossible to find a female sponsor locally that will accept marijuana usage for medical purposes. I have found one man locally that supports it but as you all know male/female sponsorship is frowned upon.
I know in the past I've heard "it alters your mind therefore you cannot get close to God". (God referring to what I've chosen as my higher power) I'd like to address that, I meditate very often after consuming marijuana and I feel as though I get closer to him. I've done research and moral searching of myself I feel as though I'm doing what is needed for my condition of life. (Genesis 1:29. The New American Standard Translation. "Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you."" )
I'm not trying to be controversial, I'm just seeking advice and options for my life, not AA in a whole.
So with all that being said, here's my question(s):
Can I get a sponsor out of state and how would I go about this? (If you are willing to sponsor me please let me know. I'd be eternally grateful.)
Should I try to work the steps with a male sponsor?
Or should I give up my medication?
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-- Edited by DomOhNeek on Friday 10th of August 2012 08:43:24 AM
I really don't know enough about medical marijuana usage in AA...I mean....Seeing how the pills won't work...Is that the only other option you have?...The reason I can't use marijuana...Is I know right where it will take me...And I can't afford to go there.
-- Edited by Stepchild on Thursday 9th of August 2012 03:27:55 PM
Welcome to the site DomOhNeek...That's a tough one....I know I had to give up marijuana when I quit drinking...I had to give up everything.....You ask if you should give up your medication....Is that a possibility for you?....I don't know....I do want to welcome you though...And I'm sure there will be others with more experience on this matter than myself.....Glad you are here.
Thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you. I understand, I gave up marijuana the first time around because I was in risk of losing sponsorship, during that time I went back to western medications. If I stop consuming/smoking marijuana then my other choices, like in the past, are pain killers and a list of "management medication and diet". The reason I stopped taking the pills is because of the side effects, where as the marijuana doesn't.
I understand that. Some people can't use marijuana because it leads them back down the rabbit hole. In my experience I don't though. I strictly use it for medical purposes. I'm not saying this option is for everyone, but I believe it's best for me. Yes, my options are marijuana or pills and a management diet. My stomach diseases aren't curable, just manageable. My problem in the past is that I start depending on the pain killers and then start abusing them.
I'd be more worried about the pain killers...Are you sure you can't find a female sponsor to work with you?....And as far as a male/female sponsor relationship goes...I have two male oldtimer friends that were sponsored by women...And one of them has sponsored several women as well...So it can be done from what I have seen...I'd pray on it and keep reaching out....And if you have to have that for medicinal purposes...That shouldn't affect your sobriety date...The way I see it anyway...This is a new one to me.
That's what I try to stress but a few other females have the same diseases and they don't abuse the pain killers, so they always frown upon me for not being able to control it. I thank you for the advice though, I will keep searching. I'm starting to lean more into finding an out of state sponsor though.
I wish you the best...This is a great site to hang out...Be sure and check in and let us know how you are doing...It's a little quiet right now but there are some great people here....Welcome.
Aloha Dom...welcome back..."Medical" has become one of the later justifications for marijuana and locally they also use "sacrament" but I've been around for a long while and remember it's older formal name..."loco weed" which is before people began shooing away the cows so that they could get to it instead. I've done weed; not as much as alcohol. It worked faster and harder than my booze did. I liked the illusion of control that I got from booze and not the feeling of being sand bagged by dope. I don't do either today and like many things about that including having my physical brain sitting in the space that was created for it without trying to leak out of my ears and nose and where ever. I use to be on a ton or prescrips also until my neuro-surgeon took me off of it all...that was in the very early 70s and I started to learn that he knew more about how I was built than I did. He was letting me understand that my body is a chemically tolerant model and that in order for the docs to see the effect of the medications I would have to walk about in an overdosed state unlike "normies"...that later explained why I could consume more alcohol than the drinkers I hung out with and why my skin was a yellowish-green color.
