My mother is worried about the safety of me driving my truck. It's a 1999 gmc Sierra. My father crashed it before he died. I used the money I got from him to repair it when I was 15. Since then, I have hit 1 school bus (under the influence) 1 garbage truck (tailgating and texting) a church wall (it's complicated... The wall was part of the driveway not the building and I was trying to get to the meeting inside, and scraped the passenger side against the wall) and a sonoco gas station pole (similar to church wall incident). One head light is duct taped into place. The handle to pull down the tailgate is rigged. Seriously, this truck is in disrepair.
I'm really torn. This truck and a special zippo lighter are all I have left of my dad. And I am all for getting a newer car that I'm not embarrassed by (because I don't expect anyone to understand the sentimental value it holds). But sometimes when I'm driving it, I cam feel my dad sitting in the passenger seat (like the day before I went to my cousins funeral). And I'm worried that if I get rid of the truck, he'll stop dropping in on me.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. And I'm not really looking for any specific responses. I just really needed to get it out of me.
Thanks for letting me share.
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My mother is worried about the safety of me driving my truck. It's a 1999 gmc Sierra. My father crashed it before he died. I used the money I got from him to repair it when I was 15. Since then, I have hit 1 school bus (under the influence) 1 garbage truck (tailgating and texting) a church wall (it's complicated... The wall was part of the driveway not the building and I was trying to get to the meeting inside, and scraped the passenger side against the wall) and a sonoco gas station pole (similar to church wall incident). One head light is duct taped into place. The handle to pull down the tailgate is rigged. Seriously, this truck is in disrepair. I'm really torn. This truck and a special zippo lighter are all I have left of my dad. And I am all for getting a newer car that I'm not embarrassed by (because I don't expect anyone to understand the sentimental value it holds). But sometimes when I'm driving it, I cam feel my dad sitting in the passenger seat (like the day before I went to my cousins funeral). And I'm worried that if I get rid of the truck, he'll stop dropping in on me. I'm not sure why I'm posting this. And I'm not really looking for any specific responses. I just really needed to get it out of me. Thanks for letting me share.
Lol Tanin, I never got any of these dents fixed cause I don't have $ to spend on cosmetic damage. I'll be sure to upload pics of it soon. And Chris- I'm trying to figure a place to keep it. Not in a storage unit, I live in an apartment complex so I could just park it, but I feel like it would be "unsafe" to do that. (that sounded dumb... Being protective over a truck) but I did say a year or two ago I was gonna make it a dog house when I finally own some property.
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Thanks for sharing about it Ruhig. I know you said you didn't want comments, but I just wanted to let you know that I have done the same sort of thing - grasping to some thing that I felt held a piece of a loved one that is gone. It's so hard when they're gone isn't it? Time has forced me to let some of those things go, for the same reasons as what's happening to you - they just don't last forever. Being forced to part with the first "thing" taught me that I can still keep that person in my heart forever. I don't need the "thing" to do that, and it being gone, also helped me move on. Now I see it's okay to be without it. I think in the end, our passed away loved ones would want us to move on and be happy and unstuck. But that is just my opinion and experience, and I'm guessing talking to professional - grief counselor or something - would be really helpful if you can swing it. (((hugs)))
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
It's been 6 years... Bout time to let it go, don't you think? Everyone dies. Atleast he's not battling the dragon (or monkey the monkey on his back... I've heard both versions) anymore.
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I agree about taking pictures of it before/if you sell it... I've started doing that with some sentimental items that I just don't have room for... scan it and/or take pics of it to have it pop up randomly in my screensaver which goes through random photos and makes me smile when pics like that pop up. Then the memories and smiles are still there.
I like the idea of turning it into a dog house. That's an awesome idea... the problem would be storing it until you get that chance though :/
I'd keep it around for moving stuff and get a car that you can manage. I have 4 trucks, 3 cars, and 6 motorcycles. They all run well and are currently tagged and span 6 decades from '60's through 2010. If I had one of my dad's cars I'd never get rid of it. I have absolutely nothing of my dads, thanks to the second wife from hell, who didn't even call to tell me he died. That was after not allowing me to see him for the last 7 years of his life. You want to talk about working on resentments. It was all I could do to not think about hiring someone to take care of this women. sorry didn't mean to hijack your thread.
I'm sorry dean-- really sincerely sorry you had that resentment. But I figure in addition to the dog house idea, I will always think of him when Georgia sattelites (keep your hands to yourself) and brookes & dunn (boot scootin boogie) come on. And mp3s only take virtual space. I've come a long way though. I kept a pair of his socks & underwear for like three years in my socks & underwear drawer. Lol that's weird.
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(I just wanted to add... When I hit that school bus, it was at 5 mph and there were no kids on the bus and NO ONE noticed... I just finished reading the thread neophyte wrote and how python wrote about DUI serial killers)
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I was just trying to catch up on some reading here and came across this thread ... Ruhig ... Sweetheart, I'm with Dean on this one all the way ...
If it's not a financial burden to you, and you can keep it as a 'work' truck for a while longer, I'd get a little used car to putt around in if you can afford it easy enough, ... you know? ... something with good fuel mileage ... ... ...
The fact that it brings to you "Pleasant" memories, is enough reason to hang on to it ... if the memories were horrible, then that's a different story ... if it brings you comfort, hold on to it for as long as you can ... (that means it more like your favorite pillow or blanket ...)(it just feels good to be around or touching them)
Love You, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Set a budget and timeline for the next year. New job w a better wage should help. And researching longevity/repair bills/mpg should help my decision. And I really want enough room in the new car to put my sleeping bag in, I love taking naps in my truck.
Thanks for the support guys
-- Edited by Ruhig on Tuesday 7th of August 2012 07:23:46 AM
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I get the emotional tie of this truck. I have a 1981 Guzzi, that hawsn't run for 9 years. I'm emotionally bonded to it. My Dad died in 2000, I don't have ANYTHING that was his and I'm OK with that NOW.
As for the truck, yep, I'd find a way to keep it and get myself something cheap and economical as a daily drive - but then, I'm a petrolhead.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
If I had one of my dad's cars I'd never get rid of it. I have absolutely nothing of my dads, thanks to the second wife from hell, who didn't even call to tell me he died. That was after not allowing me to see him for the last 7 years of his life. You want to talk about working on resentments. 
It was all I could do to not think about hiring someone to take care of this women. 