My Higher Power got me hooked up with psycho-cybernetics in which I learn personal pain control from within my visualization and belief centers. "If you can see it and believe it you can make it happen". I don't suffer from alot of pain anymore and haven't for years. I believe that everybody has the ability and facilities to do the same thing and some pretty amazing things have happened to me with this practice many of them witnessed by highly professional medical people. Try looking up Psyco-Cybernetics...the book by Maxwell Maltz and give it a read. As for sponsorship...I have a sponsee who likes to say he isn't drinking and is still scoring weed...we talked the day before yesterday and he was complaining about severe unmanageability. He uses and he looses. I understand there are others who say they are different...I use to say that myself. I know doppers who swear by the sacrament and religious practice of it...I know that the tide is and has turned against people who self anestethize...drinkers and doppers...I know I cannot and will not do it any longer and cannot help anyone under the influence. Hope your stomach pains go away with your disease of alcoholism.
I understand that. Some people can't use marijuana because it leads them back down the rabbit hole. In my experience I don't though. I strictly use it for medical purposes. I'm not saying this option is for everyone, but I believe it's best for me. Yes, my options are marijuana or pills and a management diet. My stomach diseases aren't curable, just manageable. My problem in the past is that I start depending on the pain killers and then start abusing them.
As long as you use it for medical purposes, only. Personally, I don't have a problem with it. But that's just me. As long as it doesn't impede progress. I hope this helps.
Once upon a time in America, over 90% opposed interracial marriages. Today 90% think there is nothing wrong with interracial marriages. Once upon a time, a woman suggesting that she should be equal to a man was an indication she had some sort of mental imbalance. Today, it's the woman who thinks she will never be a man's equal who is looked upon that way. Once cigarettes were endorsed by doctors, today that same doctor would be disbarred. Today, marijuana for medicinal use is considered suspect - perhaps in the future we will flip flop on that position too.
In the meantime, I hope that I continue to be willing to extend the hand of AA to those alcoholics in need, whether or not they are in an interracial marriage, her views on a woman's role in society, or on whether or not this person smokes. This is AA - it's about alcohol - period. NA says that a drug is a drug is a drug and 'alcohol is a drug'. Its one of the tension between the fellowships in that AA is different and it is only interested in alcoholism.
If you can't find a female sponsor, then find a male one. The important thing is to get a good sponsor you can work with. Like everything else in AA, the male to male, female to female sponsorship is a suggestion, and a suggestion only.
I know nothing about the medical benefits of pot, I smoked it only to get high, but I can do the same with a lot of other drugs. It's an issue that makes a lot of people uncomfortable. If it works for you and your physician, than who am I to judge.
Aloha Dom...welcome back..."Medical" has become one of the later justifications for marijuana and locally they also use "sacrament" but I've been around for a long while and remember it's older formal name..."loco weed" which is before people began shooing away the cows so that they could get to it instead. I've done weed; not as much as alcohol. It worked faster and harder than my booze did. I liked the illusion of control that I got from booze and not the feeling of being sand bagged by dope. I don't do either today and like many things about that including having my physical brain sitting in the space that was created for it without trying to leak out of my ears and nose and where ever. I use to be on a ton or prescrips also until my neuro-surgeon took me off of it all...that was in the very early 70s and I started to learn that he knew more about how I was built than I did. He was letting me understand that my body is a chemically tolerant model and that in order for the docs to see the effect of the medications I would have to walk about in an overdosed state unlike "normies"...that later explained why I could consume more alcohol than the drinkers I hung out with and why my skin was a yellowish-green color.
My Higher Power got me hooked up with psycho-cybernetics in which I learn personal pain control from within my visualization and belief centers. "If you can see it and believe it you can make it happen". I don't suffer from alot of pain anymore and haven't for years. I believe that everybody has the ability and facilities to do the same thing and some pretty amazing things have happened to me with this practice many of them witnessed by highly professional medical people. Try looking up Psyco-Cybernetics...the book by Maxwell Maltz and give it a read. As for sponsorship...I have a sponsee who likes to say he isn't drinking and is still scoring weed...we talked the day before yesterday and he was complaining about severe unmanageability. He uses and he looses. I understand there are others who say they are different...I use to say that myself. I know doppers who swear by the sacrament and religious practice of it...I know that the tide is and has turned against people who self anestethize...drinkers and doppers...I know I cannot and will not do it any longer and cannot help anyone under the influence. Hope your stomach pains go away with your disease of alcoholism.
((((hugs))))
Thank you so much for your post!
I've looked into "medical alternatives" such as you've suggested and in the past it hasn't work, though I will look up your suggestion. My stomach diseases aren't caused by alcoholism, mine is a genetic disorder. I've attempted the meditation and strict diet route, had healing blessing (basically a sage smoke cleanse, rumored to help clear up the mind), etc. I understand what you are saying though about the unmananability. A few others in my fellow ship attempted to smoke and be sober but failed. But I believe to be the difference though is that they have no medical problems, therefore simply abused it.
I'll pray for you and others' today, thank you. (:
Once upon a time in America, over 90% opposed interracial marriages. Today 90% think there is nothing wrong with interracial marriages. Once upon a time, a woman suggesting that she should be equal to a man was an indication she had some sort of mental imbalance. Today, it's the woman who thinks she will never be a man's equal who is looked upon that way. Once cigarettes were endorsed by doctors, today that same doctor would be disbarred. Today, marijuana for medicinal use is considered suspect - perhaps in the future we will flip flop on that position too.
In the meantime, I hope that I continue to be willing to extend the hand of AA to those alcoholics in need, whether or not they are in an interracial marriage, her views on a woman's role in society, or on whether or not this person smokes. This is AA - it's about alcohol - period. NA says that a drug is a drug is a drug and 'alcohol is a drug'. Its one of the tension between the fellowships in that AA is different and it is only interested in alcoholism.
Thanks, Angell. I've tried using this view in meetings, but was asked to stop because it was impeding others'. I came to AA to get clean off of alcohol, "the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking" which is what I'm trying to do if someone would sponsor me.. I go to NA for my narcotic dependence, which surprisingly they are more accepting. Trust me, once you've been a junkie for years, weed just seems like nothing.
For me (and this is just my random babble on it) it comes down to what you think your problem is. Just as only I can decide if I'm an alcoholic then only you are the one that needs to worry if the MJ is anything for you to be concerned about.
Personally I find dope isn't where I want to take my head, because how I'd need to break the law here to do it which would mess with the honesty part of the program, and it's effect takes me away from who I'd like to be, but having smoked it off and on for years I don't see the actual smoking of it being a big deal. And yours is for a doctor sanctioned medical issue which trumps a layman's opinion.
Look inside your heart, would be my advice, and be truthful to that. I think if you are really honest with yourself things will work out OK in whatever shape that takes.
Thanks, Angell. I've tried using this view in meetings, but was asked to stop because it was impeding others'. I came to AA to get clean off of alcohol, "the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking" which is what I'm trying to do if someone would sponsor me.. I go to NA for my narcotic dependence, which surprisingly they are more accepting. Trust me, once you've been a junkie for years, weed just seems like nothing.
I can understand and expected that you would get such a reaction. Here's my candid opinion:
I am an alcoholic and an addict. This morning I accepted two prescription painkillers from my wife that were prescribed to her - not me. I had woken with the worst migraine I've had in years and was completely incapacitated. Normally I am able to get in front of the pain so to speak and use various techniques I've developed over the years to manage it but I couldn't this morning - it was simply too severe and just waking up, well I was incapacitated by sleepiness as well. I would never recommend that someone new in the program (or even those with some time behind them) self-medicate but I know the drill. I've gone to the emergency room for pain management in the past and with my physical history they are quick to give me what I ask for. So what's the point? I'm going to go and tell them what I need and they're going to give it to me along with a $400 bill or I can take something on my own.
Fact is though, many addicts and alcoholics are quick to self-medicate when they are really trying to escape. Many, especially those new to recovery, don't have enough self-honesty to know their true motives; remember that our disease is insideous. I've gone years between self-medicating episodes though and I don't like the feeling of being removed from myself any longer - and so it remains a last resort for me. I can see how someone taking anything would be a cause for concern for potential sponsors, even someone taking prescribed mind altering meds but I maintain that there are those who take such things responsibly. My threshold for accepting such behavior in a sponsee is if they maintain some level of pain rather than try to eliminate it completely simply because once all the pain is gone, the meds then tend to alter their consciousness. If a person is taking just enough to take the edge off so that they can manage the rest of the pain on their own then I think they are being responsible.
Trying to convince anyone, even a sponsor, that it is acceptable is a effort in futility. They either accept it or they don't. Ultimately though, you have to make the call. If you choose to take anything mind altering - prescribed or otherwise, you risk relapse and jails, institutions or death. Check your motives carefully and if you are convinced (and it sounds like you are) then do what you have to. As for getting a sponsor... you might simply ask someone to help you work the steps rather than sponsor you. You may find after you do so that your view on medical marijuana changes - or that their opinion of you taking it changes.
Do you have a prescription? In *my* opinion... that's the biggest deciding factor. I have prescriptions for numerous DRUGS (yes... all prescription meds are DRUGS). Only 1 of my prescription meds is commonly used by addicts (xanax)... but I do not use it to get high... I use it as prescribed to alleviate intense anxiety that I get.
If your marijuana is prescribed to you... I would DEFINITELY not see a problem using your prescription meds as prescribed AND considering yourself sober in AA (if you ARE sober, that is).
If a person uses marijuana recreationally... but it does not cause their life "to become unmanageable" the way alcohol does (if they are an alcoholic) I also *personally* would not see a problem having the same stance as if it were prescribed. But I can certainly understand how/why some would.
The only requirement in AA is the desire to stop DRINKING (as in alcohol).
Oh, also... I've read that some doctors prescribe medicinal marijuana to HELP severe alcoholics reduce their addiction to alcohol. My only reference to that is in the book "How To Change Your Drinking" by Kenneth Anderson.
Once cigarettes were endorsed by doctors, today that same doctor would be disbarred.
This is only my guess... but this is probably because now it is known that any positive health effects can be obtained by taking over-the-counter niacin (the name 'niacin' was derived from nicotinic acid + vitamin) without giving you a nicotine addiction or any of the harmful effects from smoking.
Prescription or not ... ... ... TOTAL HONESTY is the question here ... ... You have to ask yourself, am I taking this right now for pain? ... OR am I taking this cause I feel the need to be 'high' ... am I making an excuse to get the drug, or am I getting it because there IS NO alternative, ??? ... or do I not want to know if there is an alternative or not ... ???
Any use of any 'mind altering' substance should be something we all should very closely scrutinize ... ... ... Sure, I needed a few days of 'pain killers' coming out of surgery, but it's when I double the dose to get the 'high' I want, is when there's abuse ... if I stop taking the 'pain killer' when the pain is lessened or gone, then Im good ... but if I go and complain to the doctor that it's still painful, then I'm lying to him and myself for the sake of getting high ... (and to get 'high' is really just to 'check out' of reality for a little while ... then we must return by clearing of the head) ...
That's my 2 cents worth, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. Not stopping drinking. Not stopping perfectly legal medication. Just the desire to stop drinikng. The AA people you're meeting are assholes...I'm sorry but it's true. Keep looking until you find some that aren't.
The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. Not stopping drinking. Not stopping perfectly legal medication. Just the desire to stop drinikng. The AA people you're meeting are assholes...I'm sorry but it's true. Keep looking until you find some that aren't.
The guiding principle of singleness of purpose in AA has been one of the most important guiding constraints. Without it, we would have succumbed to mission creep back in the 1950s when pills ("solid alcohol") started to become a societal problem. It was very smart to stick with alcohol only. Focus, focus, focus on alcohol resulted in great and steady growth in AA from 1941 to the late 1990s.
Of course, things can change over much time. It's looking like singleness of purpose just might be a suicide pact, strangling our ability to adapt to the real world, e.g., 50-plus% of alkies being dually addicted. AA's response to the very significant drug use changes in our membership is to ignore it.
Not a good long term strategy for AA. And the membership numbers nowdays seem to reflect this.
